Minister of Science and Chief Protector of the Faith

Monday, November 13, 2006

We must save Britney's marriage now--before it is too late!

e must save Britney's marriage now--before it is too late!

If only Congress would pass a Constitutional amendment to save my marriage!The secret to saving the marriage of Britney Spears and Kevin Federline is in their snack food! Mr. Spears Federline loves Doritos, either regular or cool ranch flavored. Spears, on the other hand, is fond of Cheetos! An emergency congressional ammendment to create a new hybrid flavor, Cool Ranch Cheetos, will save the Empire! If only I can get this information to Lord Vader Vice President Cheney in time!

Save Britney's Marriage!
When Republicans tried to pass the Federal Marriage Amendment last summer, their aim was to protect the institution of marriage, which is the basic building block of our society, from being destroyed by gay marriage. But if Republicans really want to save the institution of holy matrimony, they should start by saving Britney's marriage. There is one more lame-duck session of Congress left before the Democrats take over so this may be our last chance to stop this divorce and the copy-cat divorces that are sure to follow.
Ordinarily, the break-up of one marriage wouldn't be something that Congress would concern itself with. But last spring when the Federal government intervened to prevent Terry Schiavo's feeding tube from being removed, Republicans reversed centuries of aloofness from the day-to-day concerns of Americans' lives to show they really cared about all of us.
Saving Britney's marriage would give Republicans one last chance to redeem themselves in the eyes of the American people.
I am sure that Britney would have no problem with the Federal government intervening to stop her divorce since she once said, as depicted in the Michael Moore's film Farenheit 9/11, "Honestly, I think we should just trust our president in every decision he makes and should just support that, you know, and be faithful in what happens." So please write to your Congressmen and Senators and ask them to save Britney's and K-Fed's marriage now--before it is too late. via AMERICAblog

Please support the Defense of Britney's Marriage Act
Britney is a Republican, and we know how much Republicans care about defending other people's marriages. Please join us in defending Britney's marriage. After all, a threat to Britney's marriage is a threat to everyone's marriage. AMERICAblog

Can congress Christianity Save Britney's Marriage?
This week's US Weekly features a headline that one might expect to find on an issue of the magazine Guideposts rather than on one of the nation's top gossip magazines: "Kevin's Last Chance: A Christian life coach helps Britney forgive as she struggles to save her family."

It seems that the once-again-pregnant popster has completely cut Kabblah out of her life, and is returning to the religion of her roots to help resolve her rocky relationship with her husband of 21 months, Kevin Federline. According to the magazine, a source reveals that Spears and Federline "have agreed to continue to pray together and put their faith back into their marriage, recomitting."

For all the headlines of "Christian life coachs gives Britney and hubby faith in marriage," the article offers remarkably little else, other than the aforementioned quotes, about that Christian life coach or the couple's faith life. In fact, it goes on to talk about Federline still showing some party-boy proclivities. And, we don't even know what to make of Britney's brunette and bare spread in Harper's Bazaar, except to paraphrase the late Senator Lloyd Benston and say, "I saw Demi Moore's 'Vanity Fair' spread... and you are no Demi Moore." Save Britney's Marriage
AMERICAblog: Please support the Defense of Britney's Marriage Act Backstage With Kevin Federline


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