Zaius Nation - Some Apes Are More Equal Than Others

Sunday, January 28, 2007

The President dumps Harris for Bachmann: "Harris too clingy,'" says Bush

In the aftermath of President Bush's State of the Union address, the biggest news story to develop was the changing of the guard for a very sensitive and confidential position at the White House. taking over the job of White house concubine from Former Florida Rep. Katherine Harris is freshman Minnesota congresswoman Michele Bachmann.

Bachmann raised eyebrows at the state of the union when she used her amorous kung fu grip to steer the President away from the crowd to plant a long wet one on the pleased Commander in Chief.

Many are unaware that Bachmann has met the President before, and has chronicled the meeting on her website:

"I have never been in the Presidential limousine before so I was a little unsure what to do after the president was finished, when the limousine stopped at the custard stand. I wasn't sure if I should exit with the President or get out of my side of the car. Karl Rove told me I would exit out the door on my side after The President steps out and someone would open the door for me and help me clean up. I could not believe I was discussing how the custard stain matched the 'other' stain on my dress with the President of the United States! The Secret Service later gave me the contact information for a good dry cleaner."

Last fall Bachmann made it clear that God had "called" her to run for Congress. Bush has been quoted as saying that Bachmann is indeed "heaven sent," and he intends to remain as faithful to Bachmann as he has been to both his wife, and the American people.

Former Florida Representative and White House "Love Monkey" Katherine Harris remains on cordial terms with the president, despite his allegatition that she was too "clingy," and that he needed more "space" for "personal growth." After recently losing her bid to unseat Democratic Sen. Bill Nelson, Harris has bounced back in her new job as an Amway Distributor.

allhatnocattle.net: Katherine Harris Returns to the House Floor
Crooks and Liars: Rep. Michele Bachmann Hearts Bush
Star Tribune: C.J.: Brush with greatness was more of a clutch and grab
USNews.com: And You Thought Katherine Harris Lost
michelebachmann.com: The Scoop on President Bush's Visit
Minneapolis Star Tribune: Bachmann: Second BJ kiss for Bush
dumpbachmann.blogspot.com: Dump Michele Bachmann
youtube.com: Michele Bachmann Really Glad To Meet Bush
youtube.com: Michele Bachmann's Olbermann Worse
youtube.com: Michele Bachmann Interviewed by Bill Bennett
youtube.com: Michele Bachmann doesn't believe in global warming
youtube.com: Bachmann Says She is "A Fool For Christ"

See All Hat No Cattle for the original Katherine Harris business card joke. The photo of the hand with a business card is from here. the Mary Kay joke goes back a ways.

Labels: Katherine Harris, Michele Bachmann