Nancy Pelosi Jokes

"Today Nancy Pelosi became the first woman Speaker of the House. They say this is the furthest anyone in a dress has gotten in Washington since J. Edgar Hoover." --Jay Leno

"Nancy Pelosi said today we've waited 200 years for this. 200 years? How many face lifts has this woman had?" --Jay Leno

"The new Speaker of the House is Nancy Pelosi. She had lunch today with President Bush, but the lunch honestly did not go well. She would not pass him anything he asked for." –David Letterman

"Nancy Pelosi, the likely Speaker of the House, had lunch at the White House Thursday with President Bush. Though, just to rub things in, she left early to have an abortion." --Amy Poehler

"I got to give the president credit. He is trying. He had lunch two days ago with Nancy Pelosi, the new Speaker of the House. And he was trying to find common ground and couldn't come up with anything. Finally he said, 'Your frozen smile looks just like my wife's.'" --Bill Maher

"Did you see last week President Bush and Nancy Pelosi meeting with reporters after their lunch? Boy, you thought Bill and Hillary were good about putting on phony smiles." --Jay Leno

"As a result of this week's election, the new Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, is now the most powerful woman in the country. After hearing this, Oprah Winfrey said, 'Yeah right.'" --Conan O'Brien

A Nancy Pelosi impersonator on Saturday Night Live, on the Democrats' 2006 victory: "You sent this White House a message: That stay the course in Iraq is not a plan; that our healthcare system should serve ordinary citizens, not pharmaceutical compaines; that so-called rough sex can be a necessary and fulfilling adjunct to a healthy sex life, particularly when it involves fantasy role-play scenarios, such as kidnapping or forced interrogation -- provided, of course, that both participants are willing and disease- free, and have agreed on what we call a safe word." Saturday Night Live