Minister of Science and Chief Protector of the Faith

Friday, November 16, 2007

Select a Candidate Quiz

 
Primary elections are drawing near and some of you have not yet selected your candidate. To help you choose, select the answer below that most closely reflects your values. When you submit your answers, the candidate most aligned with your stand on the issues will be shown.

If you are encountering any difficulties with the Select a Candidate Quiz, Might I suggest that you fill out the Zaius Nation Complaint Form. Thank you, and have a nice day.

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24 Comments:

At Fri Nov 16, 02:28:00 AM, Blogger J.D. said...

I did that seven times with seven different combinations of answers, and THEY ALL CAME OUT YOU!!!!

I'M CALLING YOU OUT, ZAIUS!

 
At Fri Nov 16, 07:33:00 AM, Blogger Germaine Gregarious said...

Strange, I came up with Monkey/Love 5 straight times. I think it might be that hockey woman.

Still, I'm voting for us.

 
At Fri Nov 16, 08:00:00 AM, Blogger Jess Wundrun said...

I was sure I'd get the iSplotchy because I am leaning that way right now (you understand, Dr.) but I got Monkey/Love too.

Is Monkerstein a hacker on top of everything else?

 
At Fri Nov 16, 08:54:00 AM, Blogger Jess Wundrun said...

Hey, I tried it again and I got Phydeaux. He's not even running!!!

 
At Fri Nov 16, 10:06:00 AM, Blogger Evil Spock said...

Does Evil Spock ever come up? Cuz Evil Spock can't run since Evil Spock is too young.

 
At Fri Nov 16, 10:10:00 AM, Blogger Splotchy said...

Your quiz appears to be broken. If you need to port some iSplotchy technology nanobots in to fix your troubled blog, please let me know.

Full disclosure: iSplotchy is poised to be the e-voting machine of choice for the 2008 elections.

 
At Fri Nov 16, 10:10:00 AM, Blogger Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

It keeps coming up Zaius! This quiz is rigged!

 
At Fri Nov 16, 11:20:00 AM, Blogger Freida Bee said...

I guess I'll be voting Zaius/ Gregarious in the upcoming election, since I always do what quizzes such as these tell me to do.

 
At Fri Nov 16, 11:25:00 AM, Blogger Randal Graves said...

Hmm. Methinks I need to put up a "send me money" quiz right quick.

 
At Fri Nov 16, 11:58:00 AM, Blogger Kelly the dog said...

Humm, I guess I'll be voting Zaius.

 
At Fri Nov 16, 03:53:00 PM, Blogger Distributorcap said...

how come I got Laura Bush as my candidate?

 
At Fri Nov 16, 05:56:00 PM, Blogger Sleestak said...

"White House"? You mean the new Hayley House, right?

 
At Fri Nov 16, 06:15:00 PM, Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

I got Zaius/Gregarious, too!

It's Florida all over again!

 
At Fri Nov 16, 08:08:00 PM, Blogger FranIAm said...

I tried this so many times and that photo of me in a bikini kept popping up! WTF man?

 
At Sat Nov 17, 12:24:00 AM, Blogger BAC said...

I'm voting for Fran ... never could pass up a woman in a bikini!


BAC

 
At Sat Nov 17, 08:04:00 AM, Blogger Dr. Zaius said...

J.D.: If you are encountering any difficulties with the Select a Candidate Quiz, Might I suggest that you fill out the Zaius Nation Complaint Form. Thank you, and have a nice day.

Germaine Gregarious: You poor thing! Watch out for women with bearing hockey sticks. You know what they say about Peppermint Patty.

Jess Wundrun: Hacker? no. Hackneyed, yes.

Jess Wundrun: If you are encountering any difficulties with the Select a Candidate Quiz, Might I suggest that you fill out the Zaius Nation Complaint Form. Thank you, and have a nice day.

Evil Spock: Evil Spock should run anyway, just for practice.

Splotchy: I had some of those iSplotchy nanobits for breakfast this morning. I must admit that I enjoy Captain Crunch better. They both taste like cardboard, but Captain Crunch has more sugar on it.

Dr. Monkerstein: If you are encountering any difficulties with the Select a Candidate Quiz, Might I suggest that you fill out the Zaius Nation Complaint Form. Thank you, and have a nice day.

Freida Bee: Yay! you are very wise, for a human.

Randal Graves: That's a very good idea...

Kelly the dog: Yay! You make me very happy.

Distributorcap: Bad Karma?

Sleestak: Ack! You befoul and besmirch the good name of Hayley Mills, you reptilian stalker!

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator: Yay! you get the joke!

FranIAm: I think that means that you should run for president. You have already been almost nominated.

BAC: I have the same problem. Not only for women in bikinis, but for choclate cake too!

 
At Sat Nov 17, 09:53:00 AM, Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

I think that your complaint form is broken, too.

 
At Sat Nov 17, 10:25:00 AM, Anonymous mwb - Dr. Smith said...

The fact that I get a reply of "Spank Me Harder Buttercup!"

provides a disturbing insight into the fetishes of Dr. Zaius.

Besides, everyone knows that Buttercup is secretly a submissive...

 
At Sat Nov 17, 04:37:00 PM, Anonymous Dee Loralei said...

My heart has always belonged in the DrZ camp. I'm sooooooo grateful that this nifty test reaffirmed my beliefs in the good Dr and Ms Gregarious.

I do have 2 questions though, why would sending frogs to mars be a waste of taxpayer monies? "Frogs from Mars" may be a garage band name looking for a garage band.

And, Note to Marsha Brady : Honey, whilst I can respect and admire your obvious attempt to humanize Dr Smith by having him join the Sunflower Girls, I'm thinking the idea has creepfest written all over it. He skeered the bejebus outta me as a young and impressionable girl. And I think having him join would give tacit approval for whatever perverted and peurile things he might get up to around the campfire in between choruses of Kumbaya and the S'mores.

(Or something like that :-P)

And ok, one question and one observation.

Go Zaius/ Gregarious!

 
At Sun Nov 18, 08:49:00 AM, Blogger Dr. Zaius said...

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator: I dont think so. All of the responses from the complaint form read "I love Zaius Nation. I have no complaints." Everything must be just fine!

MWB - Dr. Smith: OK, I'll bite. Who the heck is Buttercup?

Dee Loralei: It's so good to hear from another loyal Zaius/Gregarious supporter! There is good reason to think that sending frogs to Mars is a waste of taxpayers dollars. The frog in question is Samurai Frog, the Evil Dr. Monkerstein's former campaign manager. He has gone to Mars to sell out the planet to little green men.

As far as Dr. Smith and Marcia Brady, I think that Germaine Gregarious has everything well in hand!

Thank you for your support!

 
At Sun Nov 18, 06:55:00 PM, Blogger Blue Gal said...

we're using the Dana Perino tonight at the round up. Is that vote enough for you?

 
At Mon Nov 19, 05:52:00 AM, Blogger Dr. Zaius said...

Yay! Blue Gal is pro-simian! The troops have arrived!

 
At Mon Nov 19, 08:16:00 AM, Anonymous mwb - Dr. Smith said...

Dr Zaius: OK, I'll bite. Who the heck is Buttercup?

Only the coolest superhero ever!

 
At Mon Nov 19, 09:00:00 AM, Blogger Dr. Zaius said...

Hmmm... I like Bubbles and Blossom too...

 

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