Minister of Science and Chief Protector of the Faith

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Miss California is Trying to Redefine Marriage with Her Giant Anti-Gay Jesus Boobs

The onslaught of the media has been rough as of late for the new Miss California, Carrie Prejean. (Shouldn't that be Ms. California?) She created something of a stir when answering a question during the competition when she stated that she believed marriage should only be between a man and woman.

Later the news surfaced that she recently had breast augmentation surgery that was paid for by the Miss California Organization, just weeks before the Miss USA pageant.

The most recent scandal to come to light is the publication of topless and semi-nude photos of Ms. Prejean on the internet. Ms Prejean has already rebutted these stories by saying that the web site that published these photos, "openly mocks me for my Christian faith."

For those that find this statment to be kind of odd don't know the real story...

(Carrie Prejean Miss California) You see, anti-gay Jesus came down from anti-gay Heaven...
You see, anti-gay Jesus came down from anti-gay Heaven...

(Carrie Prejean Miss California) yea and verily, i say unto you - Behold the giant gay-hating jesus boobs! yea and verily, Behold the giant gay-hating jesus boobs!
And gave Miss California giant magical anti-gay boobs so that she could...

(Carrie Prejean Miss California) the Miss California pageant and appear as the official spokesmodel for 'opposite marriage' in an upcoming ad funded by the conservative group the National Organization for Marriage. the Miss California pageant and appear as the official spokesmodel for "opposite marriage" in an upcoming ad funded by the conservative group the National Organization for Marriage.

(Carrie Prejean Miss California) No giant boobs for you because you don't hate gay people enough! ...And you aren't blonde.
You see, It all makes sense in the proper context. Alabama House To Praise Miss California For Anti-Gay Marriage Position
Huffington Post: Miss California's Breast Implants Funded By Pageant: CONFIRMED
Associated Press: Prejean says racy Web photos posted to mock faith Carrie Prejean Miss California Topless Photos Surface on the Web Wait, Didn't Miss California Swear Off Politics?
Mercury News: Pageant PR rep accuses Miss California of lying
Huffington Post: Miss California To Campaign Against Gay Marriage Pageant Paid for Miss California's Fake Boobs (Before, After Photos) Miss California Puts Those Breast Implants Right To Work Is Miss California intolerant, or are her opponents? Miss California likes opposite marriage better then gay marriage

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At Tue May 05, 01:30:00 PM, Blogger Kelly the little black dog said...

Your logic is making my head hurt!

At Tue May 05, 02:15:00 PM, Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

I love all the boobs, even boobs who don't believe in gay marriage.

Stay thirsty my friend.

At Tue May 05, 02:21:00 PM, Blogger Randal Graves said...

First gay marriage, then people will be allowed to marry implants!

At Tue May 05, 02:45:00 PM, Blogger Some Guy said...

In a recent blind taste test, people preferred Anti-Gay Jesus Boob milk to regular old cow milk 2 to 1. Granted, the test was conducted primarily in Alabama and Mississippi, so the results may be somewhat skewed.

At Tue May 05, 09:07:00 PM, Blogger Odile said...

Don´t know, we all talk about the respect for the differences, but when a person said (says ¿?) in a polite way she disagrees, that person is insulted in a lot of ways; may be she is against the gay marriage, but who is more intolerant: the intolerant or the tolerant who don´t respect the intolerant?
All that I say is if that´s what she believes, that´s fine with me, but I will not change my mind: every person in this earth can marriage the person she loves if both parts agree

At Tue May 05, 11:02:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Latest word on Miss California is that she believes that she is the victim of a gay conspiracy, that leaked topless pix of her to discredit her. It's only a matter of time before she begins accusing Free Masons of undermining society and hanging around with Mel 'Sugar tits' Gibson. Incidentally Mel Gibson also spells 'big melons'!

At Tue May 05, 11:32:00 PM, Blogger pollicino said...

I have visited your interesting blog.Do You want visit the my blogs for an exchange visit?Grazie.

