Minister of Science and Chief Protector of the Faith

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

America is Shocked by the Horrible Scourge of "Monkey Love"!


American families are being destroyed by the unspeakable degradation of "Monkey Love".

The foul disease that leads to Sin - Degradation - Insanity!

"Monkey Love" is Public Enemy Number One!

"Monkey Love"
Women cry because of it - men die for want of it!

But America is stemming the foul tide of "Monkey Love"...
Now is the time to stand up to this evil mental disorder!

The only known cure for the vile scourge of "Monkey Love" is...
The only known cure for the vile scourge of 'Monkey Love' is... Happy Underpants!
Happy Underpants!


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At Tue Jan 22, 08:56:00 AM, Blogger Übermilf said...

How come monkeys get all the love? I thought they called you guys "Great Apes" for a reason.

I never heard anybody called a "great monkey."

At Tue Jan 22, 09:09:00 AM, Blogger Anaïs Nohant said...

Heh...I'm not sure even the most desirable of Underpants could defeat the seductive lure of Monkey Love!

At Tue Jan 22, 10:25:00 AM, Blogger Jess Wundrun said...

monkey love sounds itchy.

And the last time I had itchy lovin' I needed a prescription for some ointment.

Are these happy underpants also magical?

Just wondering.

At Tue Jan 22, 10:50:00 AM, Blogger Dean Wormer said...

I had someone ask me if I had Monkey Love.

It turns out it was just a banana in my pocket.


At Tue Jan 22, 10:50:00 AM, Blogger Dean Wormer said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

At Tue Jan 22, 11:29:00 AM, Blogger Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

This post if filled with nothing but lies, untruths, and distortions! Your scare tactics are reminiscent of your buddies Bush and Cheney.

At Tue Jan 22, 01:42:00 PM, Anonymous AgentOrange said...

Let's not go bananas! Obviously it can't be exlained because it's unspeakable. But seriously, America's always been about monkey sex and power. Maybe that was money, sex, and power(Sorry to confuse those).

At Tue Jan 22, 02:53:00 PM, Blogger dguzman said...

If it's a choice between meatloaf and MonkeyLove, I'll take the MonkeyLove!

At Tue Jan 22, 03:20:00 PM, Blogger Germaine Gregarious said...

A chicken in every pot! Happiness in every pair of Hanes!

MonkeyLove is good for a night, but for a feeling that lasts, it's happy underpants!

At Tue Jan 22, 04:48:00 PM, Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Dun dun dun
Another one's monkey love
Dun dun dun
Another one's monkey love
Oh another one's gone another one's gone
Another one's monkey love

Hey, gonna get you happy underpants
Another one's monkey love!

At Tue Jan 22, 08:09:00 PM, Blogger FranIAm said...

Monkey love- my life will never be the same!

At Tue Jan 22, 08:20:00 PM, Blogger pidomon said...

i have monkey love in my happy underpants.

Best of both worlds

At Tue Jan 22, 10:07:00 PM, Blogger Mark said...

Put a towel on it ... do some pushups, maybe it will go away.

At Wed Jan 23, 01:18:00 AM, Blogger GETkristiLOVE said...

This is like watching Fox news. The numbers are all skewed. I happen to know that Monkey Love has saved a lot of marriages!

At Wed Jan 23, 08:38:00 AM, Blogger Dr. Zaius said...

Übermilf: So very true. Apes are indeed great, whereas monkeys merely fling poo. One must not confuse "Monkey Love" with the true expression of love, which is of course Happy Underpants!

Anaïs Nohant: You scoff now, but the ravages of "Monkey Love" will be the ruin of all who fall into it's seductive power!

Jess Wundrun: The sheer itchiness of the last stages of the disorder known as "Monkey Love" is beyond description! Whereas the rich, creamy wholesomeness of the magic of Happy Underpants is undeniable.

Dean Wormer: Ha! Good one.

Dr. Monkerstein: You would not know the truth if it bit you on your mind control fez, Dr. Monkerstein! Your foul plan to corrupt America's youth with your "Monkey Love" biological warfare has been unseated by my campaign of wholesome Happy Underpants!

AgentOrange: Hmm... It would seem that you are a bit confused. Regardless of the past, America will now be all about Happy Underpants, and then money, sex, and power. We must get our priorities straight!

Dguzman: Wake up and read the meatloaf, Dguzman. The medical disorder "Monkey Love" is a recipe for disaster!

Germaine Gregarious: Indeed. In this cold, desolate world - Happy Underpants are the only salvation for a new democracy! The sad truth of the matter is that the few moments of pleasure that "Monkey Love" might afford a hapless citizen, the rich, creamy goodness of Happy Underpants is a feeling that lasts a lifetime!

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator: Woo-Hoo! Whatever. Give us a shout when the shuttle lands, Jon.

FranIAm: That's right. Your life will never be the same if you follow the insidious path of "Monkey Love". the vile scourge of "Monkey Love" can only lead to sin, degradation and insanity!

Pidomon: Happily, the protective powers of Happy Underpants should afford you complete protection from the foul, unspeakable degradation of "Monkey Love".

Mark: I wish it was that simple, but we must not ignore the dreadful effects that "Monkey Love" has upon America's youth. We must fight back against this terrible disorder -with Happy Underpants!

GETkristiLOVE: Really? Do tell. Methinks the lady doth protest too much.

At Wed Jan 23, 12:11:00 PM, Blogger Swinebread said...

Sad but true

At Wed Jan 23, 02:28:00 PM, Blogger Comrade Kevin said...

Munkie luv. I has it!

At Thu Jan 24, 06:27:00 AM, Blogger Dr. Zaius said...

Swinebread: Yep. You can lead a monkey to Happy Underpants, but you can't make him wear them.

Comrade Kevin: Have no fear! Happy Underpants will cure you of this insidious disorder!

At Thu Jan 24, 07:46:00 AM, Anonymous AgentOrange said...

"Yep. You can lead a monkey to Happy Underpants, but you can't make him wear them."

As Britney Spears has plainly shown. That girl needs Monkey Love Rehab!

Of course, according to recent photo's, her underpants are bloody unhappy!

At Fri Jan 25, 06:52:00 AM, Blogger Dr. Zaius said...

Unhappy? They freakin' absent!


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