Minister of Science and Chief Protector of the Faith

Monday, December 31, 2007

Winter's New Television Shows

Miss America: Reality CheckHow To Look Good Naked: Carson Kressley hosts this reality series in which women are taught to accept the way they look. The show's focus on looks would seem to merely further the stereotype that looks are all important and nothing else really matters.

Miss America: Reality CheckMiss America: Reality Check: Beauty queens are taught by celebrities to unlearn everything they know about pageant basics and learn instead about the real world, because nobody needs or deserves help in the United States more than a former Miss America.

New AmsterdamNew Amsterdam: Kind of a Highlander mixed with a male-Cinderella. He is an immortal New York homicide detective. The catch is he'll only begin to age when he finds true love. Will he ever find his really, really real soulmate? Male cliches and the Peter Pan complex are studied in depth.

Cashmere Mafia
Cashmere Mafia: The story of three women who all have Ivy League educations, and have became CEOs by the time they are 30. No pressure girls, really.

The Lipstick JungleLipstick Jungle: The story of three women who all have high-powered Ivy League educations, and have became high-powered CEOs by the time they are 30, and the big twist is that they live in high-powered Manhattan. Brooke Shields says goodbye to the last of her career.

Parking WarsParking Wars: "If you've ever received a parking ticket then you don't want to miss this fascinating new series. In 'Parking Wars,' viewers get a behind-the-scenes look at the lives of the men and women who work for the Philadelphia Parking Authority." No, I'm not kidding.

Make Me a SupermodelMake Me a Supermodel: the latest reality modeling competition series. Each week, viewers will get to vote on which aspiring model will get to stay on the catwalk and who will have to pack their bags and head for home. Viewers are encouraged to hate themselves for watching.

Terminator: The Sarah Connor ChroniclesTerminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles: Sarah trys to protect her teenage son, John, from harm. The Terminator is a cyborg girl who is about the same age as John. A morality play that involves lessons in both abstinance education and the dangers of evil fembots.

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At Mon Dec 31, 01:28:00 PM, Blogger Distributorcap said...

now you want to know why i go to work each day and am amazed i still have a job......

this is only the tip of the iceberg -- you should see the stuff that doesnt make it to any schedule.....

parking wars fascinates me --- i want to see how the meter maids avoid being spit on, yelled at or even shot by people getting tickets

At Mon Dec 31, 02:40:00 PM, Blogger Chris said...

I'm with DC. I think Parking Wars has potential.

Lipstick Jungle looks like the biggest turd. High-powered Manhattan? Brooke Shields? Yawn...

At Mon Dec 31, 04:02:00 PM, Blogger Randal Graves said...

I'm still not sure if I believe you that these are all real programs.

And looks ARE all that matters. Duh. Which is why I wear an overcoat and a mask.

At Mon Dec 31, 09:20:00 PM, Blogger BAC said...

Gee, now I can't wait for the new TV season.


At Mon Dec 31, 09:59:00 PM, Anonymous Dee Loralei said...

And here I was worried the writer's strike would have an effect on our usual most excellent tv fare :-P

Happy New Year's Dr.Z.

At Mon Dec 31, 10:33:00 PM, Blogger Freida Bee said...

HTLGN- I'm thinking the best way for me to look good naked is to get naked on national television. Yeah.

MARC- How many Miss Americas are there there aren't already has beens used to the real world, like 5?

NA- Sounds like motivation to womanize to me.

CM- No pressure yes, but even more so thanks for laying out the high expectations, cashmere bitches.

LJ- I guess I better go buy some lipstick or something. If Brooke Shields says it's the right thing to do, then it must be the right thing to do. I fear Tom Cruise's inevitable reaction to her certain anti-Christian Science stance.

PW- Dude, I got a parking ticket.

MMAS- Same. As. America's. Top. Model.

TTSCC- Here begins Bill O'Reilly's next war, "The War on Abstinence."

These are my predictions/reviews for shows that I will never watch.

At Tue Jan 01, 04:31:00 AM, Blogger Dr. Zaius said...

Distributorcap: I am not sure that I can stomach a show about meter maids, even if they are really, really attractive meter maids.

Chris: Wow! That's two for Parking Wars. I can't imagine that I would enjoy that show, even if they gave out tickets wearing mini skirts and go go boots. Poor Brooke Shields. She will soon be about as exciting as Sally Struthers.

Randal Graves: These are all indeed real programs, follow the links. The mask and the overcoat suit you well! Especially the mask.

BAC: It's gonna be a humdinger! I just hope that Turner Classic Movies will continue to show some great movies, because I don't think that there will be much else to watch on television.

Dee Loralei: Indeed! It's just keeps getting better and better! Happy new year to you as well, Dee Loralei.

Freida Bee: Ha! What great reviews! The new year in mediocre to bad television programming promises to keep the American public in even more of a resigned, languid stupor than last year.

At Tue Jan 01, 08:35:00 AM, Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Wow, one out of eight. I read somewhere that Terminator's pretty good and that looks like the only one of the bunch.

At Tue Jan 01, 04:16:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

One of these words doesn't go with the others "Brooke Shields' career" - can you guess which one? If so you are too smart to be a TV exec.

At Wed Jan 02, 02:34:00 PM, Blogger Dr. Zaius said...

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator: I guess that you are right. Any show with fembots can't be all bad!

MWB's World: Oh, come on! That's just mean. She was hot back in the stone age for almost a week! She is actually very tall now. Like freaking bigfoot.

At Sat Jan 05, 01:42:00 AM, Blogger Westcoast Walker said...

Nice snapshot from TV land. Those inferior and disposable humans do have the occasional moment of (limited) brilliance when it comes to crafting their beloved amusements.

Not sure if you get Canadian TV (CBC) but a great new show called "JPOD" is starting up, based on the Douglas Coupland novel. Great interactive site to accompany the show - it will likely be very quirky and pop culture laden if it is consistent with Coupland's writing.

At Sat Jan 05, 11:27:00 AM, Blogger Dr. Zaius said...

I wish I could get Canadian TV!


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