Minister of Science and Chief Protector of the Faith

Friday, August 21, 2009

We Must Save Hitler's Brain!


I have been watching ths whole healthcare reform debacle on my mainstream media box, and I think that I am finally begining to understand this whole "teabagger" debate. You see, back in 1945 the Nazis realized that they were losing the war and decided that they must save Hitler's brain...

So the Nazi's carefully cryogenically preserved the Führer's brain to carry out their nefarious deeds in the future...

...And then during the 2008 Presidential Election the Nazi-Socialist Democrats resurrected Hitler's brain, and reanimated their army of Nazi-Socialist robots that had been hidden since World War II inside of an acorn. (I am still not sure that I understand how they managed to hide a whole army of Nazi-Socialist robots inside of an acorn, however. I'll have to get back to you on that part.)

Hitler (Now called Obama) and his army of Nazi-Socialist robots stole the presidential election...

and proceeded to destroy American Healthcare insurance companies.

Hitler-Obama's evil plan is to use his control over the American government to take control the American government! (I'm still not sure that I understand that part, either...)

The American people are shocked to learn that Hitler-Obama plans to kill all of the old people as well as Former Governor Palin's baby...

...And sell their organs on the open market.

And the only person that can save the country is Dick Armey and his totally and completely grassroots organization of brave insurance lobbyists and their scrappy, rag-tag band of town hall enthusiasts. As near as I can tell, that's what's going on.

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At Fri Aug 21, 08:15:00 AM, Blogger okjimm said...

Ha! I think I understand!

At Fri Aug 21, 09:34:00 AM, Blogger Matty Boy said...

Keep your public option. Give me THOOM!

I always wondered if the artist put in the big sound effects, or if that was the work of the letterer afterwards.

At Fri Aug 21, 10:08:00 AM, Blogger The Hermit said...

I knew it! Only an evil Hitler robot would suggest healthcare for everyone.

At Fri Aug 21, 10:53:00 AM, Blogger Randal Graves said...

I am still not sure that I understand how they managed to hide a whole army of Nazi-Socialist robots inside of an acorn, however.

Really? Don't you remember Dr. Shrinker? The Nazi-Socialist Democrats are always subcontracting to that guy.

At Fri Aug 21, 11:09:00 AM, Blogger Kelly the little black dog said...

Well now I understand. Thanks for clearing it up!

At Fri Aug 21, 11:17:00 AM, Blogger Dr Zibbs said...


At Fri Aug 21, 11:21:00 AM, Blogger Tea Break said...

(wiping tears) you speak just like a young Rush Limbaugh, before he sold out and lost his idealism.

At Fri Aug 21, 01:10:00 PM, Blogger El Serracho! said...

what about the death panels?

At Fri Aug 21, 03:48:00 PM, Blogger ZIRGAR said...

I'm confused; I thought they implimented a Boys From Brazil type scheme to get a Nazi in the White House, and only used a back man for the irony.

At Fri Aug 21, 04:42:00 PM, Blogger susan said...

I'd been under the mistaken impression he was the Manchurian President. I know better now.

At Fri Aug 21, 05:31:00 PM, Blogger sunshine said...

You are HILARIOUS! But, you already knew that. ;)

I can't believe that Obama killed his OWN Grandma! What an evil nazi-socialist jerk he is!

At Fri Aug 21, 06:54:00 PM, Blogger Tengrain said...

Dr. Zaius -

Wait until the Birthers learn-up on this! Woot-woot, the unifying theory for their conspiracy, it all is clear now!



PS - I'm confused about the acorn thing, too. Did the Panziers get miniaturized, too?

At Fri Aug 21, 08:45:00 PM, Blogger Distributorcap said...

it looks like armey's hair is bit like astroturf

At Sat Aug 22, 03:33:00 AM, Blogger ZIRGAR said...

In my previous comment I meant to say, "...and only used a black man for the irony." I'm not even sure what a back man is exactly.

At Sat Aug 22, 08:40:00 AM, Blogger Seeing Eye Chick said...

So if this is the Unifying Theory for the Obama Hitler, does that mean that Dick Armey is the Strings Theory for the Rush Limbaugh CounterInsurgency?

Dr Z. You are an Hilarious Genius! But you know I had just as much fun reading the comments.

At Sat Aug 22, 11:08:00 AM, Blogger Masked Liberal Evangelist said...

Feh. Who needs Hitler's brain when many of his ideals are alive and well. Right thinking Americans believe Obama and Sotomayor are racists, full-blooded Americans are God's chosen people, torture is patriotic, the ACLU is destroying our liberties, and expanding health care coverage for the working poor, schwarzes and auslanders is evil.

At Sat Aug 22, 11:26:00 AM, Blogger Comrade Kevin said...

I have to say, these people are certainly creative in their LIES!

At Sat Aug 22, 01:41:00 PM, Blogger Hamed said...

This story is a tragic one for President Obama and remains largely untold.

As history tells us, Hitler's brain was preserved in a very scientifically advanced schnitzel which Nazi scientists used to keep the brain alive and juicy.

VP Biden, who has always been the inside guy, took President Obama to another one of those burger type joints where they could blue-collar-buddy-it-up for the cameras like a couple of regular joe-the-plumbers. This was back in July.

Joe said, "Get my pal Barry one of those german sausage specials." President Obama was now obliged to eat or show division and weakness in the Administration.

