Minister of Science and Chief Protector of the Faith

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Slutty Is the New Self Righteous!


As we learned recently from Former Miss California Carrie Prejean's very special Address to the Value Voter Summit, Ms. Prejean is not like the rest of us. God has chosen her for a special purpose. She was chosen by God to be "the one to stick up for him, and for the truth"! And God knew that she was the one that was strong enough to get through "all of the junk that she had to get through."

Ms. Prejean no longer aspires to the paltry and tarnished crown of Miss California or Miss Universe. No! God has a crown for her that is far more super duper! "Even though I didn't win the crown that night," said Prejean, tearing up, "I know the Lord has so much of a bigger crown in heaven for me." So I guess she will get to wear a crown in heaven, just like Jesus!

Ms. Prejean's address to the Value Voter Summit was not the first suggestion that we mortals got that God had a special purpose for her here on Earth. Back in 2008, before God chose Ms. Prejean to lose the Miss USA and get fired from the Miss California pagaent to defend the sanctity of marriage and defeat the scourge of anti-opposite marriage, he asked her to model a complete line of superhero-inspired stripper costumes!


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At Thu Sep 24, 07:53:00 PM, Blogger daveawayfromhome said...

This makes me think of the line from The Incredibles: If everyone is special in heaven, then no one is special.
Which then leads me to the conclussion that Heaven, being a place where everyone is special, is obviously a haven of socialists, so no decent American should want to go there.

Which explains a lot, really.

At Thu Sep 24, 08:19:00 PM, Blogger Seeing Eye Chick said...

Slutty Satanic Halloween Suits for Jesus? Wow that is mmmm righteo--er-um Ironic?

Maybe God chose her to exemplify pride as a sin? Maybe that is her big mission, which is to be that self righteous ass, that we have to work to not hate, so that we can remind ourselves not to be that way. Like Her.

But you know. A lot of Christian Women send weird mixed signals about sex. Like have you ever noticed at the state faires they always have those outfits where you can dress your Tween Girl Child up like a "Saloon Girl" and this is advertised as family friendly and age appropriate when in actuality you are dressing your girl child up like a prairie Hooker? That the feathers and hats were the equivalent of Spandex and pasties back in the day?
Just saying.

Prajean is the perfect example of that Psychotic relationship that many American Christians {esp Women} have with sex and sexual identity.

Wish I could act surprised.

At Fri Sep 25, 08:33:00 AM, Blogger sunshine said...

For my birthday next year (or perhaps as a Christmas gift this year...) I want you to photoshop MY head onto one of those pictures. I prefer the black boots.. thanks!

When I get to hell, Satan promised to give me a body.. just like that! :) Way better than a crown.


At Fri Sep 25, 10:36:00 AM, Blogger Randal Graves said...

For the record, I'd like to state that I'm in favor of superhero-inspired stripper costumes for Halloween, as long as they're for Satan, not Jesus.

At Fri Sep 25, 04:41:00 PM, Blogger Sleestak said...

She's already sagging. She's about done.

At Fri Sep 25, 05:08:00 PM, Blogger Tea Break said...

God likes strippers too? Proof positive that settles the old question: Is god a man?

At Tue Sep 29, 11:47:00 AM, Blogger Dr. Zaius said...

daveawayfromhome: Jeepers, if heaven is full of socialists, the hell must be full of Republicans! But we knew that already, didn't we? ;o)

Seeing Eye Chick: It can certainly be argued that if you are going to promote yourself as someone that god has chosen to spread his message, then it would probably be best to not dress like a pole dancer... ;o)

Sunshine: OK! Let me get back to you on that. I can safely perform a head transplant! Trust me, I'm a doctor.

Randal Graves: Ack! You want Dick Cheney to dress like a stripper? ;o)

Sleestak: It's not her looks but her personality that is dragging, if you ask me. ;o)

Tea Break: Indeed! And does heve a pocketful of ones? ;o)

At Wed Sep 30, 09:49:00 PM, Blogger ZIRGAR said...

She's still alive? Damn!


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