Captions and Kool-Aid

Why aren't there any purity balls for guys?

On C-SPAN2, I saw Minority Whip Roy Blunt ask Majority Leader Steny Hoyer ask for this coming Friday off so that he can find a new escort service spend extra time with his mother for Mother's Day. Hoyer gently explained that the business of house would have to be completed before time could be taken off for personal business. It is just heartening for me to see Rep. Blunt come to Rep. Hoyer, cap in hand, asking for time off - like a teenager trying to get out of mowing the lawn. Oh, my stars and garters... New simain on the block Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein has Scooping Vanity Fair, and posted excerpts from Ronald Reagan's Diaries that are hitherto unknown. Caution, the former First Lady wearing yellow latex gloves and a disturbing Charleton Heston shower scene are mentioned in some degree of detail. You have been warned. (Not safe for beverages.) Speaking of new blogs, Becca over at No Smoking in the Skull Cave has started a new blog, Wink Studios Photography. There you will find photograph taken by Becca of her first model, **Evangeline.** There is even a picture of a storm trooper on a dinosaur. Go check it out! The Amazing Samurai Frog gives a unique interpretation of the classic 70s Disney film, "The Barefoot Executive." Here is an excellent article about the intelligence of simians! I do take umbrage at the title though - "Almost Human, and Sometimes Smarter." What do they mean sometimes? Via Infidel753. Animator Marco Spitoni envisioned an alternate history where the World War II Allies are attacked by a Giant Nazi Robot. The resulting short film, "C.O.D.E. Guardian," is fantastic! Via Oliver Willis. Also under the category of World War Two-erific, Cartoons from the Third Reich and Uncle Adolf & the Sexi Nazi Girls. Speaking of giant robots, here is the story of the greatest Autobot that ever lived! I'm not filking around here! It's the "The Ballad Of Optimus Prime", via Evil Spock. OMG, I missed this one. Ali G got Pat Buchanan to discuss the threat of BLTs - as in Saddam Hussain using BLTs on the Kurds. With extra mayo! Ali G is a genius. It is actually quite amazing how similar the Koozebanian mating ritual is to that of earthlings. The Koozebanian Mating Ritual from the The Muppet Show. The latest art craze, Paintings of descriptions of paintings. Soon we will have painting of the price tags of paintings. Freaking awsome! Demotivational Posters over at Dark Roasted Blend. I'm feeling more demotivated than ever! He is not evil, boys and girls, just misunderstood. More sightings of Cthulhu, via Infidel753. The only thing you need to know about my relationship with April Dancer, the Girl From U.N.C.L.E. is on a need to know basis, got it? (Theme music: @ [4:23]) My friend George sent me this video, "Spermatozoides." It's a European ad, see if you can guess what the product is that they are selling. A doll that will fill all of your misery needs, the Precious Miseries Lil' Ragdoll Plush Doll. "She's Raggedy, But Not Ann. A classic plush doll like Precious Miseries Lil' Ragdoll Plush Doll-- she's made from a variety of exciting colors, oddly placed buttons, and a moth on a leash." ( ! ) "Now this is a toy with character! The doll is described further, Misery loves company, especially yours!" (your company, or your misery?) "Meet Lil' Ragdoll who is shy and quiet, and cares for the unwanted at the Precious Miseries Manor." So creepy, I love it! If I had a daughter, I would want her to have her very own suicide-prone doll right away! Keep it away from razor blades and prescription drugs, though. The wonders of Google. Samurai Frog is always using those big words! So I looked up one of his words on Google, and I found out that the word "fantasma" means a silent film about a naked woman doing origami. I'm not sure what the llama has to do with it, though. I don't know why, but I love fake food. In the same category, Meat Rugs. Yes, Meat Rugs. You have to see it to believe it. Here are two cool title sequences by Saul Bass, "Anatomy of a Murder" and "It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World." via PidgeonBlog. They Wear Their Underpants on the Outside Oh, how the mighty have fallen... Captain America was arrested with a twinkle in his eye and a burrito in pants, and after he had such a nice memorial. As if you can believe what Lex Luthor writes on a box! Scientist claim that the have discovered Kryptonite without the help of Oliver Willis. Becca over at No Smoking in the Skull Cave found the trailer of Joss Whedon's now failed "Wonder Woman." Sometimes a movie is so bad it's good. This isn't one of them. Everyone was talking about the grey Iron Man suit a while back, but Samurai Frog posted the first picture of the modern Iron Man armor that I saw. I don't care if the film's plot sucks at this point, the special effects already look good enough for the price of admission. Tony Stark, I hope that you are not affiliated with Halliburton! Hillary, Obama, Edwards and Gore obtain SuperDuperPowers. [ 2 ] It's a very nice little cartoon, but I take issue with their mischaracterization of Hilary Clinton as Wonder Woman. The only woman that can handle the golden lasso is Speaker Nancy Pelosi, of course. Love and Affection, Comic Book Style! "Manic, misogynistic, obsessive and depressive random panels from romance and Silver Age comic books." From Sleestak of Lady, That's My Skull. SallyP of Windsor Locks, Connecticut, is a middle-aged suburban housewife with a thing for Green Lantern's Butt. I used to ride a skateboard in high school, so is was heartened to find out that Supergirl is a thrasher. Every Day Is Like Wednesday has posted a great Wonder Women Rogue's Gallery. Another peepst-eration that I forgot to report, a belated Happy Easter from the Legion of Super-Peeps. And Now For a Brief Musical Interlude Samurai Frog shares my interest in