At Wed May 06, 07:32:00 AM, Blogger Übermilf said...

I just wish gay marriage would become legal, so it would become a non-issue like it is in Europe, and both Miss Anythings and Perez Hilton will stop talking. STOP TALKING! In public, at least. People who willingly subject themselves to Perez Hilton and Miss Anythings can listen to them all they want.

At Wed May 06, 08:13:00 AM, Blogger Tengrain said...

Zaius -

You magnificent bastard!

This is brilliant stuff, and I'm jealous as hell I did not think of it first.



At Wed May 06, 08:36:00 AM, Blogger Matty Boy said...

Doc, since you can remember Land of the Giants, you should know those aren't giant tits. And as I have seen more fake tits, at least in pictures, I find the whole "much closer to the armpits than they are to the solar plexus" look somewhat disconcerting.

At Wed May 06, 09:38:00 AM, Blogger Lisa said...

That gal there ain't totin' much of what the lord gave her anymore.

She's totin' what comes from A Whole New You Reconstructive and Cosmetic Surgery and Day Spa.

At Wed May 06, 11:02:00 AM, Blogger Dean Wormer said...

Instead of a boob job I would've suggested a partial lobotomy.

Actually- after reading her comments it appears she may of had that done as well.

At Wed May 06, 08:03:00 PM, Blogger BAC said...

Giant Anti-Gay Jesus Boobs ... you are too much Dr. Z!!


At Wed May 06, 10:28:00 PM, Blogger susan said...

I had to come over to congratulate you on the technorati widget you posted at Utah's house.

Did you ever hear the old story about the wedding night where the bride removed her wig, makeup, false teeth, girdle (told you it's an old joke) and padded bra. When her husband picked everything up and headed out the door she asked him where he was going. He answered, 'I'm off to spend a night on the town with the woman I married.'

I didn't say it was good either but it was all I had tonight.

At Thu May 07, 08:57:00 AM, Blogger Dr. Zaius said...

Kelly the little black dog: The truth is a painful thing to be sure. ;o)

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator: Caution! A boob in the hand is worth two in the... No wait. That doesn't make any sense...

Randal Graves: No semi-solids or gels! Either you are liquid or you are solid. No fraternizing!

Some Guy: Hmm... I am guessing that there is a lot of Anti-Gay Jesus Boob milk in Alabama and Mississippi.

Odile: The joke is that Miss California has been so hypocritical and 'holier-than-thou'. First, she flubbed her speech. Then she goes on TV and talks about what a great Christian she is. Then we find out that her fake boobs were paid for by the Miss California Pageant. Then naked pictures of her surface.

She is certainly allowed an opinion. The problem is that she does not live up to the ideals that she speaks of.

Jang-chub Ozer: Oh, I can believe it. The "Gays" are looking for topless pictures to discredit pageant winners with. Look what happened to Mel Gibson and his 'big melons'!

Pollicino: Yes, thanks! You have a very nice blog. :o)

Übermilf: Unfortunately, things will stay the same. The subject will change, but the stupidity and hypocrisy will stay the same.

Tengrain: Thanks, Tengrain! **blush**
Matty Boy: Shh! In the story they are giant, that's all that matters. Anyway, who are you to cross Jesus? ;o)

Lisa: Paid for by the pagent. That's what is so crazy!

Dean Wormer: As an expert in lobotomies, I would have to concur with your learned opinion.

BAC: Hee hee! Thanks, BAC!

Susan: Thanks, Susan! I like your joke! We have political candidates that are just as false up front, and we are stuck with nothing more than the the wig, makeup, false teeth, girdle and padded bra after the election. :o)

At Thu May 07, 12:02:00 PM, Blogger Wee Mousie said...

We really must get someone to volunteer to sacrifice himself by getting close to Ms. Prejean and sinking his fangs deep into her giant gay-hating boobs. By piercing them in this way, all the super-strength, magical Christian hatred of gayness will leak out, leaving her with only vague delusions of superiority or importance, and, of course, her usual lack of mental clarity.

