Minister of Science and Chief Protector of the Faith

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Wiener Nation

 

For those that are pro-gun control, consider the ramifications of this story:

Orange County, Fla. - A 28-year-old woman in Orange County stabbed her husband during a fight that sparked over having hot dogs for dinner, according to a sheriff's office report.

Officers said Alfreda Van Bladel apparently had prepared a dinner for her husband, Anton, that consisted of hot dogs.

At some point, the man snatched the plate of hot dogs from his wife's hands, the report said.

The action prompted the woman to stab her husband in the shoulder with a steak knife, according to authorities.

Anton Van Bladel then alleged grabbed a handgun and pointed it at the woman's head and said he was going to kill her.

Both a knife and a handgun were recovered from the couple's home.

The husband and wife were arrested and face several charges in connection with the incident, including aggravated battery and aggravated assault. local6.com

Think about it - If the hot dogs had been armed, they could have protected themselves.
 

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11 Comments:

At Tue Apr 08, 07:55:00 AM, Blogger Randal Graves said...

Obviously all the facts haven't been released to the public, but even if they had been 'armed' with condiment bottles, a squirt of spicy mustard in the eye could have bought them a moment to escape. Thank Jeebus for technology. Imagine having to use a spoon!

 
At Tue Apr 08, 09:30:00 AM, Blogger John J. said...

Stupid question, but why do you need steak knives to eat hot dogs?

 
At Tue Apr 08, 10:02:00 AM, Blogger Dean Wormer said...

Both a knife and a handgun were recovered from the couple's home.

Yes, but did they recover the hot dogs?

 
At Tue Apr 08, 10:10:00 AM, Blogger FranIAm said...

Oh I wish I were an Oscar Meyer Weiner, That is what I'd really like to be!

Oh and if I were an Oscar Meyer Weiner, A Gun would now be shooting free!!!

 
At Tue Apr 08, 10:48:00 AM, Blogger Spirula said...

If the hot dogs had been armed

Which is why I only buy these hot dogs. I think one of the greatest failures of this country is the lack of attention to hot dog safety.

why do you need steak knives to eat hot dogs?

I'd say you're assuming the connoisseurs of said hot dogs possess dentitia. (Although it is an understandable assumption for those not familiar with the native Floridians.)

 
At Tue Apr 08, 07:44:00 PM, Blogger pidomon said...

when hot dogs cant have guns only the buns will have guns

err something like that

 
At Tue Apr 08, 09:19:00 PM, Blogger Madam Z said...

The article failed to mention that one of the "hot dogs" on the plate was actually Anton's penis, which the wife had sliced off with her steak knife while the poor man was napping.

 
At Wed Apr 09, 06:17:00 AM, Blogger Dr. Zaius said...

Randal Graves: I know that hse used a knife, but I think that she should have used a spoon as you said. You want to get every drop! (A squirt of spicy mustard can get you 20 years some states.)

John J.: You don't need a steak knive to eat a hot dog. Clearly the steak knife was premeditated, as were the condiments.

Dean Wormer: Yes! That's exactly what I wanted to know!

FranIAm: You understand my point exactly! If only we could arm all wieners.

Spirula: "I think one of the greatest failures of this country is the lack of attention to hot dog safety."

Yes! If only congress would heed the need of wieners everywhere!

"I'd say you're assuming the connoisseurs of said hot dogs possess dentitia."

Ah! I think you may have solved John J.'s mystery!

Pidomon: "When hot dogs can’t have guns only the buns will have guns!"

Ha! That’s best joke all week!

Madam Z: OK Madam Z, you are definitely scaring me now...

 
At Wed Apr 09, 07:05:00 AM, Blogger Fade said...

Ah, good times. They must not be from Texas. A family Stabbing over a meal's not grounds for arrest.

O, memories= the time my Dad pinned my brothers' hand to the table with a barbecue fork because my bro threw his steak to the dog because it was too done.

(true story)

 
At Wed Apr 09, 07:06:00 AM, Blogger Fade said...

btw- Florida's really gone to the damn dogs, eh? The guilty knowledge of their complicity in the 2000 election eats at them from within!

Plagues are next.

 
At Fri Apr 11, 06:51:00 AM, Blogger Dr. Zaius said...

Fade: I think that a family stabbing at mealtime in Texas is considered the norm. That's what the fingerbowls are for! Ack! Your Dad sounds like a real humanitarian. He didn't want the dog to eat a poorly prepeared meal! He wanted to save that fate for your brother. As far as the Florida election is concerned, I too am concerned by the stoledn elections. I even have a whole section of my blogroll devoted to the subject.

 

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