Minister of Science and Chief Protector of the Faith

Friday, March 07, 2008

Monster Squad


Samantha Power was a foreign affairs advisor to Barack Obama until making negative remarks about Hillary Clinton (including calling her a "monster") in an interview with The Scotsman. Power apologized for the remarks and resigned soon after.

In the interview she was quoted as saying: "We fucked up in Ohio. In Ohio, they are obsessed and Hillary is going to town on it, because she knows Ohio's the only place they can win". "She is a monster, too -- that is off the record -- she is stooping to anything...You just look at her and think, 'Ergh.' But if you are poor and she is telling you some story about how Obama is going to take your job away, maybe it will be more effective. The amount of deceit she has put forward is really unattractive." Power apologized for the remarks that night, saying that they "do not reflect my feelings about Sen. Clinton, whose leadership and public service I have long admired." In the wake of reaction to the remarks, she resigned from the campaign the next day. Wikipedia

Of course Hillary Clinton is not a monster, but if Barack Obama ran his campaign more like hers, it might sound something like this:

"You don't believe that Senator Clinton's a monster?" Kroft asked Sen. Obama.

"Of course not. I mean, that, you know, there is no basis for that. I take her on the basis of what she says. And, you know, there isn't any reason to doubt that," he replied.

"You said you'd take Senator Clinton at his word that she's not... a monster. You don't believe that he's...," Kroft said.

"No. No, there is nothing to base that on. As far as I know," she said.

With apologies to Jess Wundren.

Clinton's path to the nomination, then, involves the following steps: kneecap an eloquent, inspiring, reform-minded young leader who happens to be the first serious African American presidential candidate (meanwhile cementing her own reputation for Nixonian ruthlessness) and then win a contested convention by persuading party elites to override the results at the polls. The plan may also involve trying to seat the Michigan and Florida delegations, after having explicitly agreed that the results would not count toward delegate totals. Oh, and her campaign has periodically hinted that some of Obama's elected delegates might break off and support her. I don't think she'd be in a position to defeat Hitler's dog in November, let alone a popular war hero. The New Republic, via Oliver Willis

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At Fri Mar 07, 10:34:00 PM, Blogger Dean Wormer said...

Isn't her middle name Rodan?

At Fri Mar 07, 11:42:00 PM, Blogger John J. said...

Thanks for the laugh, I needed that after DCap's most recent post.

At Sat Mar 08, 03:35:00 AM, Blogger darkblack said...

Not a monster? Perhaps...But that fine rendition of yours leaves one suspecting a touch of lusus naturae under the collar bolts.


At Sat Mar 08, 11:15:00 AM, Blogger Distributorcap said...

i knew monsters leave a scorched earth in their wake.....

i guess she figures she ruffles it up a bit and she either gets the nomination or gets a cabinet post in mccains adminstration with lieberman

At Sat Mar 08, 02:56:00 PM, Blogger skippy said...

in other news, igor resigns after calling frankenstein 'hillary clinton'...

At Sat Mar 08, 04:47:00 PM, Blogger Comrade Kevin said...

Let's triangulate our kneecapping!

At Sat Mar 08, 11:42:00 PM, Blogger USpace said...

Firing Powers was a mistake, Obama has shown himself to be subservient to the PIAPS.
Great post. Obama’s aide was right. Hillary is a monster. Of course not the same kind of monster as Hitler, Mao or Stalin, but a monster nonetheless.
absurd thought -
God of the Universe says
don't call monsters monsters

never expose their evil
never upset a monster

absurd thought -
God of the Universe says
claim to care for people

call yourself progressive
your policies hurt poor folk

absurd thought -
God of the Universe says
elect women presidents

who cover for their husbands
who rape other women

if you’re MAD
punish your country
VOTE for Hillary


Go here and watch ‘The Hillary Show’ with Howard Dean. It’s Hillarious!


At Sun Mar 09, 10:47:00 AM, Blogger Swinebread said...

That is so dam funny.

Hillary is a monster, but in the Halloween sense...

At Sun Mar 09, 11:58:00 AM, Blogger Dr. Zaius said...

Dean Wormer: Your right! That explains her leathery wings and immense size!

John J.: I went and read DCap's post as you suggested. That is horrifying.

Darkblack: I agree. I try to wash comb my lusus naturae twice a day!

Distributorcap: It's freaking ridiculous what is going on in this race. Every day is like another Easter egg of horror.

Skippy: Ack! That would be insulting!

Comrade Kevin: Hee hee! Just like grade school!

USpace: Great poem! thanks for the link.

Swinebread: I agree! But she seems to be all about the trick, and very few treats...

At Mon Mar 10, 11:18:00 AM, Blogger mwb said...

"middle name Rodan"

Hey, no defaming Rodan here by comparing him to a politician!

If Hillary is a monster, then the standards for being a monster have gotten mighty low.

Or is this some sort of Affirmative Action thing?

At Tue Mar 11, 06:31:00 AM, Blogger Dr. Zaius said...

If Obama isn't black enough, does that mean Hillary isn't women enough?


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