Minister of Science and Chief Protector of the Faith

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

What Was On TV Last Night

Viva Las Vegas
Viva Las Vegas (trailer)
Viva Las Vegas (Main Title)
Viva Las Vegas
Viva Las Vegas - C'mon Everybody
The Lady Loves Me
Viva Las Vegas - What'd I Say [ 2 ]
Live A Little, Love A Little
Live A Little, Love A Little (Main Title)
A Little Less Conversation
Edge Of Reality
Almost In Love

Ann MaragretYesterday Turner Classic Movies played several Elvis Presley movies back to back. Now, I when I was kid watching the 3:30 movie after school to avoid doing homework, I loved all of the Annette Funicello Beach movies because of the bikinis and Eric Von Zipper and all of the stupid jokes and stuff. I never really liked the Elvis Presley movies because I thought that they were too "mushy." Now I want all the "mushy" I can get!

Dick Cheney in Harum ScarumDick Cheney in Harum ScarumI thought that I would give Elvis a chance today since I was getting really tired of the news. Some of these movies are great! I loved "Viva Las Vegas". I thought that Ann Margaret stole the whole picture! Her go go dancing in these two songs, "What'd I Say" and "C'mon Everybody", was groovalicious! And her duet with Elvis singing "The Lady Loves Me" was quite endearing. I will never, ever think of Ann Margret as Roger Daltrey's mother again.

dream sequenceAnother great scene was Elvis singing the song "Edge Of Reality" from the dream sequence in the film "Live A Little, Love A Little". Normally I would think of somebody singing and dancing while wearing shiny dacron jammies as being kind of silly, but he makes them work. Also, the mini skirts, go go dancing and the complete lack of neckties present during the party where Elvis sings, "A Little Less Conversation", just proves what a cool dude he is. He also demonstrates one of the first portable computers, which has a neat spinny thing on top.

Harum Scarum
Harum Scarum (Trailer)
Shake That Tambourine
Belly Dance
Hey Little Girl
'Spinout' - Am I Ready

Harum ScarumThe present U.S. policies in the Middle East start to make a lot more sense if you watch the trailer for the film "Harum Scarum". We shall kung-fu and karate chop our way into the hearts and minds of these godless heathens! Elvis Presley is singing secret agent Johnny Tyrone, "He Who Holds Death with His Hands!" Elvis gets this nickname because in the begining of the film, he kills a kitty with his bare hands! No wonder President Nixon hired Elvis to run the CIA.

Some of the lyrics and dialog is quite masterful. For example, in the song Shake That Tamborine, (see window above for video) Elvis sings, "Shake the little tamborine, shake a-ring a jing-jing a-ling, shake, shake my little dancin' queen, shake that tamborine, that tamborine!" Elvis is clearly on message, and true to form.

Dick Cheney in Harum ScarumDick Cheney in Harum ScarumDick Cheney's character is represented by Sinan, Lord of the Assasins. (played by Theodore Marcuse, that creepy guy that played Archduke Otto on the TV show "The Monkees".) Throughout the film, the character that represents Bill Kristol of the Project for the New American Century says that all of the country's problems can be cured with American Foreign Aid. (Some say that this dialog is edited out of this film quite often.) Oh, my gawd! If only we had heeded Bill's advice sooner. All's they wanted was a Pepsi, and we wouldn't give it to them!

There was a scene where Elvis sings a love song to a little orphan girl that is belly dancing for his amusement (see window above for video, you have to sit through a brief clip of the beginning credits for some reason) that I thought was kind of creepy, even by my left-wing, bleeding heart, pinko standards. The dialog goes like this:

Sari: Someday Sari will grow to be a beautiful slave girl too, Noble Master.
Elvis: No. A real heartbreaker, but never a slavegirl!
Sari: Slavegirl, yes! and one of vast accomplishment! Oh - And now please watch closely...

As she begins to dance, Elvis breaks into an impromptu love song...

Hey, little girl, you sure look cute to me
Hey little girl, you sure are cute to me
Come up a little closer, so I can see
Hold it baby now stay right where you are
Hey little girl you oughta be a movie star

All right...

Hey little girl, come on and dance with me
You're about the cutest thing I ever did see
Hey little girl, I'd like to take you home
Come on, come on, come on I want you for my very own

All right...hoo!...hoo!..

Hey little girl, you better hang on tight
A-won't you swing it to the left,
and shake it to the right
Hey little girl, you know your lookin' fine
Get ready honey let's go just-a one more time

All right...hoo!...hoo!

All right, all right all right....huh!

I think that I object to that last little "Huh!" the most. If that wasn't bad enough, during the entire dance number, there was a goat was present!

Oh, the humanity...

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At Wed Jan 09, 04:05:00 PM, Blogger Distributorcap said...

try "Change of Habit"
unwatchable Elvis..........and Mary Tyler Moore as a nun!

At Wed Jan 09, 05:59:00 PM, Blogger Jess Wundrun said...

I tuned in for a little bit of Kissing Cousins in the morning.

Most notable thing about it was a blond Elvis. I have heard that Elvis was actually a blond, but dyed his hair black to be more rock n' roll, less Pat Boone.

I'd have to say that was a pretty good choice.

At Wed Jan 09, 11:51:00 PM, Blogger Bubs said...

What a great post! You've kept my Elvis birthday celebration going an extra day, and I can't thank you enough for that. AND I get Ann Margaret too!

TCB man.

At Thu Jan 10, 07:51:00 AM, Blogger Randal Graves said...

Holy fuck, this completely ruled. But that goat, was Elvis a closet minion of the Dark Lord? No, not Satan, sillies, Dick Cheney!

At Thu Jan 10, 11:12:00 AM, Blogger Dean Wormer said...

Wasn't Theodore Marcuse also in an episode of classic Trek? He played a thing made out of pipe cleaners that was married to another thing made ouf of pipe cleaners that could change into a giant black cat.

At Thu Jan 10, 02:21:00 PM, Blogger Kelly the dog said...


At Fri Jan 11, 03:25:00 AM, Blogger Dr. Zaius said...

Distributorcap Ack! I've never heard of it! Poor Mary Tyler Moore. Did she fly?

Jess Wundrun I heard the same thing about Winona Ryder. I've always wanted to have hair just like Superman. You know, deep black with a dark blue highlight. As it is, I would settle for hair that just stays combed. Darn cowlicks!

Bubs: You know. I did not even realize that it was Elvis' birthday until I looked up your posts that you mentioned! [ 1,
2 ] Lik e your quote, "Before Elvis there was nothing." John Lennon. Ann Margaret is amazing!

Randal Graves: A satan contolled goat? It's possible. As I mentioned, Dick Cheney's charater was definately portrayed in the film.

Dean Wormer: Yes, he did play the pipe cleaner alien on the Star Trek episode, "Cat's Paw! (Written by Robert Block, no less.) Good eye! (I have returned your blogroll, thank you!)

Kelly the dog :o)


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