Minister of Science and Chief Protector of the Faith

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

The Reliable Dividend Growth Fund at Reliable Investments

 
No time for blogging today! I am busy consulting with my investment broker. (Good news! He is going to help me shed some of that dead wood in my portfolio! He assures me that I should become much more streamlined in the process. Do I look any thinner?) In the meantime you can watch this swell video about how to buy into the Reliable Dividend Growth Fund at Reliable Investments! (Their brokers say that it's a great time to invest!)
 

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Blue Gal is Having a Telethon!

 
Blue Gal is having a telethon! Please contribute... Because if you don't, the terrorists win!
 

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The Pelosi Speech That Made House Republicans Cry

 
 

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Monday, September 29, 2008

Wall Street Hijinks

 
I still don't think that it has been explained properly that an actual crisis is at hand. I want to see numbers and graphs and stuff.

That aside, I would like to see the media explain how Sen. Boehner and the conservative House Republican's big plan was to get rid of capital gains tax, more deregulation, temporary tax breaks and relaxation of other rules, and for a federally funded insurance program to bail out less-solvent institutions to encourage investors. (This would insure that Wall Street investors would net all of the possible profits and assume none of the risk. Sound familiar?)

The government oversight, compensation limits for executives and provisions for taxpayers to share in any profits from the sale of distressed assets were what the Democrats asked for, despite the quotes from the media.
 

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Rep. Michele Bachmann Explains the Recent Financial Crisis

 

During a Senate hearing on Thursday, Rep. Michele Bachmann pinned blame for financial crisis on President Clinton, "blacks," and "other minorities." To make her point, she read from an article written by Terry Jones in the right-wing publication Investor's Business Daily. Jones criticized the Community Reinvestment Act (CRA) and said Clinton was misguided for pushing "homeownership as a way to open the door for blacks and other minorities to enter the middle class." thinkprogress.org

Ha! So the mortgage meltdown isn't the fault of the sweet, kindly old bankers or those hard working mortgage brokers at all! It is the fault of those negroes. It all makes sense now... Hey, wait a minute - Barack Obama is a negro! (I'm just sayin'...)
 

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Zaius of our Lives

 
No time for blogging today! The girls of the LGPPP and I am busy signing up prosective voters for our last minute voter registration drive. (important registration deadlines are coming up - make sure that you are registered to vote!) In the meantime you can watch this swell video that I found, "Zaius of our Lives". (No! I'm not moving to Kong Island, Mother!)
 

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Friday, September 26, 2008

McCain Offers Deregulation as the Solution to Deregulation Based Fiscal Crisis

 

No, I'm not kidding. That's really what their big plan is! [ Oliver Willis, upi.com ]

I didn't believe it at first, either.
 

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McYoda, Then and Now...

 

Then...


Now...
 

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Gaijin A Go-Go!

 
Skebe Baby!
Tempura Mental
Go-Go #55
Chigau (live)
Copycat
Sushi Pillow Promo
Gaijin a Go-Go
Go-Go Bootist (live)


Gaijin A Go-Go
 

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Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Obama: Time For Change

 
This is just a silly Obama video that I made. I'm tired of television news and pundits and whatever the lead story of the day is. I am going to MAKE myself be in a good mood today.

Being in a positive mood is like climbing a staircase, it takes effort to get to the top. And being in a negative mood is like going down a staircase, it's very easy to get to the bottom.

I know this is true, because I saw it on the TV miniseries "Shogun". Blackthorne's faithful interpreter Mariko said so! Then again, she also said "Look at this rock, Anjin-san. Listen to it growing".
 

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Tuesday, September 23, 2008

My Friend George Sent Me This

 

If you grow up in Hawaii, raised by your grandparents, you're exotic alien and different. But if you grow up eating mooseburgers and shooting elk, you're a quintessential American story.

If your parents named you Barack, you're a radical, unpatriotic Muslim. If you name your kids Willow, Trig and Track, you're a loveable maverick.

If you graduate from Harvard Law School, you are elitist. Attend 5 different small colleges before graduating, you're well grounded.

If you spend 3 years as a community organizer, become the first black President of the Harvard Law Review, create a voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new voters, spend 12 years as a Constitutional Law professor, spend 8 years as a State Senator representing a district with over 750,000 people, become chairman of the state Senate's Health and Human Services committee, spend 4 years in the United States Senate representing a state of 13 million people while sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works and Veteran's Affairs committees, you don't have any real leadership experience. If your total resume is: local weather girl, 4 years on the city council and 6 years as the mayor of a town with less than 7,000 people, 20 months as the governor of a state with only 650,000 people, you're qualified to become the country's second highest ranking executive.

