Minister of Science and Chief Protector of the Faith

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Paris Hilton awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom

Paris Hilton awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom

The Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department has released Paris Hilton today for a 24-hour furlough on orders of the President of the United States. Hilton was flown by Air Force One to the White House to receive the nation's highest civilian award, the Presidential Medal of Freedom, for her exceptional meritorious service in the field of media obfuscation.

"Without Paris, people might actually be forced to listen to news about my administration," Bush Said. After the Ceremony, Bush and Hilton spoke with the Pope. It is rumored that Bush is seeking a position for Hilton in the papacy in exchange for her selfless work in the media.

"She really took a hit for the team!" Bush said, speaking of Hilton's recent stay in Los Angeles County jail.

When asked about her possible upcoming role in the government of the Roman Catholic Church, Hilton merely said, "Deep down, I'm really very spiritual."

Paris Hilton awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom

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6 Comments:

At Thu Jun 14, 05:31:00 PM, Blogger Ben Varkentine said...

Just great. Now all I can think about is Paris giving the president a lap dance.

 
At Thu Jun 14, 07:41:00 PM, Blogger Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Holy crap, they can time travel too?

 
At Thu Jun 14, 08:38:00 PM, Blogger Omnipotent Poobah said...

I KNEW it was a plot!

 
At Thu Jun 14, 09:33:00 PM, Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

That's hawt.

I can't believe I said that. I need to do something smart for penance.

 
At Thu Jun 14, 11:32:00 PM, Anonymous Tengrain said...

"mmmmm," murmurred Paris. "When you said, 'Eat for this is my body,' I knew we had made a love connection. Just leave the $20 on the dresser."

 
At Fri Jun 15, 02:21:00 AM, Blogger Dr. Zaius said...

Ben Varkentine: Ack! I wish you hadn't said that. Now that's all I can think of.

Dr. Monkerstein: What? What makes you think they can travel through time? Paris hilton can barely read, and President Bush can barely tie his shoes!

Omnipotent Poobah: Yes! Paris Hilton is merely another warrior of the GOP's elite Media Obfuscation Ops, or MOO for short. If it's crap, it's MOO.

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator: No need for penance. Having to put up with Paris Hilton is penance enough.

Tengrain: LOL! That's pretty funny. I can't top that!

 

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