"She ran away with it like a hobo with a sweet potato pie."
--on Hilary Clinton's Senate victory "I'd say as ugly as a hog lagoon after a bachelor party."
--on the Virginia Senate race "If you ain't got the yolk, you can't emulsify the Hollandaise."
--on why Sherwood, the mistress-strangler, didn't win "I'm just a four-dollar gopher in a two-dollar pelt."
--Dan rather, on appearing on The Daily Show instead of CBS BartCop