Minister of Science and Chief Protector of the Faith

Friday, March 21, 2008

He Who Stands On Tiptoe is Not Steady

John Hagee: 'My bat-shit crazy message of hate promotes the word of God far better than your bat-shit crazy message of hate!' Jaramiah Wright: 'I disagree! Your bat-shit crazy message of hate does not promote the word of God as well as my bat-shit crazy message of hate!'

He who stands on tiptoe is not steady.
He who strides forward does not go.
He who shows himself is not harmonious.
He who justifies himself is not prominent.
He who boasts of himself is not given credit.
He who brags does not endure for long.
Lao Tzu, Tao-Te Ching

The Sermon on the Mount teaches us that the exalted shall be humbled, but the humble shall be exalted.

Modesty teaches us that what is low shall be raised, and what is high shall be lowered.

Jesus teaches us love, Buddha teaches us compassion, Mohammed teaches us mercy, and all of them teach us tolerance.

Modern religion teaches us how their words can be twisted to suit just about any ridiculous human agenda.


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At Fri Mar 21, 09:56:00 AM, Blogger Claire said...

One of your best, Dr. Z.

At Fri Mar 21, 10:16:00 AM, Blogger Ubermilf said...

I wouldn't think you'd argue in favor of modesty...

Oh, wait. This isn't about showing cleavage, is it?

Carry on.

At Fri Mar 21, 10:38:00 AM, Blogger Fran said...

So very beautifully put Dr Z, an economy of language for the breadth of what you say.

Thank you.

At Fri Mar 21, 11:25:00 AM, Blogger Jess Wundrun said...

And the lawgiver? What does he donate?

Just kidding. That was extremely remarkable.

I may crib it, stick it in my wallet and hand it to my child when she asks me why we don't go to church.

(I don't mean to suggest that that is what you are promoting. But it answers her questions wonderfully. And in a way that won't throw her deeply religious grandparents off the deep end).

At Fri Mar 21, 11:29:00 AM, Blogger Angry Ballerina said...

Dude, I'm going w Jess, I'm printin that shit out.....

At Fri Mar 21, 11:40:00 AM, Blogger Randal Graves said...

Where's Michael Buffer when you need him?

At Fri Mar 21, 12:24:00 PM, Blogger Kelly the little black dog said...


At Fri Mar 21, 02:25:00 PM, Blogger dguzman said...

Nice work, sir.

At Fri Mar 21, 04:11:00 PM, Blogger Buffy said...

Simple, eloquent and so very true. Well stated!

At Fri Mar 21, 10:01:00 PM, Blogger Stardust said...

The image is awesome. Thanks for letting me "borrow" it. I added your site to my blogroll. Great blog!

At Fri Mar 21, 10:40:00 PM, Blogger Swinebread said...

I hate It! ;)

At Fri Mar 21, 11:42:00 PM, Blogger Distributorcap said...

the simple statement of Dr Z says it all.....

but why does most of America still buy it

At Sat Mar 22, 12:06:00 AM, Blogger GOPnot4me said...

Arrr' Matey, yer spot-on!
Mike Z.


At Sat Mar 22, 01:06:00 AM, Blogger Unknown said...

what's so good about friday anyway?

At Sat Mar 22, 02:46:00 AM, Blogger Unknown said...

Interesting. You are smarter than you look.

At Sat Mar 22, 03:00:00 AM, Blogger Batocchio said...

Nice job, Dr. Z.

At Sat Mar 22, 09:06:00 AM, Blogger Steve said...

well said Dr Z

At Sat Mar 22, 11:02:00 AM, Blogger Dr. Zaius said...

CDP: Thanks, CDP!

Übermilf: I think that you will find that the Zaius/Gregarious campaign is very pro-cleavage.

FranIAm: Thanks, FranIAm! **blush**

Jess Wundrun: The Lawgiver is the only true religion, of course. Humans are unable to grasp the true meaning of god and spirituality because lack they tender sensibilities inherent in the superior simian mind. (We also have the good sense to wear a fur coat and retain the use of all four thumbs, of course.)

I do hope that your daughter's deeply religious grandparents get out of the deep end of the pool soon. They are getting all pruney!

Angry Ballerina: Cool! I'm glad that you liked it.

Randal Graves: Are you ready to rumble!

Kelly the dog: Thanks, Kelly!

Dguzman: Thanks, Dguzman!

Buffy: Thanks, Buffy!

Stardust: Thanks, Stardust!

Swinebread: Ack! Everyone is a critic! Of anyone, you should like it - It's in comic book format!

Distributorcap: Two words - Easter candy!

GOPnot4me: Yay! I'm a Pastafarian too! You can tell by my French breadlocks.

Skippy: I know what you mean. It certainly didn't turn out well for Jesus!

Wyldth1ng: Thanks! Looks can be deceiving.

Batocchio: Thanks, Batocchio!

Pidomon: Thanks, Pidomon!

At Sat Mar 22, 11:46:00 AM, Blogger Freida Bee said...

Only a flower could have spoken more without words.

(Don't ask me where the hell that came from.)

It's beautiful.

At Sun Mar 23, 06:27:00 PM, Blogger Swinebread said...

I loved it, I was just so full of the hate from those two idiots I got lost for a while!

At Tue Mar 25, 12:09:00 PM, Blogger Dr. Zaius said...

Freida Bee: Mmm... I love flowers. (But I like candy better!)

Swinebread: The whole thing is ridiculous. Like they speak for anybody, especially Jesus.


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