Warning! Really Stupid Valentine's Day Jokes:
Q: What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream?
A: "I’m sweet on you!"
Q: Why do valentines have hearts on them?
A: Because spleens would look pretty gross!
Q: What did one pickle say to the other?
A: "Valentine, you mean a great dill to me!"
Q: What would you get if you crossed a dog with a Valentine's Day card?
A: A card that says, "I love you drool-ly!"
Q: What did one light bulb say to the other?
A: "I love you a whole watt!"
What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day?
What did the Valentine's Day card say to the stamp?
Stick with me and we'll go places!
What did the stamp say to the envelope?
I'm stuck on you.
Who sends a thousand Valentine's Day cards signed, 'Guess Who'?
A divorce lawyer.
What did one snake say to the other snake?
Give me a little hug and a hiss, honey.
What happens when you fall in love with a pastry chef?
You get buttered up.
What would you get if you cross George Bush with the God of love?
A stupid cupid!
Why did the pig give his girlfriend a box of candy?
It was Valenswine's Day!
Do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day?
Sure, they're very scent-imental!
What did the paper clip say to the magnet?
"I find you very attractive."
What did the French chef give his wife for Valentine's Day?
A hug and a quiche!
What did the pencil say to the paper?
"I dot my i's on you!"
Why did the cannibal break up with his girlfriend?
She didn't suit his taste!