Minister of Science and Chief Protector of the Faith

Thursday, March 24, 2011

You Can't Teach People to be Lazy - Either They Have It, or They Don't.

I was perusing a recent article, "States With the Most Couch Potatoes," and I was shocked to find that my own state was not amongst those five that were deemed the most physically inactive. According to the article, the least physically active states are Tennessee, Louisiana, Mississippi, Kentucky, Alabama, and North Carolina.

I felt cheated. Certainly my state should be on that list. I live in one of the nine states that has a prevalence of obesity equal to or greater than 30%, fer crying out loud!

I knew that my state is literally lousy with loafing, lethargic layabouts - but how could I prove it? I quickly rifled through the article's source material, State Indicator Report on Physical Activity - and upon reading the graph on page 14, my heart sank as I realized that my own state fell just about dead center in the category of physically active adults. I knew this couldn't be right. I felt that a great injustice had been done by this article!

And then I found the author's oversight... The source that the article cited lists more than one category of lazy, languid loafing! Whereas my state surprisingly seems almost halfway energetic in the category of physically active adults, we almost make it to the top 10 in the category of people that have no leisure-time physical activity! And that's a category that I can wholeheartedly say that I support 100%. Sometimes I am so inert, torpid and full of chocolate that I veritably hover between blindly stuporous and a persistant vegetative state!

Feeling somewhat vindicated by my scientific findings, I have created a a graph that displays these results side by side so that you can look up the the languid reputation of your own state. Click here to find out how shiftless and unenergetic your state is!

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At Mon Apr 11, 09:54:00 PM, Blogger ThoughtCriminal said...

Since I was raised on southern cooking, I have some idea about how this happens.

At Fri Apr 15, 07:33:00 PM, Blogger Dr. Zaius said...

Indeed! I always complain that I am "big boned," but I don't think anybody falls for that one any more. ;o)

At Sat May 07, 11:47:00 AM, Blogger Seeing Eye Chick said...

I always hated that saying, Big Boned. I really am Big Boned, esp for a female. And that is not the same as being fat. That being said, those states also have shit for public transportation and few or no sidewalks. So getting around in anything other than a car is sometimes down right dangerous if there are no shoulders and leash laws are not enforced. Southern Cooking does not help either. Note to self: You do not actually *NEED to fry your cupcakes, twinkies, icecream, or peanut butter banana sandwhiches covered in maple syrup.

At Tue Sep 01, 03:24:00 AM, Blogger Abdi Sukur said...

Jika Anda telah terinfeksi penyakit ini, maka anda akan memiliki banyak pilihan untuk menyingkirkan mereka. Yang terpenting anda tidak perlu malu jika sedang mengidap penyakit ini, karena hal itu justru akan membuat anda lambat menyembuhkanya.
Obat Kutil Kelamin,
Obat Kutil Kelamin Wanita,
Tanda-Tanda Kutil Kelamin Condyloma Acuminata Di Bibir Memek,
Cara Menghilangkan Kutil Di Kemaluan
Obat Menghilangkan Kutil Di Bibir Vagina

At Tue Sep 01, 01:43:00 PM, Blogger Yusrisal Herbal said...

Disini kami menjual Obat wasir Ambeclear Ampuh dan Obat Kencing Nanah dijamin dalam waktu 3 hari penyakit anda sudah sembuh dan obat kami sudah terdaftar di BPOM
Obat Wasir
Obat Ambeien
Obat Wasir Ambeien Berdarah
Obat Kencing Nanah
Obat Kencing Nanah Di Apotik
Obat Kencing Nanah Pria
Obat Kencing Nanah Wanita


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