Zaius Nation - Some Apes Are More Equal Than Others

Sunday, December 24, 2006

On sale for the Holidays, the War on Christmas!

The true spirit of Christmas, just as God intended

Now that it is almost Christmas, we need to bow our heads in reflection of what is truly important this season: the War on Christmas!

All this "War on Christmas" nonsense was manufactured in 2004 by that sanctimonious hypocrite Bill O'Reilly to bump up ratings -- and maybe distract attention from that whole unfortunate sexual harassment/phone sex episode.

He and Sean Hannity teamed up to try to browbeat Macy's, Target, Wal-Mart and other retailers into shouting, "Christmas! Christmas! Christmas!" at their customers until everyone feels the love of Jesus deep in their eardrums.

More recently, they've been singling out retailers who trumpet "Holiday sales" rather than "Christmas sales" in advertisements.

Amusingly enough, last year O'Reilly and friends got busted red-handed selling "holiday" ornaments on the Fox News Web store. The blurb for one ornament even said, "Put your holiday tree in the 'No Spin Zone' with this silver glass 'O'Reilly Factor' ornament."

Whose side are you on, Bill?

I'll admit that I find it silly to refer to "holiday trees." However, those who pride themselves on being good Christians might realize that the Christmas tree is pagan in origin, and that the Bible criticizes the practice: "For the customs of the people are vain: for one cutteth a tree out of the forest, the work of the hands of the workman, with the axe. They deck it with silver and with gold; they fasten it with nails and with hammers, that it move not..." -- Jeremiah 10:3-4.

[...] But the biggest reason many Christians like me can't get agitated about the so-called "War on Christmas" is that there is so little evidence that such a war is happening.

Christmas decorations started going up in the malls before Halloween, for heaven's sake. roanoke.com

I love my Pagan plastic Christmas tree, and the secular humanists can have it when they can pry it from my cold, dead hands.

People for the American Way's Right Wing Watch (RWW) is wondering if this conservative campaign is at least partly motivated by profit.

In a Wednesday post, RWW wrote: "Basic math says the Liberty Counsel has pulled in an estimated $300,000-plus, the Alliance Defense Fund an estimated $500,000-plus, and the American Family Association an estimated $600,000-plus from selling their 'War on Christmas' wares." Editor & Publisher

The author misses the point. If the church makes money from the War on Christmas, then the law of supply and demand proves that the War on Christmas is true! Jesus was the original sacred economist, just ask Donald Trump - he should know, God gave him lots of money!

President Eisenhower began sending out greeting cards with "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas" in the 1950s. It was no big deal then. Why is it such a big deal now?

I think conservatives do this for a number of reasons. They have nothing else to talk about. They are pretty much wrong on each and every issue and problem facing America today. They have no solutions.

They got us into a bad situation in Iraq. They have created a huge federal budget deficit. Violent crime is up in America’s cities. They have no solutions regarding the spiraling costs of health care. They have no meaningful solutions regarding education.

Most sinister of all, I believe that conservative pundits do it for media ratings and for book sales.

The very people who tell us we are losing sight of the true meaning of Christmas are jumping on the commercialization of Christmas simply to make a buck during the Christmas season.

Merry Christmas to these hypocritical conservatives. nashuatelegraph.com

Oh, ye of little faith. If you read your scriptures carefully, you wuold know that the current problems are all the fault of the ~~damned liberals~~ secular humanists.

FNC will present a three hour primetime O’Reilly Factor Christmas Marathon beginning on Monday December 25th at 8PM EST. Inside Cable via Think Progress

It's scary enough that FAUX News wants to air Bill O'Reilly for THREE HOURS on CHRISTMAS. What's really scary is that there are actually people that are going watch it!

Unless you are just in from Mars, you can hardly have escaped noticing the nationwide campaign to eliminate all references to Christmas from the public square.

The upshot is that the battle is now out in the open. The loud complaints you hear in the media about the "theocons," the Religious Right, etc., are simply the view of the atheists and their allies... Leader Call

Theocons? What the heck is a Theocon? Do we really need a whole new vocabulary to fight the War on Christmas? I am still trying to figure out "culture warrior" and "secular humanist."

This is a War-on-Christmas-free zone. Also a War-on-War-on-Christmas-free zone. We'll have no truck with Hanukkah bashers, nor Kwanzaa kidders, nor Ramadan ridiculers. We're all for holidays here at TV Central. Christian, Mayan, Druid, bring it on. Faith is a fine and lovely thing, so much so that sometimes even TV manages to get it right.

Sometimes not, too. But maybe the real point of the holidays is to give the hate muscles a rare few days off. Forget the fact that eggnog is blucky, and mulled wine a kind of traffic accident between a spice truck and a tanker of Gallo. Come the end of December you raise your glass, wish everyone well and drink it in, happily.

Besides, we can resume our regularly scheduled hatred next week. oregonlive.com

I suppose that if we turn off our hate muscles for even an instant, then we put Christmas at risk. If we let down our guard, the secular humanists will steal baby Jesus right out of the electrically-lit manger. Remember, this Christmas to use your hate muscles for Jesus!