I am willing to be that volunteer, but someone else will have to command the decontamination crew that must immediately clean up the toxic spill of hatred, which in its raw, unconstrained state will shrivel both homos and hetros alike, not to mention all vegetation, woodland creatures, waterfowls, insects, rock formations and passing extra terrestrials — even honestly abstinent ones.

At Thu May 07, 01:14:00 PM, Blogger mwb said...

Bash Miss California and her homophobic ways all you want - I'm with you.

But don't you dare mock boobies! Them's fighting words!

At Sat May 09, 02:52:00 PM, Blogger Comrade Kevin said...

Jesus did hang out with some prostitutes in his day. Maybe this explains the fake breasts?

At Sat May 09, 09:34:00 PM, Blogger Dr. Zaius said...

Wee Mousie: Ack! I am feeling a bit woozy after reading that comment... I think I shall put on my HazMat suit and retire to my underground bunker! :o)

MWB: I'm not mocking all boobies, just Miss California's giant magical anti-gay boobies!

Comrade Kevin: Ack! Are you saying that Jesus had fake boobies!?!?!?

At Sun May 10, 09:30:00 AM, Blogger Freida Bee, MD said...

I'll have you know that my boobies are waayy bigger than Ms. Opposite Marriage's and I love gay marriage, so that proves Jesus loves gay marriage more than he loves hating gay marriage.

At Mon May 11, 05:16:00 AM, Blogger Dr. Zaius said...

Ah, but this post isn't about Jesus. It is about "anti-gay Jesus", who comes from "anti-gay Heaven". Clearly he is a human incarnation, and not the real McCoy.

Also, I have it on good authority that the real Jesus is more of a leg man... ;o)

At Tue May 12, 11:20:00 AM, Blogger Connecticut Man1 said...

Supply Side Jesus would approve of this...

At Wed May 13, 08:33:00 AM, Blogger Emily said...

Hmmn... maybe it's the Miss California Organization's evil anti-gay conspiracy to blame?

I think the breast implants should be checked for transmitters.

At Wed May 13, 09:37:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Holy crap I love you. Please transition genders and gay-marry me AT ONCE.

At Thu May 14, 07:14:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

*takes off on ROFLcopter*

10/10 as always.

At Sat Jul 11, 05:57:00 AM, Blogger if only you knew said...

everyone has there own opinon, does anyone under stand this. republic, democractic, christian, atheist, boob job, or whatever. that is what makes us all different. different ideas, different people. balck, white, brown, blue and so on... does that mean we cant except them. just because some "christians" have there thoughts on gay marriage dosent mean We all do. its life. We are human. does that mean everyone that has a boob job is dumb and uneducated? im sure most of you think other wise. does that also mean that everyone who looks different or feels a certain way about a different subject is a terrible disgusting person. rack your brain for the things that you have different thoughts on. different ideas that you might be scared or even lie to others about because you were to afraid they wouldnt like you for saying it. at least she spoke honestly. but what does it matter if one person said it? or even if others agree with her? apperently she didnt win. you have alot of people that are for same sex marriage as well. they have the same thoughts as well. like i said everyone is different. and knocking jesus because of it dosent mean all christians are terrible and hate you. thats bull. thats what some choose to believe. if you picked up a bible and read it you would see he did hangout with prosistutes and thieves and so on. did that mean he hated them?!no!He did it to guide them and help them. we brought hate upon our selves. upon our nation, upon the people who are fighting and calling eachother rediculous names over the straight and gay. and as for Carrie Prejean. wow she got shot up with comments for telling the truth and being human and messing up like the rest of us. are you perfect? must be to make such "hillarious" jokes about jesus. I have to say it must be amazing to never have made a mistake in your life! Shoot i know i make mistakes all of the time! because for the last time i am HUMAN!

At Wed Jun 30, 05:10:00 PM, Blogger Jennifer said...

Blasphemy. The unforgivable sin.

At Tue Apr 11, 12:55:00 AM, Blogger kumars knk said...

Nice Post keep updating like this,

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