Minister of Science and Chief Protector of the Faith

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

The Strange Tale of Professor Xavier's Haunted House


This is the tale of what happened to me when I accepted Professor Xavier's invitation to his haunted house.


First the Professor took me to meet Jon in the "scary" laboratory. The punch and cookies were delicious! I had been hoping for some chocolate cake, though.


Little did any of us suspect that hiding in the attic was a foul creature of the night...


...A Monkpire!


Monkpires are nocturnal creatures that feed on the blood of young starlets!


Strangely enough, Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator's first reaction was to strip to his patriotic Underoos©. There are some things that I will never understand about humans. Imagine, a grown man wearing Underoos©!


Jon and his running mate attempted to stop the creature before it could drain the blood of an actress that Professor Xavier had hired to play Frau Bleucher, but to no avail. The Monkpire was too powerful for them!


As the creature changed form and advanced towards me, I knew that I had to think fast!











So I drove a streak right through his heart. Thank god for cholesterol!

AddThis Social Bookmark Button

8 Comments:

At Wed Oct 31, 06:23:00 AM, Blogger Randal Graves said...

This is completely fucked up. Brilliant!

 
At Wed Oct 31, 09:59:00 AM, Blogger Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

You only go after the Presidential opponent you fear the most!

 
At Wed Oct 31, 10:13:00 AM, Blogger Liberality said...

that was funny!

 
At Wed Oct 31, 10:31:00 AM, Anonymous Dr. Smith said...

Sadly this is one of the cases where the soy based meat substitutes are clearly no use in fighting the forces of evil.

Although, I did fend off an attack by Donald Rumsfeld with a block of Tofu...

 
At Wed Oct 31, 11:21:00 AM, Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

If I don't fight evil in my patriotic Underoos©, then how do you expect me to fight evil?

 
At Wed Oct 31, 12:32:00 PM, Blogger Germaine Gregarious said...

What are vegetables doing on that plate of steak? Banish them!

 
At Wed Oct 31, 02:45:00 PM, Blogger FranIAm said...

I'll take mine rare...

You've been mean to my Monkey though, I don't know.

Although I did just sort of dismiss him in a comment in the post above this one.

Oh well!

 
At Thu Nov 01, 11:46:00 AM, Blogger Dr. Zaius said...

Randal Graves: Thanks! I think...

Dr. Monkerstein: You mean Hilary?

Liberality: :o)

Dr. Smith: Donald Rumsfeld is a special case! You should cut the tofu into sharp wedges for better penentration...

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator: In your street clothes, perhaps?

Germaine Gregarious: The vegetables are only on the plate as a garnish. That is all that vegetables are ever good for anyway!

FranIAm: I had to act quickly - Monkpires are dangerous!

 

Post a Comment

<< Home

 
Newer Posts  |  Older Posts