Minister of Science and Chief Protector of the Faith

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Election Update for September 12, 2007 - "Because the World is not Enough..."


My running mate, Germaine Gregarious, has been hitting the campaign trail with great vigor after her recent vacation. Aside from offering some unique insight into Sen. Larry Craig, she has been wading through some of the murkier elements of the media.

Ms. Gregarious seems to have gotten the better of Bill O'Reilly during her interview on the The O’Reilly Factor without even trying. She didn't even have to use a loofah!

In his latest attempt to influence the mainstream media, the Evil Dr. Monkerstein created an army of Robot Army of Jimmy Olsens! These foul formations of creepy cub reporters attempted to kidnap me on my way to the Rumpus Room...

Things were looking pretty grim for yours truly! Luckily, Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator and his trusty ship, the Danger Sled, intervened and saved the day! After we conquered Dr. Monkerstein's evil Press Conference of Doom...

We retired for Mai Tai's in the Rumpus Room! My running mate Germaine Gregarious threw a great party for Jon and the rest of the gang.

Although she had a wonderful time, Freida Bee seems to have forgotten the majority of the evening. After she arrived with a half kilo of banana peels, things got a bit out of hand! It was like watching Tippi Hedren in an Alfred Hitchcock/Woody Allen movie. Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator brought Jan the Intergalactic Aviator, and two of them danced a wicked two-step to Ms. Germaine's house band, the Crypt Kicker Five. Later, Jon had a little accident on the rug behind the credenza.

Jon Sent each of the prospective candidates a delicious banana cream pie! Dr. Monkerstein was especially appreciative, and although I had a little trouble getting it out of the box, I would like to personally thank Jon. Do you think that you could send another? Make it two!

Professor Xavier has been cooking up some rather deliberately offensive video games. Also, Freida Bee has also insulted both monkeys and apes by comparing them to the most foul human of them all. It is amusing how humans continually try to disassociate themselves from the evil of their own president by comparing him to an ape or a monkey. Even Monkerstein is not that evil!

Dr. Monkerstein gave a rousing stump speech about his personal political philosophy, and then was off to the beach for some fun in the sun.

After his return, the doctor has been moonlighting as a high profile White House correspondent. He has been planning a going away party for Tony Snow and Karl Rove!

Samurai Frog has been briefly discussing his "negotiations" with the Martians. As you can see from this photo, the special effect that he has employed for his Tardis have greatly improved. You can hardly see the wires! The Fearsome Fraudulent Frog has also been molesting kittens, and has yet to comment on Ms. Gregarius' ski outfit.

After being attacked by the four hounds of hell, Sleestak is happy to see that his wife has finally returned from the far off land of Stupidlandia.

After being ignored by the media in favor of his running mate Marcia Brady, Dr. Smith has been sulking and spending entirely too much time with Buffy and Mr. French, if you ask me.

Meanwhile, Ms. Greagarious and I have retired to the Zen Room. We are hard at work on our campaign strategy, and preparing for our next adventure. Bye for now!


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At Wed Sep 12, 09:07:00 AM, Blogger Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Lies, all lies.

At Wed Sep 12, 09:27:00 AM, Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

I see that some of the candidates are still going strong with their candidacies doing stuff like selecting running mates and fighting giant robots, while others seem to be busy doing less presidential stuff...

At Wed Sep 12, 11:36:00 AM, Blogger Fade said...

There are no human words to convey the greatness of this post

At Wed Sep 12, 06:38:00 PM, Blogger Germaine Gregarious said...

I luuuuuv the new campaign poster, Dr. Z! Thanks for the props!

At Wed Sep 12, 11:52:00 PM, Blogger Freida Bee said...

Lies, all lies.

Actually, I pulled the Ronald Reagan defense, so I can't refute the validity of your claim. Nor can I confirm it.

At Thu Sep 13, 06:31:00 AM, Blogger Dr. Zaius said...

Dr. Monkerstein: Your words are not very convincing, Dr. Monkerstein. You will have to do better than that.

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator: Yes, but everybody has been on vacation and such.

Fade: That is such a nice thing to say! I am kind of overwhelmed, Fade. Thank you.

Germaine Gregarious: Indeed! We must work out some more campaign materials.

Freida Bee: Your answer would lead one to believe that you have the makings of a great politician. Perhaps you should run...


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