If you have been married to the same woman for 19 years while raising a family, you're not a real Christian. If you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, and left your disfigured wife and married the heiress the next month, you're a Christian.

If you teach responsible, age appropriate sex education, including the proper use of birth control, you are irresponsibly eroding the fiber of society. If, while governor, you staunchly advocate abstinence only, with no other option in sex education in your state's school system while your unwed teen daughter ends up pregnant, you're very responsible.

If your wife is a Harvard graduate lawyer who gave up a position in a prestigious law firm to work for the betterment of her inner city community, then gave that up to raise a family, your family's values don't represent America's values. If your husband is nicknamed "First Dude", with at least one DWI conviction and no college education, who didn't register to vote until age 25 and once was a member of a group that advocated the secession of Alaska from the USA, your family is extremely admirable.

OK, much clearer now.
 

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Tracy Chapman: "Talkin' About a Revolution"

 
No time for blogging today! I am busy negotiating with congress to get myself bailed out of wee bit of a financial mess. My assets were really on the line, but luckily for me the House and Senate are going to borrow against the future wealth of the American public's grandchildren so that I can keep all 7 of my mansions. (I shall make a hefty profit on both ends! I made a tidy sum leading up to the financial meltdown, and I shall be paid a hefty consulting fee after the 700 billion is distributed!) In the meantime you can watch this swell video of Tracy Chapman singing "Talkin' About a Revolution". (This is definitely a fair weather forecast for my already porcine portfolio. I'm think that I'll go shopping!)
 

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The 'Alaska Women Reject Palin' Rally

 

The Alaska Women Reject Palin rally was to be held outside on the lawn in front of the Loussac Library in midtown Anchorage. Home made signs were encouraged, and the idea was to make a statement that Sarah Palin does not speak for all Alaska women, or men. I had no idea what to expect.

The rally was organized by a small group of women, talking over coffee. It made me wonder what other things have started with small groups of women talking over coffee. It's probably an impressive list. These women hatched the plan, printed up flyers, posted them around town, and sent notices to local media outlets. One of those media outlets was KBYR radio, home of Eddie Burke, a long-time uber-conservative Anchorage talk show host. Turns out that Eddie Burke not only announced the rally, but called the people who planned to attend the rally 'a bunch of socialist baby-killing maggots,' and read the home phone numbers of the organizers aloud over the air, urging listeners to call and tell them what they thought. The women, of course, received some nasty, harassing and threatening messages.

I felt a bit apprehensive. I'd been disappointed before by the turnout at other rallies. Basically, in Anchorage, if you can get 25 people to show up at an event, it's a success. So, I thought to myself, if we can actually get 100 people there that aren't sent by Eddie Burke, we'll be doing good. A real statement will have been made. I confess, I still had a mental image of 15 demonstrators surrounded by hundreds of menacing 'socialist baby-killing maggot' haters.

It's a good thing I wasn't tailgating when I saw the crowd in front of the library or I would have ended up in somebody's trunk. When I got there, about 20 minutes early, the line of sign wavers stretched the full length of the library grounds, a long the edge of the road, 6 or 7 people deep! I could hardly find a place to park. I nabbed one of the last spots in the library lot, and as I got out of the car and started walking, people seemed to join in from every direction, carrying signs.

Never, have I seen anything like it in my 17 and a half years living in Anchorage. The organizers had someone walk the rally with a counter, and they clicked off well over 1400 people (not including the 90 counter-demonstrators). This was the biggest political rally ever, in the history of the state. I was absolutely stunned. The second most amazing thing is how many people honked and gave the thumbs up as they drove by. And even those that didn't honk looked wide-eyed and awe-struck at the huge crowd that was growing by the minute. This just doesn't happen here.

Then, the infamous Eddie Burke showed up. He tried to talk to the media, and was instantly surrounded by a group of 20 people who started shouting O-BA-MA so loud he couldn't be heard. Then passing cars started honking in a rhythmic pattern of 3, like the Obama chant, while the crowd cheered, hooted and waved their signs high.

So, if you've been doing the math… Yes. The Alaska Women Reject Palin rally was significantly bigger than Palin's rally that got all the national media coverage! So take heart, sit back, and enjoy the photo gallery. Feel free to spread the pictures around to anyone who nee ds to know that Sarah Palin most definitely does not speak for all Alaskans. The citizens of Alaska, who know her best, have things to say.
 

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Friday, September 19, 2008

Plan 9 From Outer Space

 
Plan 9 From Outer Space...
Randal over at L'ennui mélodieux has recently compared the McCain campaign to the film Plan 9 From Outer Space...

