Minister of Science and Chief Protector of the Faith

Saturday, April 03, 2010

What Easter is Really About...

I have my own own unique opinion of god. I think that mankind made a fundamental error when he created a differentiation between the words "god" and "universe". all of man's confusion on the subject of religion could be cleared up if we removed the bias that the usage of two different words for the same subject has caused. If there was only one word for god and the universe, then nobody would argue about it.

Think about it. Scientists, philosophers and theologians would all be studying the same thing! All dogma would be erased because our concept of god would not be separate from the universe. It would all be one concept. If there were not two different words to differentiate between the two ideas, you wouldn't be able to argue about it. There wouldn't be any words to use.

And instead of telling our chidren horror stories about the Holy Church of the Gooey Death and the Zombie Resurrection, we would instead concentrate on the philosophy that Jesus and other religious leaders have preached about how it is probably not really a good idea to spend your life being an asshole.

And then we could all concentrate on what Easter should really be about...


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At Sun Apr 04, 07:35:00 AM, Blogger Matty Boy said...

I dislike Peeps, but I love the bun-buns.

Da cute li'l bun-buns!

At Sun Apr 04, 11:38:00 AM, Blogger JustJoeP said...

Bunnies are cute, and delicious, when sauteed correctly, with lots of butter. mmmmmmm

"philosophy that Jesus ...preached" ...THAT Socialist? No no, throw away your red letter Bible, and read Only Paul's epistles. Paul was very very good at gay hating, self loathing, persecuting. It's Paul who is the one all good Upstanding Umerikuns need to follow, not that hippy Jesus. Amen!

At Sun Apr 04, 12:11:00 PM, Blogger Tengrain said...

I'll join the church of Zaius any day. May I have a second slice of cake?



At Sun Apr 04, 02:34:00 PM, Blogger BadTux said...

Cake. Yum. Beats celebrating that somebody stole the body of your founder out of its tomb, which is what Christians are doin' today.

- Badtux the Heretic Penguin

At Sun Apr 04, 09:06:00 PM, Blogger Distributorcap said...

did jesus eat peeps at the last supper?

At Mon Apr 05, 02:48:00 PM, Blogger Seeing Eye Chick said...

The love of a true romantic who sees that divinity is immanent in nature.
And Bunnies!

At Mon Apr 05, 10:02:00 PM, Blogger susan said...

Sounds like a very good plan to me and one i plan on using from now on.

At Tue Apr 06, 10:07:00 AM, Blogger Randal Graves said...

I can't believe you left out NBA doubleheaders. Why do you hate Easter?

At Tue Apr 06, 11:46:00 AM, Blogger genexs said...

I've been studying all morning, but just can't seem to find any mention of bunnies in the Sacred Scrolls. :(

At Tue Apr 06, 11:54:00 AM, Blogger BadTux said...

Check under the "spring fertility rite" section, genexs. Same section that the eggs are found in, they, too, are a symbol of fertility. If these rites are not performed properly, the crops planted in the spring will not multiply and be fruitful, and we'll all die. For true!

- Badtux the Fertility Rite Penguin

At Tue Apr 06, 07:47:00 PM, Blogger Steve said...

hold it i'm not supposed to spend my life being an asshole?
i have some major rethinking to do

At Wed Apr 07, 08:54:00 AM, Blogger Dr. Zaius said...

Matty Boy: I like bunnies too! Except giant bunnies. They're scary! ;o)

JustJoeP: Saul who became Paul! What a dick. ;o)

Tengrain: Yay! A true believer! Let's go get some cake. ;o)

BadTux: Let's be honest, Christians are celebrating chocolate bunnies and colored eggs on Easter! ;o)

Distributorcap: I hope so! Only the best for the son of God. ;o)

Seeing Eye Chick: Yay! Bunnies! You have excellent taste. ;o)

Susan: Awesome! That makes me very happy. :o)

Randal Graves: Sorry! The NBA does not chocolate bunnies or colored eggs. ;o)

Genexs: You need to read the Super Duper Secret Sacred Scrolls. ;o)

BadTux: You are a Fertility Rite Penguin? Awesome! ;o)

Steve: Clearly spending your life being an asshole is a bad idea. If you doubt me, just watch FOX News! ;o)

At Wed Apr 07, 09:18:00 AM, Blogger Seeing Eye Chick said...

Steve, first we have to work on that bad breath. And then find you some underwears that fit. Tight underwears is one of the leading causes of asshole-ness in the world.

At Thu Apr 15, 08:47:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Physicists are still arguing about the universe, but hopefully the discovery of the Higgs Boson particle will clear that up - if only they can stop the liquid nitrogen leaks in the CERN collider. Science can hardly be blamed for technical difficulties.


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