Minister of Science and Chief Protector of the Faith

Sunday, January 28, 2007

The President dumps Harris for Bachmann: "Harris too clingy,'" says Bush

It's not custard.

In the aftermath of President Bush's State of the Union address, the biggest news story to develop was the changing of the guard for a very sensitive and confidential position at the White House. taking over the job of White house concubine from Former Florida Rep. Katherine Harris is freshman Minnesota congresswoman Michele Bachmann.

Bachmann raised eyebrows at the state of the union when she used her amorous kung fu grip to steer the President away from the crowd to plant a long wet one on the pleased Commander in Chief.

Many are unaware that Bachmann has met the President before, and has chronicled the meeting on her website:

"I have never been in the Presidential limousine before so I was a little unsure what to do after the president was finished, when the limousine stopped at the custard stand. I wasn't sure if I should exit with the President or get out of my side of the car. Karl Rove told me I would exit out the door on my side after The President steps out and someone would open the door for me and help me clean up. I could not believe I was discussing how the custard stain matched the 'other' stain on my dress with the President of the United States! The Secret Service later gave me the contact information for a good dry cleaner."

Last fall Bachmann made it clear that God had "called" her to run for Congress. Bush has been quoted as saying that Bachmann is indeed "heaven sent," and he intends to remain as faithful to Bachmann as he has been to both his wife, and the American people.

Former Florida Representative and White House "Love Monkey" Katherine Harris remains on cordial terms with the president, despite his allegatition that she was too "clingy," and that he needed more "space" for "personal growth." After recently losing her bid to unseat Democratic Sen. Bill Nelson, Harris has bounced back in her new job as an Amway Distributor.

Via an image from

See All Hat No Cattle for the original Katherine Harris business card joke. The photo of the hand with a business card is from here. the Mary Kay joke goes back a ways.

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At Sun Jan 28, 10:32:00 PM, Blogger Becca said...

You say stained dress and all I can think of is Monica Lewinski. You don't suppose the resident in cheif had any help causing that custard stain or the other one do you?

At Sun Jan 28, 11:56:00 PM, Blogger Dr. Zaius said...

I think that is a big 10-4. Bachmann has now officially taken the place of former Florida Representative and presidential love monkey Katherine Harris. It is unclear who will be fixing elections for the GOP in Florida from now on, though.

At Tue Jan 30, 12:07:00 PM, Anonymous WTF said...

The prediction in Minnesota is that Michele will not have to go the Amway route, but will be able to combine her previous experience as a tax collector and a hot fool for Christ as Assistant Minister at the Pastor Mac Vote Early and Often Church of the What District Are You In?


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