Minister of Science and Chief Protector of the Faith

Friday, April 10, 2009

What Easter is Really About...

I have my own own unique opinion of god. I think that mankind made a fundamental error when he created a differentiation between the words "god" and "universe". all of man's confusion on the subject of religion could be cleared up if we removed the bias that the usage of two different words for the same subject has caused. If there was only one word for god and the universe, then nobody would argue about it.

Think about it. Scientists, philosophers and theologians would all be studying the same thing! All dogma would be erased because our concept of god would not be separate from the universe. It would all be one concept. If there were not two different words to differentiate between the two ideas, you wouldn't be able to argue about it. There wouldn't be any words to use.

And instead of telling our chidren horror stories about the Holy Church of the Gooey Death and the Zombie Resurrection, we would instead concentrate on the philosophy that Jesus and other religious leaders have preached about how it is probably not really a good idea to spend your life being an asshole.

And then we could all concentrate on what Easter should really be about...


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At Fri Apr 10, 04:51:00 PM, Blogger Tengrain said...

I'm with you, Zaius!

Sign me up!



At Fri Apr 10, 05:52:00 PM, Blogger Bubs said...


Don't forget flowers. Even here in the harsh midwest, the daffodils and crocuses are up now.

At Fri Apr 10, 07:25:00 PM, Blogger Darius Whiteplume said...

"Universe bless us, every one!"

At Fri Apr 10, 08:57:00 PM, Blogger Utah Savage said...

Bunnies and candy. And Einstein as the Pope. I love your universe Dr Zaius.

At Sat Apr 11, 03:27:00 AM, Blogger TF said...

I like your interpretation...
it's a utopia. but nice all the same.
Is your view is similar to that of Spencer, who thought that religion and science are essentially the same thing, the same desire to know truth, but seen from different points of view?

If that's the case I can't say I agree, but it's an interesting view.
I'm more convinced of the fact that religion was primitive's man first attempt to answer questions he couldn't rationally. With the advancement of science, it has long since become an outdated concept.
The concept of philanthropy and solidarity existed waaaaay before Jesus and were born not of spiritualism per se, but rather philosophy (science's grandfather).

But then again I'm so tired of discussing this sort of thing. I get enough flack at school for my views... hope I haven't offended anyone.
I've probably spoiled teh funny too.

Lovely photoshopping as usual :-D

At Sat Apr 11, 09:02:00 AM, Blogger Randal Graves said...

Stop spreading your propaganda, Zaius. Everyone knows that Easter is really about your cohorts, the zombie bunnies who trick us into a false sense of security with their tasty and purple sugar treats.

I'm on to you! And I've got weapons! Second amendment! Semper Fi!

At Sat Apr 11, 11:52:00 AM, Blogger Freida Bee, MD said...

Perhaps the "Fall of Man" symbolized in the myth of Adam and Eve is about this very distinction language started to make, an idea of ourselves being separate from a source, the life cycle, the universe, God, pea soup- what have you (and in some religions- above it).

It's all about language..., oh, and bunnies, of course.

I miss my Scruffy who used to lick my eyelids in my sleep- a sensation like no other. Divine, indeed.

At Sat Apr 11, 05:05:00 PM, Blogger Fantastic Forrest said...


This explains a lot.

Please don't tell my mother I said that.

At Sat Apr 11, 08:59:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

We are so concerned with the 'God problem' when we haven't solved the more immediate 'human problem'.

At Sun Apr 12, 10:48:00 AM, Blogger Dr. Zaius said...

Tengrain: Yay! Another rube! ;o)

Thanks, Tengrain. :o)

Bubs: Of course there must be flowers! The bunnies have to eat something.

Darius Whiteplume: Even Scrooge would learn science by the end of this story. ;o)

Utah Savage: Thanks, Utah Savage! Without bunnies and candy, what else is there, really?

TF: Hmm... To a world leader and spiritual leader from the future like me, religion and science are indeed the same thing. In the eyes of the great Lawgiver, all things are as they should be when the truth is what you want it to be. On the other hand, bunnies are really cool! Thanks, TF!

Randal Graves: Ah, Randal - YOu see a conspiracy around every corner. What you need is a tasty, purple Peep Cthulhu with lots of sugar to calm your nerves...

Freida Bee, MD: The primordial pea soup could use a few more crackers if you ask me. I had a pet bunny too. Aren't they great? :o)

Fantastic Forrest: Thanks, Fantastic Forrest! I promise not to tell you Mom. ;o)

Jang-chub Ozer: My sentiments exactly! The sooner we are rid of mankind, the better! ;o)

At Sun Apr 12, 12:45:00 PM, Blogger Michael Hart said...

"If there was only one word for god and the universe, then nobody would argue about it."

Oh yes they, er, I would.

Scientists, philosophers, and theologians are all studying the same thing, but there are three distinct elements in universal reality: fact, idea, and relation— or— thing, meaning, and value.
The religious identify these realities as science, philosophy, and truth. Philosophers tend to view them as reason, wisdom,
and faith— physical reality, intellectual reality, and spiritual reality.

The full summation of human life then, is the knowledge that man is educated by fact, ennobled by wisdom, and saved—justified— by religious faith.

Whoa. I think I've had too much chocolatey goodness already.

At Sun Apr 12, 07:50:00 PM, Blogger Lisa said...

Yes. Yes. AAAAAnd yes. And then I got really distracted by the cute widdle bunny.

At Mon Apr 13, 08:03:00 AM, Blogger Kulkuri said...

A new take on Zombies, Nice!!

What about the little chickies??

At Mon Apr 13, 04:22:00 PM, Blogger Übermilf said...

If you think mankind will ever stop arguing about anything, you obviously have never played Hearts with my family.

At Mon Apr 13, 05:36:00 PM, Blogger Comrade Kevin said...

And next we will all learn Esperanto.

At Mon Apr 13, 07:37:00 PM, Blogger Batocchio said...

A zombie Jesus and bunnies! All it needs is chocolate, and you'll have converts!

At Mon Apr 13, 09:00:00 PM, Blogger BAC said...

I love this ... and I really love the cute little bunny!!


At Tue Apr 14, 10:58:00 AM, Blogger Dean Wormer said...

Cutest bunny EVAR!

At Tue Apr 14, 08:12:00 PM, Blogger Rehctaw said...

Tasty bunnies. Yum.

Trick or treat!

At Wed Apr 15, 07:17:00 AM, Blogger Dr. Zaius said...

Michael Hart: "The full summation of human life then, is the knowledge that man is educated by fact, ennobled by wisdom, and saved — justified — by religious faith."Not just by religious faith - but by chocolate cake and ice cream!

And you can't have too much chocolatey goodness. It's not possible.

Lisa: I love that picture! That bunny is the same color and my bunny was.

Kulkuri: Ah, baby chicks are nice, but they are not bunnies! ;o)

Übermilf: Indeed! You must explain your family's conflict with card games...

Comrade Kevin: You don't really learn Esperanto - you live it!

Batocchio: I agree! All great religious movements are based on chocolate. :o)

BAC: I love that bunny picture too. That bunny is the same color and my bunny was! :o)

Dean Wormer: Yes! And it looks like he is clapping!

Rehctaw: Smell my feet, give me something good to eat!

At Wed Apr 15, 04:15:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

My SIL has the Ten Commandments taped to her back door, and we were talking about them on Easter. The first 3 could be summed up this way
1. It's all about Me.
2. It's still about Me.
3. Did you hear me say it was about Me?
4-10. don't be an asshole.


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