Minister of Science and Chief Protector of the Faith

Monday, January 15, 2007

Rumsfeld to retire to his boyhood home, Castle Dracula

The League of Extraordinary Rich White Gentlemen honor Vlad in super-secret ceremony

Donald Rumsfeld has bought his ancestral home back from the Romanian government, and shall retire there. The retirement home is called Castle Dracula, and was Rumsfeld's boyhood home. "I used to be called Vlad the Impaler back in the day, but those days are long gone." Rumsfeld said. "I'm a respected government official now."

Since 2001, Donald Rumsfeld was the 21st Secretary of Defense of the United States. There are rumors that he will return the service of the military as an official government taster of captured Iraqi Insurgents. There are no forthcoming explanations as to what his duties may include.

$78 million dollar price tag was no problem for Rumsfeld, as he has financial interests in several worldwide pharmaceutical companies. "And there is still a lot of money coming in from Haliburton, don't forget!" Rumsfeld said.

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Zaius Nation: The League of Extraordinary Rich White Gentlemen honor Vlad in super-secret ceremony

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