Press Coverage of John McCain's Trip to Columbia
Posing as a FARC rebel, John McCain tricked a gang of armed desperadoes into handing over 15 hostages during a rescue mission deep in Colombia's unforgiving jungle. Using only a machine gun, a swiss army knife and his constantly wavering political positions, McCain rescued the hostages Wednesday as part of a perfectly executed commando mission.
"I didn't do anything that any real American wouldn't do," said McCain modestly when questioned about his incredible achievement. Members of McCain's staff agreed that the presidential candidate's secret mission was indeed "awesome". Attempts were made to contact the media's ability to seperate fact from fawning, but they were unavailable for questioning at this time.
"I didn't do anything that any real American wouldn't do," said McCain modestly when questioned about his incredible achievement. Members of McCain's staff agreed that the presidential candidate's secret mission was indeed "awesome". Attempts were made to contact the media's ability to seperate fact from fawning, but they were unavailable for questioning at this time.
12 Comments:
...FARC....I'm comin' to get you...
What you call hell, he calls marriage to C-word.
Thanks for making me laugh out loud. Great post!
Using only a machine gun, a swiss army knife and his constantly wavering political positions...
That's how you keep 'em distracted until you can put the death grip on 'em.
In October he will, single-handedly, capture Bin Laden using a spork and a pickled Viet Cong foreskin.
(Oops! Gotta run! Musta been something I ate...)
Man, McCain did alot of pushups in the Hanoi Hilton apparently! That's why he can't raise his arms above his head, too many muscles under the suits! AHA!
He just told them to Farc off and he called their women words that begin with the letter "C"...
Damn Fran beat me to it! ;p
Wait, I thought Farc was a comedy website that featured wacky photoshopped pictures. Why are they taking hostages?
Next time on Adventures of the Super Awesome Senator McCain...
While in Latin America Senator McCain slipped into Venezuela and sucked up all their oil into his mighty lungs. Thus liberating our oil from being held hostage underneath the earth of those evil Latin socialists.
He's making the world safe for globalization.
He's also making the world safe for privatization. He and Cheney, who will be his vice presnut, plan to privative the air and sell it back to the Venezuelans.
Randal Graves: Ha! A marriage of convenient means, to be sure. ;o)
Dr. Monkerstein: Thanks, Dr. Monkerstein!
Dean Wormer: McCain's death grip is six ways to awesome! His staff members will attest to this.
Spirula: Hee hee! I love sporks!
Bradda: That's kind of a mean thing to say, actually. McCain's service to his country is very real and tangible, even if he is a major moron now. :o)
FranIAm: Yep! McCain loves women voters! Just not their viewpoints...
Dusty: Hee hee!
Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator: Hmm... The Columbian link to wacky photoshopped pictures seems to be deeper than previously suspected...
MWB: Ack! He lives and breathes his oily lobbyist supporters!
Übermilf: Yay! That's the spirit! Screw the American worker!
Utah Savage: I wonder if we can sell bottled hot air to the Republicans? Oh, wait! That's what the MSM does every day!
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