The schnitzel, when combined with sour kraut and a kind of rustic, psychoactive mustard, caused an immediate tranformation in Obama's politics, which as we have seen very closely resembles the experiments performed by Nazi doctor Josef Mengele.

Sorry to say, there is no cure.

At Sat Aug 22, 03:27:00 PM, Blogger Moxie said...

Humans are silly.

At Sat Aug 22, 03:49:00 PM, Blogger Darwin's Dagger said...

That makes as much sense as anything else I've heard recently.

At Sat Aug 22, 06:23:00 PM, Blogger Jaliya said...

This is (gasp), hands down, the (gasp) most hilarious commentary I've (gasp) seen on the "Obama's a Nazi" theme ... Kudos! :-D

At Sat Aug 22, 07:41:00 PM, Blogger sunshine said...

Let me see...
~Lesbians From Space..
~ Like Kryptonite To Stupid
~Lotsa 'Splainin 2 Do....

No, no Love At Home...
Hey.. no problem babe.... I'm not hurt. :( I'll get over it.. don't worry.
:P Tee Hee...

At Sun Aug 23, 09:06:00 AM, Blogger sunshine said...

Awww... I look soooo cute between Lotsa 'Splainin' 2 Do and Luminiferous Ether!
Merci Monsieur Ape. :)

At Mon Aug 24, 09:00:00 PM, Blogger Batocchio said...

Wunderbar, Herr Zaius!

At Tue Aug 25, 03:27:00 AM, Blogger That Face! said...


Zees ar all liez! I heff Herr Hitler's brain here viz me!
He helpz me mow ze lawn, gott in himmel!


At Tue Aug 25, 06:48:00 AM, Blogger EspressoFrog said...

Can't you just throw them into the Forbidden Zone, I mean what's wrong with Ape Law ?

At Tue Aug 25, 07:59:00 AM, Blogger Tea Break said...


At Tue Aug 25, 11:55:00 AM, Blogger Tequila Mockingbird said...

unlike change, THIS is something i can believe in.

although, frankly i hope they do pull the plug on gramma, cause she was cantankerous (so much so, even her pocket full of werthers original did not make up for it).

At Tue Aug 25, 06:38:00 PM, Blogger GETkristiLOVE said...

Bravo once again, Dr. Zaius. I'm in awe.

At Wed Aug 26, 07:18:00 AM, Blogger Dr. Zaius said...

OKJimm: Suddenly it all makes sense! ;o)

Matty Boy: It's THOOMeriffic! I am pretty sure that the sound effects are done by the artisit that does pencils, and not the letterer. ;o)

The Hermit: We must stop the evil Hitler-Obama robot before a deadly case of universal healthcare breaks out!

Randal Graves: The joke was "Acorn" as in The joe was too obscure, I guess. :o(

Do you remember shrinky-dinks?

Kelly the little black dog: So glad to clarify this important issue, Kelly the little black dog!

Dr Zibbs: Thanks, Dr. Zibbs!

Tea Break: I am humbled by your kind words. I shall attempt to live up to these valuable words! ;o)

El Serracho!: They plan to kill all of the old people as well as Former Governor Palin's baby, of course! ;o)

Zirgar: That was the GOP's story last week. Next week, I am sure that the Manchurian Candidate story will return! ;o)

Susan: That was the GOP's story two weeks ago. Have no fear, the the Manchurian Candidate story will return soon!

Sunshine: His own grandmother? Ack! Just like Little Red Riding Hood! Thank you, Sunshine! ;o)

Tengrain: When you look at the big pictures, it makes a lot more sense. ;o)
The joke was "Acorn" as in The joe was too obscure, I guess. :o(

Distributorcap: No! His hair is a totally and completely grassroots organization! ;o)

Zirgar: Hmm... I know what a backdoor man is...

Seeing Eye Chick: I'm not sure... I am still trying to figure out the tasty and delicious string cheese theory! Thank you, Seeing Eye Chick! ;o)

Masked Liberal Evangelist: I think you are clearly abreast of the recent events in American politics. ;o)

Comrade Kevin: It's remarkable that the media feels that their message should be given credence, as well.

Hamed: I too like to keep my brains alive and juicy! The trick is to use brain brine and a container that is hermetically sealed. I had no idea that the schnitzel was so dangerous! I'll have two, please. ;o)

Moxie: Indeed! I've been saying that for years. ;o)

Darwin's Dagger: So glad that I could clarify this important issue for you, Darwin's Dagger!

Jaliya: Thanks, Jaliya! You are very kind. :o)

Sunshine: Merely an oversight, my dear. My apologies. :o)

Batocchio: Recht schönen Dank, Batocchio! :o)

That Face!: He mows your lawn? That's odd. I thought he was in the White House! ;o)

EspressoFrog: Oh, in Ape City we never throw humans into the Forbidden Zone. We exterminate most of them, and lobotomize the rest! ;o)

Tea Break: How catchy! That could be a groovy and happening hit tune for the young whippersnappers!

Tequila Mockingbird: Hey, I happen to really like Werther's Originals. Also, those little jelly oranges slices. And M&Ms. And Reeses Peanut Butter Cups! ;o)

GETkristiLOVE: Thank you, GETkristiLOVE! you are very kind. ;o)

At Wed Aug 26, 08:43:00 PM, Blogger Swinebread said...

stunned by your awesomeness!

At Thu Aug 27, 09:59:00 AM, Blogger Randal Graves said...

I got that joke, I just liked watching bad 70s programming. Shrinky Dinks! Hell yes!


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