Which makes a certain degree of sense, as Plan 9 deals with the resurrection of the dead....
Which makes a certain degree of sense, as Plan 9 deals with the resurrection of the dead....

Sarah Palin explains...
I sort of had a different film in mind, though...
 

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The Adventures of Barack Obama Across the 8th Dimension!

 
During a failed political experiment during the Ford administration, Dick Cheney briefly enters another dimension where his mind is taken over by the evil Lord John Whorfin.
During a failed political experiment during the Ford administration, Dick Cheney briefly enters another dimension where his mind is taken over by the evil Lord John Whorfin.

Lord Whorfin is the leader of the Lectroids, a race of alien  neocons from Planet 10 in the 8th dimension.
Lord Whorfin is the leader of the Lectroids, a race of alien neocons from Planet 10 in the 8th dimension.

In the guise of Cheney, Lord Whorfin brings his army of neocon Lectroids to Earth. They are able to disguise their appearence and pass as human among the American population because of their infiltration of the...
In the guise of Cheney, Lord Whorfin brings his army of neocon Lectroids to earth. They are able to disguise their appearence and pass as human among the American population because of their infiltration of the...

...the mainstream media...
...mainstream media...

...and the military industrial complex. That is, Haliburton!
...and the military industrial complex.

'Is everything alright with the soon to be stolen presidential election, or should we just go ahead and destroy russia?'
The neocon Lectroids use the failed wartime policies to distract the public from their theft of billions of dollars, and to steal national elections.

There is only one hope that can save the country from certain destruction at the hands of the evil neocon Lectroids - Barack Obama and the Blue State Cavaliers.
There is only one man that can save the country from certain destruction at the hands of the evil neocon Lectroids - Barack Obama and the Blue State Cavaliers.

Barack Obama will save the world with his campaign of hope, his handy Oscillation Overthruster, and...
Barack Obama will save the world with his campaign of hope, his handy Oscillation Overthruster, and...

The power of Rock & Roll!
...the power of Rock & Roll!

The Adventures of Barack Obama Across the 8th Dimension!
 

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Election Update for September 19, 2008 - "A New High In Hyperbole!"

 
No time for blogging today! Germaine Gregarious and I are off to the Grassy Knoll to check out a library book. In the meantime, you can watch this swell video of some of my campaign voluteers encouraging new voters on the Starship Enterprise!


In other campaign news, Dr. Smith has recently woken up in a French Chambermaid's uniform with no memory of the night before, with only the mysterious contents of his pocket to trigger his lost memories...


After Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator encountered a radioactive monster at the Blogger Beach Party, he settled down to create some Froodleicious iDoodles! (One of them features Freida Bee kicking Sarah Palin's butt!)


iSplotchy has been keeping a low profile...


Sleestak over at Lady, That's My Skull is keeping a secret - July 23rd was his 3 year blogaversary, and he didn't tell anyone!


Dr. Monkerstein is spending his retirement doing guest spots on various TV news shows...


Meanwhile, Diva Jood and her evil henchpersons (Randal Graves, OKJimm, Sister Mary Ellen, and Bradda) continue to live up to their tarnished reputations!
 

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Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Caption Contest (With Videos!)

 
The Enchanted Republican ForestBritney and McCain in 2008
Sarah Palin's Shocking UNSEEN RNC Speech!Mac vs McCain Ad



Who actually won the Miss Alaska of 1984 contest? (Scroll down.) [ 2 ] Contrary to some reports, Palin was second runner-up, not the second-place finisher in the Miss Alaska competition. Palin competed again in 1985 but didn't place. (Here are some extra Palin pix.)
 

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Dr. Zira speaking at the Bay Area Women's Club

 
No time for blogging today! Ms. Gregarious and I are busy instilling a coherent moral vision in the youth of America! I am sure that you will agree that the moral judgment and ethical values of the character this country's children are best defined by the caliber of the tools that we give our kids to work with. (What is the difference between the LGPPP and the Girl Scouts? Girl Scouts don't have heavy artillery!) In the meantime, you can watch this swell video of my esteemed colleague Dr. Zira speaking at the Bay Area Women's Club. (Take that, Charleton Heston!)
 

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Caution! Children At Play

 
 

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German children playing with stacks of worthless banknotes in 1923.
 

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Brought To You By....

 


 

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Sunday, September 14, 2008

"Who's That Spartan In My Teepee?" "It's me! It's Me!"

