The Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department has released Paris Hilton today for a 24-hour furlough on orders of the President of the United States. Hilton was flown by Air Force One to the White House to receive the nation's highest civilian award, the Presidential Medal of Freedom, for her exceptional meritorious service in the field of media obfuscation.
"Without Paris, people might actually be forced to listen to news about my administration," Bush Said. After the Ceremony, Bush and Hilton spoke with the Pope. It is rumored that Bush is seeking a position for Hilton in the papacy in exchange for her selfless work in the media.
"She really took a hit for the team!" Bush said, speaking of Hilton's recent stay in Los Angeles County jail.
When asked about her possible upcoming role in the government of the Roman Catholic Church, Hilton merely said, "Deep down, I'm really very spiritual."