Minister of Science and Chief Protector of the Faith

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

The First Real Test of the Obama Administration

[ 1,  2,  3 ]
Although I am loathe to acknowledge the fanatical football and basketball related ravings of Randal Graves, I do quite enjoy some of the finer, more civilized sports. I have always been a solid enthusiest of the those sports where it is not important to know the rules or follow the score, those sports where women are able to show off their natural talents and demonstrate their keen bikinabilities.

It is for this very reason that I was so dismayed to find that the Lingerie Bowl has officially been canceled. I first heard about this sad turn of events on Keith Olbermann's fine television program.

At issue is a contract dispute over previously agreed upon 'clothing mandate', not for the girls - but the residents and guests at the clothing-optional community resort that the event was to be held! You can read all about it in The Suncoast News.

The Miami Caliente vs. Tampa Breeze game is scheduled for January 31! That's only a few days from now! If there was ever a time for President Obama to lead an emergency bipartisan diplomatic team to the far off land of Florida to settle this ridiculous 'clothing mandate' issue, now is the time. Forget about the Middle East, President Obama! You must dispatch Hillary Clinton or Dennis Ross to Land O' Lakes, Florida immediately!

Foul play, I say. Foul play!

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My Friend George Sent Me These



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The Armed Forces Handicraft Guide to Cartooning


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Monday, January 26, 2009

The Latest Literary News

Sarah Palin is shopping around for a multi-million dollar book deal! She is going to write a scathing expose of the wicked old mainstream media, and how they forced her to lose the election. Curse you, Katie Couric!

Oh, and Sarah Palin isn't the only one that is going to be gracing the Republican discount book-of-the-month clubs this Spring. Joe the Plumber is writing a book too!

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Bush's Faith-Based initiatives declared a Success, With the Mighty Miracle Manna Loaf!

Behold the mighty Miracle Manna Loaf! [ 2 ] This is what would have been the future school lunch program if Republicans still ran the country. The cracker should certainly help children with their multiplication tables - It's God's own multiplication cracker! I am all for things that are extra Jesus-a-licious, but I am always a little leery of anybody that says that they have "released a mighty annointing" upon anything, especially food.

Now, as annoying as his holiness Peter Popoff [ 2 ] and his Miracle Manna Loaf may be (I just saw it on television, and trust me - it's mighty annoying), This bit of news is actually a bit more troublesome...

the Republicans are making a last ditch effort to propmote their Faith-Based initiatives in a recently released report, despite the program's obvious failures.

The report, titled "Innovations in Compassion," states that George Bush's failed program was in fact a huge success. In the face of certain defeat, they have just declared victory and skulked away.

According to Americans United For the Separation of Church and State executive director, Rev. Barry W. Lynn, "The Bush initiative played crass politics with social service funding and jeopardized civil rights and civil liberties. All the PR spin in the world can't turn this monumental Bush failure into a success. President Bush should have gotten the Golden Globe, for playing a 'compassionate conservative' while doing precious little to actually help disadvantaged Americans."

You just know that some smarmy congressman is going to hold up this stupid report in session and use it to "prove" the worth of some cockamamie scheme, like making Peter Popoff's mighty Miracle Manna Loaf a mandatory part of the national school lunch program.


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Monday, January 19, 2009

The Sword In the Stone


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John McCain Forces His Wife To Be a Wallflower - Again


"John McCain's wife Cindy was recently approached by producers of the TV show 'Dancing With The Stars' and asked to go on the show. A source told the New York Post, 'Just before Thanksgiving, Cindy McCain started talks with producers to appear as a dancer on the show. She wanted to do it very badly.' But this week, Sen. McCain 'put the kibosh on it.' A spokesperson for TV channel ABC, which broadcasts the show, said they would 'not comment on casting rumors.'", via Oliver Willis.

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A Song About Baking a Cake!

No time for blogging today! Ms. Gregarious and I are busy getting ready for the Obama Inauguration! (I am not sure if we are wearing blue because we are Democrats, or because we are both still sad about losing the election.) In the meantime, you can watch this swell video of Stephanie of LazyTown singing, "You've Gotta do the Cooking by the Book." This video is meant specifically for President Obama, as his new adminstration will most certainly have to cook many books. (As a world leaer from the future, I should know! I have had to cook many a book in my time.)


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Sunday, January 18, 2009

Hot Patootie!

It's almost time...

The song and dance is almost over...

Amidst much fanfare...

George Bush is finally leaving.

(Oh, and President Cheney is leaving too!)

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A doggy and Kitty in Love ('The Good Life')

No time for blogging today! I seem to have gotten myself into something of a sticky-wicket. (The next time I buy a 'build-a-ship-in-a bottle' kit, I fully intend to read the directions more closely!) In the meantime you can watch this swell video of a doggy and kitty in love. I don't care what those Pro-Proposition 8 people say, I am all for gay marriage if it means more weddings of doggies and kitties!


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Thursday, January 15, 2009

Twice Upon aTime

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

"Restored from many sources, is John Korty's lost animated cult-classic. In this magical tale, two misfit heros of a dream world attempt to stop a mad man from turning our world into an enternal nightmare. In this part, Botch tries to con our heros into stealing the main spring from the Cosmic Clock that controls time. Will he succeed?" marvin8723


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Monday, January 12, 2009

Surfs Up!


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The U.S. Air Force has created an Anti-Blogger Blogging Device!


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Pay No Attention to the Bartender Behind the Curtain...

Ack! No time for blogging right now, I have woken up in a strange place and someone has stolen all of my clothes! This place is filled with strange monsters - I have already had to fight off a crazed robot with an axe and a raggedy zombie man who was asking for brains! (Jeepers, I am going to have to lay off of the mai tai's for a while...) In the meantime, you can watch this swell video called, "I Love Death".

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Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Obama Has Been Dupeda By Sanjay Gupta


Although I can grudgingly accept that President-elect Barack Obama has chosen America's second most famous brain surgeon, Sanjay Gupta, for the U.S. surgeon general post, I can only say that the reason that I was not chosen was due purely to political cronyism, partisan politics and abject favoritism. I mean, I have performed far more lobotomies on humans than Dr. Gupta ever has!

Ah, well... At least I can console myself with the knowledge that CNN will most certainly be calling me soon to fill in as Dr. Gupta's replacement as a television correspondent. Hey, maybe I will get to meet Christiane Amanpour!

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The Blagojevich Burger

"Chefs at a Chicago restaurant have created a new delicacy inspired by embattled Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich. Kuma's Corner is featuring a new sandwich this month dubbed the "expletive ("#@(*&%^) Blagojevich burger". This behemoth of a burger features a ten ounce hamburger patty, a thick slice of bologna and yellow mustard stuffed between two grilled cheese sandwiches. When patrons receive the burger, one of the sandwiches has a large dollar sign written in mustard. The burger costs ten dollars, but according to restaurant employees the price is 'negotiable'."

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Jennifer Connelly in 'Labyrinth'

No time for blogging today! I am far too busy brushing up on my equestrian skills at my local Target store. (My horse was very polite, I must say. Whenever we came to a fence, he would stop and let me go over first!) When it's all said and done, though, I think that I still prefer roller skating. In the meantime, you can watch these swell clips of my favorite Jennifer Connelly movie, Labyrinth! [ 2, 3, 4 ] (Do you know why horses always have a long face? It's because they always have a tale of 'Whoa'!)


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