Minister of Science and Chief Protector of the Faith

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Latest GOP funded murder reaches the Senate

GOP plot to take control of the senate.

Sen. Tim Johnson, D-South Dakota, has been poisoned by the GOP with the radioactive substance Polonium-210. He is listed in critical condition. The illness is being disguised as a different disorder by the press under orders from the president.

The Republican governor of South Dakota has the power to appoint Senate replacement for Johnson, effectively tipping the balance of power towards the Republicans.

When asked if they were concerned about getting caught for the attempted murder of Johnson, GOP leaders were incredulous. "They were going to investigate us. US!" Said John McCain, R-Arizona. "What were supposed to do? We had to something to stop them."

In related news, the First Lady Laura Bush said that the press is wrong about Iraq, that there is plenty of good news coming out of Iraq. "The press is just lying to us to ruin Christmas!" the First Lady said.

Get well soon, Senator Johnson.

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