Minister of Science and Chief Protector of the Faith

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Dating Tips With Dr. Zaius

 
Here is a handy dating tip for women. When entertaining a young man, it is important that you know his political party. The way in which you and your potential suitor communicate with each other can be of great significance.

Dating Tips
If your new boyfriend is a Republican, he sides himself with a party that historically pro-rich, and has nothing but disdain for the poor and middle class. Republicans are like minded, and they all agree on everything. (They have to agree, or they will be ostracized from the party.) You may find it difficult to discuss any subject that does not center around the accumulation of wealth and the hatred of those that are not rich.

Dating Tips
On the other hand, Democrats are very liberal minded and open to many different viewpoints. When dating democrats, you are far more likely to meet a diverse and multi-cultural swath of possible suitors. A wide range of variation in the qualities or attributes of a liberal suitor are actually encouraged by the Democratic party, and no one is excluded. You may find that many liberals are markedly different from the average Republican, or even contrast conspicuously from each other.

This is a Zaius Nation reprint.
 

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8 Comments:

At Tue Jun 24, 11:13:00 AM, Blogger Swinebread said...

Why go republican...

when you can go ape!

 
At Tue Jun 24, 12:26:00 PM, Blogger mwb said...

Sure you cover major party dating, but what about third party?

 
At Tue Jun 24, 12:47:00 PM, Blogger dguzman said...

We've told The Kid that she can bring home and/or date anyone EXCEPT republicans.

 
At Tue Jun 24, 09:43:00 PM, Blogger Madam Z said...

"Democrats are very liberal minded and open to many different viewpoints."

I'm sorry, dear Dr. Zaius, I must disagree with you, no matter how entertaining your writing and photoshop skills are. It has been my experience that many diehard liberal Democrats are just as close-minded as conservative Republicans are. They have their list of absolutes (pro-Palestinian, anti-Israel, Walmart is evil, the military is evil, political correctness is de rigeur, all abortions are A-OK, blacks cannot take care of themselves, etc ad nauseum) and one must accept the entire package or endure their wrath. That is why I am an Independent. I pick and choose my stands on various issues, based on my experience and what I feel makes sense. Republicans would hate me for some of my opinions and Democrats would hate me for others. Consequently, I avoid political discussions unless severely provoked. Then...WATCH OUT!

 
At Wed Jun 25, 01:29:00 PM, Blogger Spook said...

the military is evil? there you go again. Democrats do not believe the military is evil, but most are opposed to using it for evil as it is in Iraq. Walmart IS evil, but i think thats a personal decision. people of colour cannot take care of themselves? I'm thinking that was part of the Republicans "Contract on America" or at least it is there bigoted belief. I'll be WATCHING.

 
At Thu Jun 26, 12:04:00 PM, Blogger Dr. Zaius said...

Swinebread: Yay! Man will thrive under the benevolent yolk, er... yoke of simian kindness.

MWB: Which third party? Do you mean the Whigs, or the Tories?

Dguzman:
We've told The Kid that she can bring home and/or date anyone EXCEPT republicans.

Madam Z: Democrats can definitely be close minded and opinionated. The difference is that the Democrats are "very liberal minded and open to many different viewpoints." The party allows many different viewpoints - close minded, opinionated or otherwise. Republicans cannot say the same. You must follow the party credo, or be ostracized.

So you are an independent? Like Lou Dobbs? (hee hee!) ;o)

Spook: I must disagree to a small extent. To a mother whose son is sent off to war, the military is pretty evil.

 
At Fri Jun 27, 04:21:00 PM, Blogger Utah Savage said...

Ziaus, I love you. Oh, I told you that last week didn't I? Sad how the old start repeating themselves.

 
At Mon Jun 30, 09:04:00 AM, Blogger Dr. Zaius said...

:o) Thanks, Utah Savage! You are very kind. I love you too!

 

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