Minister of Science and Chief Protector of the Faith

Monday, August 21, 2006

Gel Bras: Giving Aid and Comfort to the Enemy

Tits and Terrorism

ABC News: Authorities Warning Women Not to Wear Gel Bras
As Worries of Possible Female Bombers Increase

"U.S. authorities are advising women not to wear gel bras on airplanes as information developed in the foiled London plot points to an expanding role for women in smuggling explosives on to an aircraft." ABC News

Take away women's gel bras? Damn you, Bin Laden!

A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's, and walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife."

"What type of bra?" asked the clerk.

"Type?" inquires the man. "There is more than one type?"

"Look around," said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material. "Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras," replied the salesclerk. Confused, the man asked what were the types. The saleslady replied "The Catholic type, the, Salvation Army type, the Baptist type, and the Gel Type. Which one do you need?"

Still confused the man asked, "What is the difference between them?"

The lady responded, "It is all really quite simple. The Catholic type supports the masses, the Salvation Army type lifts up the fallen, the Baptist type makes mountains out of mole hills, and the gel type makes Republicans see hallucinations of Osama Bin Laden."


Lifting and Seperating
Tits and Terrorism
Gel Bras Prohibited, Then Permitted Aboard Flights
Gel-filled bras OK, but lip gel banned from baggage
Why women wear bras
Must sex be sinful? Biology says yes
A brief history of the breast

Update: They hate us for our gel bra technology!

This is not the first time that terrorists have attacked the Western World for our gel bra technology! In a case Islamo-Fascist espianage Michelle Mone, inventor of the gel-filled bra was attacked and valuable gel bra technology was stolen from the west. "The prototypes are the heart of my new range and I desperately need them back," Mone said.

Her attacker was described as white, slim, about 5ft 6in tall, and with an Islamo-Fascist expression on his face. Ms. Mone and Bill O'Reilly (Host of "The O'Reilly Factor") have offered a financial reward for the return of the underwear.

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