Dr. Zaius here, with your election update for today. The campaign trail is fraught with many hazards and pitfalls, but in the end the eternal quest for power all boils down to one thing... Mindless prattle!
Dr. Monkerstein is also having some bad dreams. He invited me over to his place to have some delicious Boston cream pie (Mmm! Two slices, please!), and then proceeded to have a series of Mai Tai induced hallucinations
in which he and Pauly Shore stole some bananas from Che Guevara, or something like that. (He was not speaking very clearly at the time.) The evil Monkerstein then attempted to steal Jess Wundrun's
Blogger Mojo by pulling a "Delilah" on Jess' beautiful tresses. Monkerstein never could hold his liquor.
After announcing his candidacy
, iSplotchy has been spending his days helping out the president at Crawford Ranch. iSplotchy's recent version of the "Begging the Question" Fallacy
(an old Republican standby) has been very popular with
the bewildered and deluded
many Bush supporters. Not to be fooled by iSplotchy's casual appearance, Ms. Gregarious has uncovered his actual purpose.
Although entering the race late into the election cycle, iSplotchy has still mananged to garner a lot of support from his party. Rumors of iSplotchy having an alleged whirlwind romance with Jenna Bush can be neither confirmed or denied.
Pictured here wearing the crushing weight of the military industrial complex, Tony Stark is still looking for a running mate. After turning down two of his fellow Haliburton lobbyists,
he has found that Reed Richard's wife
wears the pants in the family, and Stark will probably get no support from the religious right.
Samurai Frog now resides on Mars,
and has accepted a position as a part-time security guard for Martian comic book conventions. Good luck in your new position!
As the election grows nearer, all of the candidates have been hitting the campaign trail with their own individual forms of rhetoric and innuendo.
Meanwhile, Ms. Greagarious and I have retired to the Ball Room
. We are hard at work on our campaign strategy, and preparing for our next adventure.