Minister of Science and Chief Protector of the Faith

Wednesday, October 07, 2009

Tom Delay On "Dancing With the Stars"


I am sorry to hear that Tom Delay has bowed out of "Dancing With the Stars". [ 1, 2, 3 ] I actually liked Tom Delay's Samba rendition of "Why Can't We Be Friends". When he first came out and 'shook his booty', I didn't realize at first that he was doing that to show the GOP emblem on his back. I thought he was just doing that for an extra-creepy 'embarrassing-uncle-that-the-family-doesn't-talk-about-anymore' effect, as he had done in his previous performance.

As I began to realize the message that was being conveyed was one of peace between the two political parties, I have to admit that I was kind of taken aback. Also, there was a certain degree of reality in the metaphor that they were trying to create on stage, and I have to commend Delay for his attempt to deliver a bipartisan message.

Delay was dressed as one fourth of a barbershop quartet with a GOP symbol of an elephant on his back, a cultural reference that only those members of the audience that are over 65 would probably understand. In this particular outfit, I felt that his costume did a really good job of representing his party and how they are viewed by the American public right now.

His dancing partner, Cheryl Burke, wore a blue dress with white stars and the Democratic symbol of a donkey on her dress. True to form to the metaphor created by the dance number, the Democrat was younger, hipper, better looking, and did all of the work while the Republican got all of the attention.

I had not really enjoyed their previous dance number to the song "Wild Thing". Cheryl was dressed as sort of a hot samba goddess in leopard prints and a sexy bikini, while Delay was dressed as a rather frightening polyester gaucho. (I am not really sure that anybody should be allowed to wear that much fluorescent brown.) While Cheryl may be able to pull off the concept of 'Wild', I think Delay sort of came off rather tame and out of place in that particular number. Tom Delay is about as 'wild' as a crooked hedgefund banker on holiday in the Hamptons.


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At Wed Oct 07, 09:42:00 AM, Blogger zencomix said...

Fluorescent Brown made me laugh!

At Wed Oct 07, 10:08:00 AM, Blogger Jess Wundrun said...

it was polyester gaucho that got me.

At Wed Oct 07, 10:53:00 AM, Blogger Tengrain said...

Nice analysis, Dr. Z.

I think the musical choices were more humorous than meaningful, personally, but the costumes were especially appalling, and there is no way on God's Green Earth that anyone wanted to see the Bugman shake his bootie. I'm going to book an appointment with my shrink after witnessing that.



At Wed Oct 07, 11:23:00 AM, Blogger JustJoeP said...

Delay is irrelevant, and needs to crawl back into the muddy hole on the river bank from which he emerged, but I AM interested to hear Cheryl Burke's comments on what it was like being that close to such intrinsically pure evil for so long while smiling and pretending that her inadequate dance partner was actually human.

At Wed Oct 07, 11:59:00 AM, Blogger Laura said...

Who knew that Delay had something in common with Derek Zoolander..! Neither can turn left! :P

I think it's nuts that he says he had a hard time getting in touch with his feminine side. I don't find him particularly masculine. (omg.. I have to turn it off.. I can still see him dancing to Wild Thing behind the comments section here.. hang on..brb..)

K.. I'm back. In closing I would like to say that I am happy he is gone. He wouldn't have lasted much longer anyhow. Him and Debi were the two to was a good week. :P


At Thu Oct 08, 07:07:00 AM, Blogger Matthew Hubbard said...

So what about the right to a speedy trial? He's had several charges dropped, but he's still under indictment, right?

I completely forgot about these earlier quotes. It just reminds us that folks like Glenn Beck and Michele Bachmann are not just inappropriately acting out, they are maintaining a decades long tradition of right wing folks saying completely random crap.

At Thu Oct 08, 10:42:00 AM, Blogger Randal Graves said...

If someone had suggested the Bugman on this show a few years back, we all would have sent a few bucks via PayPal to help out with his/her meds.

The world is loonier than ever and that makes me happy, like living in the middle of a 3,333-ring circus. I just wish they had spicy mustard for these corndogs.

At Thu Oct 08, 08:38:00 PM, Blogger Sidhe said...

wow, he is a horrible i'm going to release my wheaties.

At Thu Oct 08, 10:04:00 PM, Blogger Unknown said...

Tom likes to party, no doubt. Too bad about those hairline fractures in his ego and his better judgement.

Tom DeLay, ("Hot Tub Tom," "The Exterminator," "The Hammer" and more recently, "DeLayed Development") in classic Texas republican fasion, started his young life out as a draft dodger, a terrible college student before moving on to failed pest control man and spectacular alcoholic + serial philanderer. Concluding with a come to Jesus 12 Step Evangelistic extravaganza and a life in politics which of course led to all the legal indictments that we have come to expect.

It has been fun watching a once respectable party like the republicans end up on dancing with the "stars." Like to see Cheney up there shakin it.

At Thu Oct 08, 11:21:00 PM, Blogger susan said...

Please tell me this wasn't real and is just one of your more hilariously inventive collages.

At Fri Oct 09, 09:38:00 AM, Blogger Dr. Zaius said...

Zencomix: It is a most unusual color, you must admit. ;o)

Jess Wundrun: I was scared of that outfit! ;o)

Tengrain: Eek! Tom Delay shaking his rear end at the camera is akin to watching your grandmother take out her false teeth and put them in a glass of water! :oO

JustJoeP: She probably had to clean her costume with oven cleaner! ;o)

Sunshine: "Who knew that Delay had something in common with Derek Zoolander..! Neither can turn left!" Ha! I hadn't noticed that! Very funny. :o)

Matty Boy: I don't know what's going on with his trial. Ever since Bush was in office, "Still under indictment" has taken on a whole new meaning... :o(

Randal Graves: Spicy mustard on corndogs? That sounds good really good... I'll have two, please!

Sidhe: I think that he probably dances about as well as he legislates. ;o)

Tea Break: Oh, my god... If President Cheney ever shows up on "Dancing With the Stars" I think that I might have to move to Canada in embarrassment! ACK! ;o)

Susan: I will have you know that all of the pictures on Zaius Nation are %100 real. (Except the ones that aren't, of course.) ;o)

At Mon Oct 19, 10:34:00 PM, Blogger ZIRGAR said...

He was no different as a politician: someone badly dancing around the truth.


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