Minister of Science and Chief Protector of the Faith

Monday, September 03, 2007

Methinks the Lady Doth Protest Too Much...

Tucker Carlson is muy macho!

During a discussion of Sen. Larry Craig's not-gayness, Political news pundit Tucker Carlson proclaimed his own not-gayness by stating that he had once been solicited is in a men's restroom. He then went and got one of his not-gay friends and two of them went back to the men's room to defend his not-gay honor. Let it be known that Tucker Carlson is very serious about his not-gayness. He wants the public to know that he is very extra-macho. He is so very extra-macho that when he is unable to beat up a homosexual on his own, he will get one of his not-gay friends to beat up the nasty gay person for him. Bask in Tucker Carlson's not-gayness on YouTube!

Here is the latest story from Media Matters:

Tuesday evening, during an on-air discussion about Sen. Larry Craig's arrest, MSNBC host Tucker Carlson recounted a mid-1980s incident in which, according to Carlson, he and a friend slammed a man's head against a bathroom stall because the man had "bothered" Carlson.

While Carlson described hitting the man's head "against the stall," he broke into a broad smile, barely stifling a laugh. At least one of his MSNBC colleagues who were on the air at the same time -- Dan Abrams and Joe Scarborough -- laughed out loud. (Neither man was visible on-screen at that precise moment, but the uproarious laughter that greeted Carlson's comments indicate that at least one of them found it hilarious. Watch the video for yourself.)

Carlson's boast that he and a friend physically assaulted a man who he said "bothered" him quickly drew criticism, and Carlson changed his story the next day. In an email statement Media Matters for America received from an MSNBC spokesperson, Carlson said... Read the rest at Media Matters

The first Media Matters story about the segment has a transcript of the show.

UPDATE: Dee Loralei has found this great link, Savior Of The Men's Room.

Tucker Carlson is very not gay!

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At Mon Sep 03, 11:10:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


At Mon Sep 03, 03:02:00 PM, Blogger FranIAm said...

I am, for one, so relieved. Poor poor Tucker.

Mother Tucker is really what I am thinking.

At Mon Sep 03, 07:32:00 PM, Anonymous Dee Loralei said...

Dr Z, thought you'd get a kick out of this by Dennis Perrin. "Thank you Tucker, for making it safe to poop again."

At Mon Sep 03, 09:03:00 PM, Blogger Distributorcap said...

only very NOT gay people appear on Dancing with the Stars

At Mon Sep 03, 10:18:00 PM, Anonymous Omnipotent Poobah said...

Well, I'm glad we have that all cleared up. Is Andy Dick not gay too?

At Mon Sep 03, 11:46:00 PM, Blogger Freida Bee said...

Dr. Z. - Today I am wondering if you actully wear a monkey mask. Really, 'cause Tucker called me tonight and asked me to ask you if he could borrow it. He said he knew all the ladies loved you and he needed a little boost since they all think he's gay. Maybe you should let him borrow it sometime.

At Tue Sep 04, 12:21:00 PM, Blogger Dr. Zaius said...

As I mentioned over At Blue Gal's, I thought that the humor of Tucker Calson's statements were only tangentially about homosexuality. The funniest part about Tucker's statements was that he was boasting the equivalent of "MY father invented the Toaster Strudel." He was the math nerd telling the football players that "MY homophobia is bigger than YOUR homophobia."

Anonymous: Aside from his asinine statements, I miss the bow tie. He was kind of like an evil Howdy Doody.

FranIAm: LOL! "Mother Tucker is really what I am thinking." Very witty and astute.

Dee Loralei: Ha! I thought that you provided a great link, I put it in the post.

Distributorcap: Yes! They are the not-gayest of them all!

Omnipotent Poobah: I don't know. I refuse to watch his crap! Except that movie where he played Santa. I though that was pretty funny.

Freida Bee: Madam, you cut me to the quick. I am neither a monkey, nor wearing a mask. If Tucker called you tonight, I doubt his actual intentions involved him actually wearing something. It is more likely that he was attempting to prove his not-gayness with the most lovely women in the country, hence his phone call to you.

At Tue Sep 04, 10:31:00 PM, Blogger Freida Bee said...

My ignorance of monkey matters is showing and I am blushing and it's not from Tucker's call.

At Wed Sep 05, 02:48:00 AM, Blogger Dr. Zaius said...



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