Minister of Science and Chief Protector of the Faith

Monday, June 23, 2008

The Latest News From the Monkerstein Campaign...


Good news, boys and girls! In light of the overwhelming results of recent poll numbers, the evil Dr. Monkerstein has decided to suspend his campaign! (You can watch a video of his campaign speech by clicking here.)

There has been no word as of yet whether his running mate, GETkristiLOVE, shall continue her work by becoming part of a different presidential campaign or if she shall change strategies and enter into the corporate sector...

...Dr. Monkerstein has vowed to continue acting as a surrogate for all of those that have helped him in the past...

...And there is still some question as to what he shall do about his staggering campaign debt....

But he wants to thank all of his supporters, and let them know exactly how he feels!

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At Mon Jun 23, 10:40:00 AM, Blogger dguzman said...

Mudslinger! Why would you kick a monkey when he's down? For shame, Dr. Zaius, for shame!

At Mon Jun 23, 11:06:00 AM, Blogger Unconventional Conventionist said...

Hah! I have always leaned simian, and I promised to formally endorse you Zaius.

But I'm glad I waited - I see your true monkey colors!

I shall still endorse you, but it will be accompanied by a Sternly Worded Letter. The actual bananas I have will go to Monkerstein.

A disappointed voter.

At Mon Jun 23, 01:14:00 PM, Blogger Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Your lies will follow you to the grave Zaius. I remain pure as the driven snow while you are a mud slinging gorilla!

Go Obama!

At Mon Jun 23, 01:34:00 PM, Blogger Swinebread said...

Nothing like going out in style

At Mon Jun 23, 01:52:00 PM, Blogger GETkristiLOVE said...

The LGPPP is training me to be a lingerie terrorist, so you haven't seen the last of me!

At Mon Jun 23, 09:22:00 PM, Blogger FranIAm said...

Goddam! I was looking high and low for that damn t-shirt. I wanted to wear it to church on Sunday.

That Monkerstein stole it from me!

The nerve!!!

At Mon Jun 23, 11:20:00 PM, Blogger darkblack said...

'And there is still some question as to what he shall do about his staggering campaign debt....'

Remember, Ape shall never bill ape.


At Tue Jun 24, 06:00:00 AM, Blogger Dr. Zaius said...

Dguzman: You know the old saying: Never hit a man when he's down, kick him - it's easier! ;o)

Unconventional Conventionist: Why thank you! Sternly Worded Letters are my favorite.

Dr. Monkerstein: Pure as the driven snow? There is no need to bring you cocaine habit into this, my good doctor.

Swinebread: Indeed! And this is nothing like that.

GETkristiLOVE: Yay! I shall contact Germaine Gregarious forthwith! I am sure that she is looking for an able-bodied recruit with your talents.

FranIAm: You poor thing. Merely more evidence of his monkey depravity.

Darkblack: Ha! What a great line! I promise to steal it.

At Tue Jun 24, 12:35:00 PM, Blogger mwb said...

But the fix was supposed to be he becomes President and then when all the crap from the administration under President Bush causes the collapse of the economy once Dr M was President. Dr M. takes the blame and is discredited in shame - leaving us other candidates to swoop in on the wreckage of Administration as reformers.

Whoops, my mistake looks like Karl Rove left his notes at my place again.

At Thu Jun 26, 12:07:00 PM, Blogger Dr. Zaius said...

Ah! Learning from the master, I see. Neil Cavuto would be proud!

At Fri Jun 27, 04:26:00 PM, Blogger Utah Savage said...

Dear Doctor, I ususally say, "What Randal said, but today I say proudly, "What Swinebread said." Somehow saying Swinebread leaves a lovely taste in your mouth. I shall have to say that more often.


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