Breaking News: JonBenet Suspect Breakfast Menu!

Fox News Exclusive: "JonBenet Suspect Awarded
Medal of Freedom by Grateful President"

In a surprise move by the President, JonBenet Suspect John Mark Karr was Awarded the Medal of Freedom in a quiet ceremony at the White House this morning. During the ceremony, President Bush was quoted as saying: "Thanks for taking the heat off of me and my administration, young man. You let me know if Homeland Security or I can do any thing else for you." When questioned about the abruptness of this unscheduled award ceremony, Bush stated that Karr had done a great service for the United States, and that the president was very grateful for the "much needed respite from the media" caused by Karr.