 
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26
It never ceases to amaze me how often I will accidentally find something really cool on a search engine that I wasn't actually looking for. Recently I found several versions of the SNL Spartan Cheerleading Skit performed by various kids from different schools across the country. After I watched two or three of them I was hooked! It's really fun to note the differences in delivery and diction of the young thespians, as well as the ways in which the sketches are staged and rewritten. My personal favorite is this one, but I also really liked these versions: [ 2, 4, 5, 6, 9 ] I really enjoyed how they managed to play out the pathos in the ending in this version, and this version from the Montgomery Community Vacation Bible School gets a special award for unintentional self-parody and general creepiness.
 

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Sows Purses and Pigs Ears

 

I think my version is more true to life...
 

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Catnip Toys and Kitty Litter

 
No time for blogging today! I am busy winding down the Beach Blogger Party with my running mate, Germaine Gregarious, on the remote beaches of the secret island headquarters of one of my esteemed colleagues, Dr. Moreau. We are performing important scientific experiments on some of the inhabitants. (We are trying to figure out what shade of lipstick looks best on Pig Man.) In the meantime, you can watch this swell video of the awesome kitty transformation sequence from the TV show, "Manimal". (Jeepers! I'll bet Dr. Moreau shells out a fortune for catnip toys and kitty litter.)
 

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Friday, September 12, 2008

McCain Campaign: Obama a sponsor of Sex-Ed For Kindergartners!

 
Ack! It turns out that Sarah Palin's daughter has just given birth to John McCain's illegitimate black baby, Alan Keyes!
 

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Letter Written By Anne Kilkenny

 
 

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Thursday, September 11, 2008

If the Pork Chop Fits, Wear It!

 
John McCain has an important message for the American people...

The Republican Party is now brimming with righteous indignation!

But it's amazing quickly they forget...

 

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A Special Thank You to Germaine Gregarious

 
As the Blogger Beach Party winds down, I would like to take a moment to formally thank my running mate, Germaine Gregarious, for going above and beyond the call of Blogger Beach Party duty! Please clear the dance floor for a special spotlight tribute to Ms. Gregarious... I present in her name what is perhaps the most awesome beach movie song ever, Peewee Herman singing "Surfin' Bird" [ 2 ] from the 1987 film, "Back to the Beach".


Ms. Gregarious bent over backwards to come up with a Blogger Beach Party post every single day. She posted about Negril Beach, Jamaica, Lanikai Beach, Oahu, Basra, Iraq, the "Singapore Sling", Popoyo, Nicaragua, Oak Street Beach, Chicago, Claromeco, Argentina, Boracay Island, Phillipines, Olympic Beach, Greece, "Cabana boy, 4 mai tai's please!", "How to Stuff a Wild Bikini", Monkey Beach, Penang, Malaysia, Cabo San Lucas, Homolulu, Norway, Halle Berry v. Ursula Andress throw down, Sex on the Beach, South Beach, Miami, Wreck Beach, Vancouver, Un Mot, Fiji, Playa Santa Lucia, Comaguey, Cuba, Newport Beach, California, "Summer of Lesbians", Zlatni Rat (Golden Horn) Beach, Brac, Lesbos, Mytilini, the Beach Boys, Hamilton Beach, Phi Phi Beach, Thailand, the Bikini Atoll, Batumi Beach, Georgia, Gilligan's Island, Mombasa, Kenya, Beach, North Dakota, and Hurricane Gustav,




And a special shout out to Swinebread over at Atomic Romance! Yay!
 

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Blogger Beach Party Flotsam and Jetsam

 

Beach Blogger Party Words for Today!
Flotsam: wreckage or cargo left floating on the sea after a shipwreck.
Jetsam: cargo or equipment thrown overboard (jettisoned) from a ship.
Lagan: wreckage or cargo that lies at the bottom of the sea.

Britney Spears in Pepsi beach commercial
Beach movie montage (featuring Sandra Dee)
Geeky bikini commercial
"Beach Girls And The Monster" Trailer
Extremely Strange Neil Sedaka clip: "I'm sorry to leave you half oiled, Arlene."

"Here they come, Muscles Anonymous!"
"Muscle Beach Party" Annette Funicello (45 rpm)
"Surfer's Holiday" (beginning credits)
Stevie Wonder with Dick Dale & his Del-tones

 

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Awesome!

 
 

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Sunday, September 07, 2008

What Do John McCain and George McGovern Have in Common?

 
What do John McCain and George McGovern have in common?

Both were decorated combat veterans...

Both ran for the highest office in the land...

And both had to drop their VP pick due to mental health issues!

 

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The K.I.S.S. Principle

 
Barack Obama's convention speech was all talk-talk-talk, blah-blah-blah. He went on endlessly about pertinent facts, policy analysis and solutions for America's problems. On the other hand...

John McCain kept his message clear and concise!
...John McCain kept his message clear and concise!
 

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Speaking of the K.I.S.S. Principle...

 

 

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