Madness, and has made a YouTube of list of their hits. He found videos for 13 of their first 15 singles. Alanis Morissette's version of "My Humps" video is an experiment in parody genius, in my humble opinion. Sheryl Crow say that she is on a Stop Global Warming Tour with Laurie David right now. Watching her new video, "Soak Up The Sun," you have to ask yourself, who is she kidding? I get all hot and bothered just watching the video. Yes, I am so ancient that I remember when this song first came out, Joe Jackson sings Steppin' Out. Yippee Kay Yaaaaaayyyy! This is a great video. It's a song all about the film "Die Hard" by Guyz Nite. I thought I was going to hate it, but it's actually really funny! Via Kung Fu Monkey. Even funnier than it sounds, "Star Trek Meets Monty Python." Via No Smoking in the Skull Cave. Take some time to listen to Don't Worry, Be Happy on a theremin. Is it annoying? You Betcha! But it's a theremin. The finer points of the 2006 World Cup soccer thingie, with a great soundtrack of Elvis Presley singing "A Little Less Conversation." This is a song for the ages, "everything's run by Pelosi" from the great comedy site, The Capitol Steps - Live!. Check out the site! They have lots of great songs. Via Skippy the Bush Kangaroo. The Three Stooges sing "The Alphabet Song," via News From Me. Damn the Man Department "Protest at Senate turns to Arrests: 14 people were arrested in the Hart Senate Office Building, for unlawful assembly while protesting to stop the war in Iraq and calling for impeachment." Via Blue Gal. The Omnipotent Poobah has graced us with a fantastic post about ourselves, "Americans Are Such Slow Learners." After reading this site, you are not only educated - you are Poobah-fied! Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein has met with Dennis Kucinich in Asheville, NC. He relates his tale in a post called "My evening with Dennis." OMG, The Quaker Agitator has just posted a horrifying story, "What's wrong with this picture?" Acting on top-down control from their parents, kids are exercising concertive control on their peers. Their message? If you are a Korean student, then you are going to kill us. Gee, how cute, they are just like little adults. This story is 1984 scary. President Bush shakes his groove thang by participating in a Rose Garden ceremony featuring Senegalese performers from the West African Dance Company to help mark Malaria Awareness Day. Here are some pictures, and here are a few more picture from the Democratic Underground message board. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! ...(stop for breath, *pant pant*) Hot Air's Michelle Malkin actually thinks that this cheerleading video helps her wretched cause! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! OMG, that is too funny! Crooks and Liars brings us Bill Maher on Monica Goodling and the Bush administration for appointing more than 150 graduates of a tier 4 law school to a prominent position in the US government. John McCain thinks that singing "Bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb Iran" is entirely appropriate for a presidential candidate to sing. I am sure that his administration will get their foreign policy from a comic book. Check out the original "Barbara Ann." See? McCain is even off key! Read 'em and weep. "President Bush has quietly claimed the authority to disobey more than 750 laws enacted since he took office, asserting that he has the power to set aside any statute passed by Congress when it conflicts with his interpretation of the Constitution." Boston.com. Battle of the titans: Stephen Colbert and Sean Penn square off in a "Meta-Free-Phor-All." The laugh or cry deparment, Fox News Sinks To New Low, Repeatedly Reports Parody Story As Actual News. No, it's not the first time making a fool of themselves, but this is ridiculous. "E. Howard Hunt, the country's most notorious spook who later served time for his role as one of the plumbers in the bungled burglary that later toppled Richard Nixon, gave a near-deathbed confession to his long-estranged son, naming then-Vice President Lyndon B. Johnson and a handful of CIA spooks as the cabal behind the assassination of John F. Kennedy, according to a story in Rolling Stone." Inherent in My Religious Beliefs is the Wrongness of Your Beliefs Holy crap! Irrefutable evidence that it is impossible to get into heaven! via Infidel753. Wellington Grey on the difference between science and faith, via Five Public Opinions. The status of limbo is now in limbo, according to Dr. Von Monkerstein. I think he has failed to take into account waiting in line at the DMV. Mitt Romney's favorite novel? Battlefield Earth. Yes indeed, Xenu abides. I'm not sure if it's scary of funny, the blind obedience of the audience and the unmitigated gall of the huckster. "Let the bodies hit the floor", via Pharyngula, Blue Gal. Here is a perfectly delightful intelligent design cartoon, via Infidel753. Some truly amazing Jesus action figures, via Princess Sparkle Pony. I'm still waiting for the trading cards. Shamelessly Propagating Unhealthy Female Stereotypes From "John's Science Fiction & Fantasy Pages," the complete directions on the "Things I will do when I become Evil Empress." An interesting New York Times article by Peggy Orenstein, "What’s Wrong With Cinderella?" Anne Hathaway wearing nothing but a paper bag. 'Nuff said. From Lady, That's My Skull, the tale of a babysitting job gone horribly wrong. The post is here, "Honey Ball's Babysitting Job", but the pix are here. As if Abstinence Posters (via Beer & Meat) were not exciting enough, we also have Witches in Bikinis, Interspecies Snorgling and Betty and Veronica in bondage! Becca over at No Smoking in the Skull Cave has posted some great soap ads by pin-up artist Merlin Enabnit, as well as some Vintage Hires Rootbeer Ads. Wild Kingdom OK, OK, so I like Pictures of cute cats and kittens, what are gonna do about it? via Oliver Willis.