The Best Way to Review a Television Program, With Zaius Nation

 

Until recently, I have faithfully watched 30 Rock once a week for years.

Now Comedy Central plays two episodes of 30 Rock every weekday!

I love all of the characters on 30 Rock, especially Vice President of East Coast Television and Microwave Oven Programming Jack Donaghy [ 2 ] and the star of The Girlie Show, Jenna Maroney [ 2, 3, 4 ].

One of the greatest things about Comedy Central playing reruns of one of my favorite TV shows is that I can now sing the theme song to 30 Rock to my kitty 10 times a week instead of only once!

While watching television, the most important part of watching any TV series is singing the theme music to your cat, of course. If your cat likes it when you sing the theme music from a TV show to him, then it must be a pretty good show. (This is the secret to finding good television programming!) The greatest things about singing to your cat are:

1. They actually like silly lyrics, as long as the lyrics are about them.
2. They don't care if you have a terrible singing voice.
3. Sometimes they even sing along!

So in keeping with my tradition of singing television theme music to my cat, I've been singing the theme music to 30 Rock to my cat, Captain Nemo:

Ne-Mo
Na-Na-Na-Nemo
Na-Na-Na-Na
(na-na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na-na)
Ne-MO!
Na-Na-Na-Nemo
Na-Na-Na-Na
(brief staccato bass section)
Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Ne-MO!

I only sing the horn section of the 30 Rock music to my cat. I don't sing the staccato string section nor the percussion section during the themes brief introduction because, as we all know, that would be silly.

Sadly, I think that I have seen every episode of 30 Rock at least twice, so I shall have to wait until the show returns to NBC prime time on Thursday, January 12.

In the meantime, Santa brought me the boxed set of all three seasons of Kung Fu!

No, wait... I'm sorry. I meant this boxed set...

So naturally I've been singing the sorrowful and slightly racist theme music to the awesome television show Kung Fu to my cat. The signature of the theme is as follows, which is repeated during the introduction as well as during the ending credits of the show:

Neee-MO-nemo
Nemo nemo-nemo-NE-mo-nemo
Ne-mo-nemo-neee-moo-nemo
nemo-nemo-Ne-ee-MOO!

and then comes the part where Master Kan says, "As quickly as you can, snatch the pebble from my hand...", Which I find is a very appropriate time for a vigorous kitty back rub, followed by a methodical skritching behind the kitty's ears.

What television theme songs have you been singing to your cat?

Fear is the only darkness. All creatures are one with nature. Chi always lasts. Peace is prized above victory. What happens is already written. The wise always remain humble. All creatures have virtues. Leave no place for death to enter. Seek not to contend. Trust, but expect the unexpected.

Accept the ways of others. Is a man's Universe only himself? Not many things... One. Cowardice is wisdom of weakness. The soul only records growth. Undiscerning minds absorb poison. I worship life. Disregard how others see you. Let tears and joy come unplanned. Be nothing and become everything.

We only know good because of evil. Look beyond the letter of the law. Change and find the Truth. Look beyond the surface. Afford such arrogance? Nature is always impartial. Who can defeat himself? Peace lies in the Path. The Beginning of Wisdom Po's words of wisdom