Minister of Science and Chief Protector of the Faith

Friday, May 25, 2007

Special Focus on Technology Issue: fembot assassins! 

With all of the money that I have made on my OPEC and Haliburton stocks, I have been able to afford to buy some guest workers for Casa de Zaius. Dr. Goldfoot was having an "Everything Must Go" sale, and I bought the last of his fembots!

I am still working out some of the compatibility issues, and there seems to be some kinks in the software. Imagine! The old goat still codes everything in Windows 3.1!


Perhaps some of you can help me figure out the manual. There are parts of it I can't make head nor tail of! The chapter marked Trailer seems to be a broad overview of the project. There is a delightful opening sequence that is animated by Art Clokey, with a song by The Supremes.

Sam & The Apemen perform the background on number 11, which I thought was actually very helpful.

There is a footnote about Dr. Goldfoot's Wacky Opera Glasses. He suckered me into buying 6 pairs of them! I'm saving them for Christmas presents.

The index and the most recent chapter seems to be a compilation of various upgrades.

I hated to buy my fembot assassin equipment used, but as you can see from this demonstration, the Japanese fembot technology is just not up to snuff with Dr. Goldfoot's evil abilities.

Now if I can just find a discount aquarium store that will sell me a few sharks with lasers attached to their heads...

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At Fri May 25, 09:01:00 AM, Blogger angry ballerina said...


At Fri May 25, 01:43:00 PM, Blogger Becca said...

I'm sold! I've never seen this but now I must!

At Fri May 25, 03:35:00 PM, Anonymous Jess Wundrun said...

If fembots clean the house and give the little ones baths, I would like one or two, if you find you have more than enough.

BTW, I thought I spied a young 'Pickles' Bush in the No. 11 Sam & the Apemen chapter. Not her future husband, the drunk man discussing oil futures, but the chick at 00:33.

It is hip to be square. (Not a Ray Parker song)

At Fri May 25, 09:09:00 PM, Blogger Omnipotent Poobah said...

Ooooo! Dwayne Hickman, the consumate actor.

At Sat May 26, 03:48:00 AM, Blogger Dr. Zaius said...

Angry Ballerina: And deadly. ;o)

Becca: I know that as a fellow pop cultureologist, you will be able to understand the wonderful significance of this truly awful film. It is kind of an offshoot of the whole "Beach Party" genre. (I actually love those old beach movies. I know that they are dreadful, I just can't help myself!) They say that the inspiration for the film "Austin Powers" came at least in part from this film. Another added plus is that Vincent Price is in it. I saw speak at the Marin Civic center when I was a wee lad. (Boris Karloff is way cooler than Vincent Price, though. I think.)

Jess Wundrun: Ha! You mean the girl in the green dress! I think you are right! I think that is pickles. Just look at her get down with her bad self! I wonder if Laura Bush was in this film before or after she ran over her boyfriend.

I will send you 2 fembots by UPS, but unless you are actually thinking of actually thinning your herd, I would not let them near your children. They are assassins, remember. Mine have already killed two gardeners and a caterer! I'm still having trouble figuring out the software.

Hey, who are you Jess Wundrun? Do you have a blog?

Omnipotent Poobah: said, "Ooooo! Dwayne Hickman, the consumate actor."

Yes, "Dobie Gillis" made Dwayne Hickman who he is today, which is nobody. Do you remember that he played the boyfriend on the TV show, "That Girl"? He was so bad, he actually made Marlo Thomas look good by comparison. What an awful show. I think that paragraph just about spans his entire career.

At Sat May 26, 07:46:00 AM, Blogger Blue Gal said...

I love you, Dr. Zaius. But I'll get over it after my first cup of coffee.

At Sat May 26, 07:57:00 AM, Blogger angry ballerina said...

Dude, I wish I could shoot things with my boobs.

At Sat May 26, 08:46:00 AM, Anonymous Jess Wundrun said...

OOh Zaius, you googled me!

I am no blogger, just a midwestern heckler. If I ever figure these "tubes" out, maybe I will get my own blog.

At Sat May 26, 10:48:00 AM, Anonymous Tengrain said...

Dr. Z -

Though a classic, I think this film pales in comparison to the Ghost in the Invisible Bikini.

For Pete's sake, Boris Karloff and Basil Rathbone in a Beach Blanket movie, and it also marks the return of the character Eric Von Zipper, played with panache by Harvey Lembeck.



At Sat May 26, 12:01:00 PM, Blogger Evil Spock said...

As a leading developer in the fembot/mandroid industry, Evil Spock is hurt you didn't ask Evil Spock about The Few's models.

At Sat May 26, 01:53:00 PM, Blogger Dr. Zaius said...

Blue Gal: Curious, I seem to often have that effect on women after the sobering effect of coffee. ;o)

Angry Ballerina: The film Mr. Mike's Mondo Video: (1979) featured a brief sequence featuring the Laser Bra 2000:. Perhaps the miracle of modern science can make this a realty for you!

Jess Wundrun: Just a heckler? A noble profesion, to be sure. I am sure the Ted Stevens from Alaska can assist you with that series of bloggy tubes.

Tengrain: Oh, come on, Tengrain. This films were awful! Not classics. The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini included. But it is the terrible qulity of them that makes them so enjoyable, to me at least. Yes, Boris Karloff, Basil Rathbone and even Vincent Price were all in at least one of those beach movies. I always thought that Frankie should have dumped Annette abd her one-piece bathing suit and started dating one of the girls that wore a bikini!

Evil Spock: Dear sir, those are sexbots, as the advertisement clearly states. These are fembot assassins! Anyway, your robots look surprisingly like those battery operated toy robots that you get for Christmas. Maybe I will show an interest in next years model...


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