Minister of Science and Chief Protector of the Faith

Friday, November 23, 2007

No Neocon Left Behind

Education in this country and it's needed reform has failed to attract significant political attention in this election cycle, and I intend to make it one of the cornerstones of my administration. I feel that it is important at this time to overcome the many obstacles to education reform, and thus I am fully committed to my new program to teach the foul vermin neoconservatives the error of their ways. I call the program "No Neocon Left Behind."

In my comprehensive new program, these traitors shall be interrogated and waterboarded reconditioned and rehabilitated under the tutelage of my academic orangutans, then my gorilla cavalry shall use them for target practice take them on a vigerous cross country run, and finally the neocon's dispositions shall be greatly enhanced by experimental surgery to the hate speech centers of their brains a simple medical procedure by my superb medical staff of chimpanzees. Education is the key to a flourishing democracy! Let's make the extra effort to train our neoconservatives properly.

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At Fri Nov 23, 09:09:00 AM, Blogger Freida Bee said...

"Thank you for the Freedom, sir. Can I have another....uh, er, I mean more. Sorry, sir. That was out of line."

At Fri Nov 23, 09:41:00 AM, Blogger Germaine Gregarious said...

Dear Dr. Zaius, while I would never deny you a thing, you may not have the lesbots for this particular mission. You are very wise in using only chimpanzees who are ugly and smell funny.

(Yes, that may be construed as mudslinging toward one of our opponents, but have you seen what monkeys fling?)

At Sat Nov 24, 12:44:00 AM, Blogger Swinebread said...

I think we should make them serve in Iraq!

At Sat Nov 24, 10:32:00 AM, Blogger Distributorcap said...

is Margaret Spelling your Secy of Education too?

At Sat Nov 24, 12:23:00 PM, Blogger Dr. Zaius said...

Freida Bee: I intend to give the neocons as much freedom as they have afforded others. And my gorilla army knows all kinds ways to execise humans!

Germaine Gregarious: It is intersting that you would say that, Dr. Zira was just saying the same thing about humans! You know what they say, "Apes are king, but monkeys just fling".

Swinebread: I agree! I've said that myself. If Democrats are such wimps, why don't the Republicans show us the right way to fight. Every soldier that says they are a Democrat should be sent straight home, and put the Republicans in congress on the front lines!

Distributorcap: No, I think that I will put Sleestak in charge of education. He has all of the best comic books.


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