Minister of Science and Chief Protector of the Faith

Monday, January 26, 2009

Bush's Faith-Based initiatives declared a Success, With the Mighty Miracle Manna Loaf!

 
Behold the mighty Miracle Manna Loaf! [ 2 ] This is what would have been the future school lunch program if Republicans still ran the country. The cracker should certainly help children with their multiplication tables - It's God's own multiplication cracker! I am all for things that are extra Jesus-a-licious, but I am always a little leery of anybody that says that they have "released a mighty annointing" upon anything, especially food.


Now, as annoying as his holiness Peter Popoff [ 2 ] and his Miracle Manna Loaf may be (I just saw it on television, and trust me - it's mighty annoying), This bit of news is actually a bit more troublesome...

the Republicans are making a last ditch effort to propmote their Faith-Based initiatives in a recently released report, despite the program's obvious failures.

The report, titled "Innovations in Compassion," states that George Bush's failed program was in fact a huge success. In the face of certain defeat, they have just declared victory and skulked away.

According to Americans United For the Separation of Church and State executive director, Rev. Barry W. Lynn, "The Bush initiative played crass politics with social service funding and jeopardized civil rights and civil liberties. All the PR spin in the world can't turn this monumental Bush failure into a success. President Bush should have gotten the Golden Globe, for playing a 'compassionate conservative' while doing precious little to actually help disadvantaged Americans."

You just know that some smarmy congressman is going to hold up this stupid report in session and use it to "prove" the worth of some cockamamie scheme, like making Peter Popoff's mighty Miracle Manna Loaf a mandatory part of the national school lunch program.

MORE CHRISTERIFFIC<br />THAN THE EUCHARIST!
 

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9 Comments:

At Mon Jan 26, 12:34:00 PM, Blogger ThoughtCriminal said...

Spread a little Deviled Ham on the Miracle Manna Cracker and you have the perfect survival snack for bunker!

 
At Mon Jan 26, 03:27:00 PM, Blogger Lisa said...

I would like to see not one more dime, not one more penny of taxpayer money spent on this hokum.

 
At Mon Jan 26, 08:38:00 PM, Blogger D. Debil said...

I have it on good authority that manna is fried pork skins.

God. What a kidder.


=

 
At Mon Jan 26, 10:05:00 PM, Blogger Odile said...

That is soylent, don´t let them fool you... this is just the beginning º_O

 
At Tue Jan 27, 07:56:00 PM, Blogger Übermilf said...

Peter Popoff is wasting one of the best porn star names I've ever heard.

 
At Wed Jan 28, 06:06:00 AM, Blogger Dr. Zaius said...

ThoughtCriminal: It's also good with Cheez Whiz!

Lisa: Me too.

D. Debil: Really? I thought it was chocolate cake!

Odile: Eek! Manna from heaven is PEOPLE!

Übermilf: Hee hee! Or maymbe the name of some kind of toaster strudel.

 
At Wed Jan 28, 10:31:00 PM, Blogger Jang-chub Ozer said...

"I accept all major credit cards" - man lives not by bread alone?

 
At Thu Jan 29, 10:29:00 AM, Blogger dmarks said...

Researchers thing that Manna was likely one of the two following substances:

1) Powdered edible gold.

2) Bugshit

I doubt this guy's manna stuff contains any of that. It sounds a lot like the punishment loaf that many prison serve.

 
At Thu Jan 29, 09:08:00 PM, Blogger Jaliya said...

Peter Popoff Pinches a Miracle Manna Loaf!

(Still laughing like a maniac!)

 

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