Zaius Nation - Some Apes Are More Equal Than Others

Minister of Science and Chief Protector of the Faith

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Unfortunately, the Jedi Mind Trick Only Works on the Weak-Minded

Unfortunately, the Jedi Mind Trick only works on the weak-minded. Otherwise, we could also use it on Dick Cheney.

5 Comments:

At Wed May 30, 02:40:00 PM, Anonymous said...: A highly difficult operation. I wonder, is the evil transformed into good, or is it sucked out in a big dilation and curettage and replaced with a healthy heapin' o' good from somewhere's else?

The reason that I ask is that if one sucks the evil out of GW's brain it will surely cave in on itself like an eggshell in my foodsaver and be destroyed before the good can be pumped back in.

Either outcome considered, I guess the operation would be worth it.
At Wed May 30, 03:02:00 PM, Angry Ballerina said...: Ew god, what creepy looking fingers.
At Thu May 31, 06:59:00 AM, Dr. Zaius said...: Jess Wundrun: OK, now you are making me look words like curettage, and that's not a good thing for the Zaius-Meister. I have a feeling that the evil is replaced with equal parts of good, as indicated by what the "Jedi" aliens are saying. (They are not really Jedi, they are DC universe bit players.) Upon reflection, perhaps the evil that fills George Bush's mind is probably the only thing that has kept his skull from caving in on itself until now. It does not seem to be hampered with anything else to speak of.

Angry Ballerina: All the better to suck out evil brains with.
At Thu May 31, 09:28:00 AM, Angry Ballerina said...: Wonderful Zaius, just wonderful
At Thu May 31, 02:34:00 PM, Dr. Zaius said...: Jeepers!

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Man is a pestilence.

Dr. Zira, I must caution you. Experimental brain surgery on these creatures is one thing, and I'm all in favor of it. But to suggest that we can learn anything about the simian nature from a study of man is sheer nonsense. Man is a menace, a walking pestilence. He eats up his food supply in the forest, then migrates to our green belts and ravages our crops. The sooner he is exterminated, the better. It's a question of simian survival.

Only 1,967 years until the
Reign of Zaius!

Humans That Might Be Spared