Minister of Science and Chief Protector of the Faith

Friday, February 02, 2007

Cartoon Network now listed as a terrorist organization by Homeland Security

The new face of Al Queda: Lean, mean and Aquateen.

The latest attack on America by Al Queda forces brazenly took place on American soil yesterday in Boston, Massachusetts. Dozens of Al Queda cartoon character operatives were rounded up by Homeland Security and local police. This most recent affront to the Fatherland homeland was perpetrated by a sub-sect of Al Queda, of the religious order of mooninites.

President Bush and Vice-President Cheny have both expressed their relief that this matter has been cleared up without bloodshed. "I sure am glad that we have a supply of duct tape and plastic sheeting at the White House," First Lady Laura Bush said with a sigh of relief.

The Al Queda operatives were in place for weeks before being spotted by the Boston's vigilant police force. "Who knows what kind of havoc these cartoon characters could have wrought if they had been allowed to continue their nefarious plot." Said Police Chief Fife. The terrorist plot also had operatives in place in New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, Atlanta, Seattle, Portland, Austin, San Francisco, and Philadelphia.

"They are going to have to pay for this," Homeland Security Chief Dagwood Bumstead said. "My corprate masters are not going to put up with this sort of thing!"

The ACLU has filed a lawsuit on behalf of Al Queda, claiming that this is a case of Cartoon character discrimination. "If these had been recognized corporate cartoon character such as Dilbert or Beetle Bailey, this sort of thing would never have happened." Said ACLU representative Betty Rubble.


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At Sat Feb 03, 01:31:00 PM, Blogger Omnipotent Poobah said...

Given the cartoonish nature of these "terrists", maybe a supply of PB&J might be the better protection.

At Sun Feb 04, 06:20:00 AM, Blogger Dr. Zaius said...

LOL! With a glass of milk and a cookie for after. But wait - wouldn't that be "coddling the 'terrorists?'"

At Mon Feb 05, 12:17:00 PM, Blogger Kelly the dog said...

Love it. Gave you another link.

At Tue Feb 06, 12:02:00 AM, Blogger Dr. Zaius said...

Thank you, this meager site can use all of the help it can get.

I must say that I heartily approve of your use of a picture Captain Kirk in one of your recent posts. What the world needs now is more William Shatner, and less George Bush. Shatner for president!


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