Minister of Science and Chief Protector of the Faith

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Obama Has Been Dupeda By Sanjay Gupta


Although I can grudgingly accept that President-elect Barack Obama has chosen America's second most famous brain surgeon, Sanjay Gupta, for the U.S. surgeon general post, I can only say that the reason that I was not chosen was due purely to political cronyism, partisan politics and abject favoritism. I mean, I have performed far more lobotomies on humans than Dr. Gupta ever has!

Ah, well... At least I can console myself with the knowledge that CNN will most certainly be calling me soon to fill in as Dr. Gupta's replacement as a television correspondent. Hey, maybe I will get to meet Christiane Amanpour!

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At Wed Jan 07, 09:28:00 AM, Blogger Randal Graves said...

If you do end up replacing Sanjay, can you take a whizz in Blitzer's morning coffee?

At Wed Jan 07, 10:01:00 AM, Blogger dguzman said...

It's obviously ape prejudice. Those assholes!

Oooh, and I want you to wee in Blitzer's coffee cup too!

At Wed Jan 07, 10:21:00 AM, Blogger Doc said...

"Nice picture Brainguy, now send 'em the crummy movie!"


At Wed Jan 07, 02:01:00 PM, Blogger Swinebread said...

I can't wait to see you on CNN!

At Wed Jan 07, 04:26:00 PM, Blogger darkblack said...

A disgrace! May their acronym now stand for Chimpanzees Nattering Nebulously.

'Hey, maybe I will get to meet Christiane Amanpour'

...And she can sit on your lap in fine sleepwear, feeding you coffee cake whilst discussing Shintoist philosophy.


At Wed Jan 07, 05:27:00 PM, Blogger MichaelBains said...

Sure do hope you get that CNN gig, Doc.


At Wed Jan 07, 09:11:00 PM, Blogger pidomon said...

I'd TIVO that!

At Thu Jan 08, 11:16:00 AM, Blogger Comrade Kevin said...

It might work, as long as you weren't forced to appear as a hologram.

At Thu Jan 08, 05:19:00 PM, Blogger Utah Savage said...

What they said. Especially the part about Christiana--I've had a crush on her for ages. You lucky ape.

At Thu Jan 08, 05:20:00 PM, Blogger Utah Savage said...

And pissing in Blitzer's coffee. Yea, that too.

At Fri Jan 09, 12:23:00 PM, Blogger Liberality said...

well that is just the icing on the freaking cake! Obama is NOT progressive when it comes to our health!

At Sat Jan 10, 08:45:00 AM, Blogger Freida of the Bees said...

Are lobotomies about to be mandatory? If so, I may regret not having John McCain's Cash-in-Advance™ healthcare option.

At Sun Jan 11, 11:01:00 AM, Blogger FranIAm said...

You know how hard it would be for an ape to be accepted.

You must wait for justice, it is not your time yet!

At Sun Jan 11, 10:25:00 PM, Blogger Dr. Zaius said...

Randal Graves: I'll do worse that that, I'll kill his lead story!

dguzman: I shall officially put you in charge of Blitzer's coffee. ;o)

Doc: Everyone's a critic. I like those old movies!

Swinebread: Me either! I wanna be part of the CNN Barbeque Forum. Mmm!

darkblack: Hey! Some of my best friends are chimpanzees! Christiane Amanpour can sit on my laps wearing jammies any day, though...

MichaelBains: Thanks, MichaelBains! :o)

pidomon: I would buy TIVO just so I could TIVO myself!

Comrade Kevin: But maybe they have a holodeck...

Utah Savage: I agree! Christiane Amanpour is delicious.

Liberality: Cake? Did you say cake?

Freida of the Bees: Lobotomies are already mandatory, among the Republicans. The democrats have got to catch up! We can't afford to have a lobotomy gap!

FranIAm: **sigh** Thanks for that sentiment, FranIAm.

At Wed Jan 14, 07:59:00 PM, Blogger Distributorcap said...

i was so hoping for you

At Fri Jan 16, 10:05:00 AM, Blogger mwb said...

Dr Z., wait you're proud of damaging precious brains?

You sicko!

All that should be done with brains is to liberate them from their primitive fleshy prisons so that they might float free and proud!


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