Minister of Science and Chief Protector of the Faith

Saturday, August 11, 2007

 What do you call people who are afraid of Christmas? 'Claus-trophobic!'  

 
Dr. Zaius is at the North Pole!
Sorry, No time for blogging to today. I am helping Santa get ready for Christmas. We are busy fighting the scourge of poisonous Chinese toys over here, so you don't have to fight them over there!

The elves have been really friendly since the moment I got here. At lunchtime they let me have a whole table all to myself! And they seem to be very concerned about my welfare - They keep asking me if I'm not getting homesick!

Also, I think that I might be getting a promotion, because several of the elves in my department have started a petition requesting that I get moved to a different department! I think that it is just swell that we are getting along so well.

I really feel like I'm getting the hang of this toy making stuff, too. I must be doing really well - Santa said that if he continues to see this level of quality in my work, he will send me home early! (Oops! I'm sorry - Did I get some red paint on your green coat? Let me wipe that off for you with this rag...Gosh, that's just made it worse, hasn't it?)

Gotta go! The guys say that want me to help them find a left handed monkey wrench!
 

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7 Comments:

At Sat Aug 11, 10:40:00 AM, Blogger Distributorcap said...

oh great ape-one, Dr Z. --- who knows all..

i thought Santa Claus outsourced everything to the Martians according on the based on fact Pia Zadora movie

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians

Martians, upset that their children have become obsessed with TV shows from Earth which extoll the virtues of Santa Claus, start an expedition to Earth to kidnap the one and only Santa. While on Earth, they kidnap two lively children that lead the group of Martians to the North Pole and Santa. The Martians then take Santa and the two children back to Mars with them. Voldar, a particularly grumpy Martian, attempts to do away with the children and Santa before they get to Mars, but their leader Lomas stops him. When they arrive on Mars, Santa, with the help of the two Earth children and a rather simple-minded Martian lackey, overcomes the Martians by bringing fun, happiness and Christmas cheer to the children of Mars.

Damn those Martians to hell!

 
At Sat Aug 11, 06:40:00 PM, Blogger FranIAm said...

Leave it to Distributorcap to bring up a movie that gave me night terrors!

And what of it that I was 35 at the time?

 
At Sun Aug 12, 03:08:00 AM, Blogger spocko said...

Dr. Z! How did you know that I LOVE Herbie? Some new kind of mind reading?


"I want to be a Dentist!"

A Cowboy who rides an Ostrich!

"We're all MISFITS!"

I can do ALL the voices from the show except Clarice.

 
At Sun Aug 12, 09:16:00 AM, Blogger Evil Spock said...

Evil Spock wishes Evil Spock was in the North Pole right now; its scorching!

 
At Sun Aug 12, 11:03:00 AM, Blogger Dr. Zaius said...

Distributorcap: That was a great movie! Well, no actually it was a god-awful movie. It was one of those movies that was so bad that it was fun to watch. I don't think that Santa Claus outsources to Martians. That's just make believe, like a fairy tale. Santa wouldn't do something like that! And Martians are terrible at making toys.

FranIAm: Martians are pretty scary. (And so is Santa, a little bit!)

Spocko: Look what I found this morning on Ebay - this cool model is going for a starting bid of $10! I'm tempted to buy it.

The fact that you can do all of the voices from Rankin Bass' "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" (except Clarice) is remarkable, ands unfortunately a gift that I am not blessed with. You are certainly a talented fellow!

Evil Spock: It's really hot here as well. Of course, I have central air. (No pleasure, no rapture, no exquisite sin greater, than central air...)

 
At Sun Aug 12, 06:21:00 PM, Blogger spocko said...

I have a singing Herbie doll that I haul out at Christmas time.

(Ah who am I kidding I have it out year round. I love the little guy.)

I want to be Independent!

Me too!

Fine. Then we will be independent together!

 
At Mon Aug 13, 05:28:00 AM, Blogger Dr. Zaius said...

OK, now you are scaring me! ;o)

 

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