Minister of Science and Chief Protector of the Faith

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

My Friend George Sent Me This


If you grow up in Hawaii, raised by your grandparents, you're exotic alien and different. But if you grow up eating mooseburgers and shooting elk, you're a quintessential American story.

If your parents named you Barack, you're a radical, unpatriotic Muslim. If you name your kids Willow, Trig and Track, you're a loveable maverick.

If you graduate from Harvard Law School, you are elitist. Attend 5 different small colleges before graduating, you're well grounded.

If you spend 3 years as a community organizer, become the first black President of the Harvard Law Review, create a voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new voters, spend 12 years as a Constitutional Law professor, spend 8 years as a State Senator representing a district with over 750,000 people, become chairman of the state Senate's Health and Human Services committee, spend 4 years in the United States Senate representing a state of 13 million people while sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works and Veteran's Affairs committees, you don't have any real leadership experience. If your total resume is: local weather girl, 4 years on the city council and 6 years as the mayor of a town with less than 7,000 people, 20 months as the governor of a state with only 650,000 people, you're qualified to become the country's second highest ranking executive.

If you have been married to the same woman for 19 years while raising a family, you're not a real Christian. If you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, and left your disfigured wife and married the heiress the next month, you're a Christian.

If you teach responsible, age appropriate sex education, including the proper use of birth control, you are irresponsibly eroding the fiber of society. If, while governor, you staunchly advocate abstinence only, with no other option in sex education in your state's school system while your unwed teen daughter ends up pregnant, you're very responsible.

If your wife is a Harvard graduate lawyer who gave up a position in a prestigious law firm to work for the betterment of her inner city community, then gave that up to raise a family, your family's values don't represent America's values. If your husband is nicknamed "First Dude", with at least one DWI conviction and no college education, who didn't register to vote until age 25 and once was a member of a group that advocated the secession of Alaska from the USA, your family is extremely admirable.

OK, much clearer now.

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At Tue Sep 23, 12:36:00 PM, Blogger Jess Wundrun said...

I am so tempted to send that to every jackass that sends me the muslim e-mails.


At Tue Sep 23, 01:46:00 PM, Blogger Randal Graves said...

Misogynist. No, wait, racist. No, wait, what?

Oh, just vote for the old white guy. They've never steered us wrong before!

At Tue Sep 23, 03:10:00 PM, Blogger MichaelBains said...

LOL! @ RG!

Someone sent me that same email and I posted as well.

'Merica #1!!!


At Tue Sep 23, 04:14:00 PM, Blogger Übermilf said...

I've seen that email before, and I'm shocked... SHOCKED that the writer would suggest that Republicans are hypocrites.

At Tue Sep 23, 09:26:00 PM, Blogger pidomon said...

when you spell it out like that I am compelled to vote for McSame

At Wed Sep 24, 09:48:00 AM, Blogger Dr. Zaius said...

Jess Wundrun: Ha! That's a great idea!

Randal Graves: McCain is comfortable like a worn out shoe, only much smellier!

MichaelBains: Yeah! We're number one! :o)

Übermilf: I think that it is more than a suggestion, my dear!

Pidomon: Ack! No! I take it back!

At Thu Sep 25, 12:52:00 PM, Blogger Unconventional Conventionist said...

I've received that email 3x this week too! Good to know it's getting around.


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