Minister of Science and Chief Protector of the Faith

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Gay Robot-Gorilla Sex is Corrupting Our Children into an Unnatural Lifestyle!

Gay Robot-Gorilla Sex in the Military

Ack! No time for blogging today! I must do something about all of the Gay Robot-Gorilla Sex that is going on in my Ape Army! I've already lost 63 of my most cunning Arab linguists! Click here to read the heart-wrenching tale. Why can't my robots and gorillas just do those things that they are taught to be perfectly healthy, normal and natural for a soldier to do - like blowing stuff up and killing people?

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At Sat Jul 21, 10:32:00 AM, Blogger naladahc said...

The insanity that was the Morrison Doom Patrol.

Oh Doctor Zaius... you have no idea how special gay robot-gorilla sex is.

Alas, it isn't as good as gay-transforming-robot-gorilla sex is but nothing's perfect.

At Sat Jul 21, 03:04:00 PM, Blogger Alicia Morgan said...

Hi Doc - thsnks for visiting Hooterville! Got a post for you.

At Sat Jul 21, 03:08:00 PM, Anonymous mwb said...

It's the beret.

Nothing says hot wild robot loving like a beret.

At Sat Jul 21, 04:29:00 PM, Blogger angry ballerina said...

That was just......wrong......

At Sat Jul 21, 06:12:00 PM, Blogger Liberality said...

Dr. Zaius may have been kidnapped! I saw him in a flea market, mint in box, for $4.50 and a couple of his buddies were there with him. He was only the size of a GI Joe if you can believe that!

At Sat Jul 21, 09:02:00 PM, Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

You know, I didn't fight and die for my country so some disembodied brain in a jar can transfer himself into a robot and kiss his hyper intelligent monkey lover.

At Sat Jul 21, 11:19:00 PM, Blogger Julie O. said...

Just what communislamunistamphibial country that doesn't respect the rights of cyber-primate unions did you fight and die for then, Jon?

I will support a candidate who supports things having sex with other things, no matter what those things might be.

At Sun Jul 22, 08:51:00 AM, Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Julie, clearly my views were misrepresented here. I have nothing against disembodied brains encased in robot bodies having sex with hyper intelligent gorillas. In fact, I have friends who are disembodied brains encased in robot bodies who have sex with hyper intelligent gorillas. My issue here is that the disembodied brain encased in a robot body and the hyper intelligent gorilla are both villains. In my America, disembodied brains encased in robot bodies are free to have sex with hyper intelligent gorillas all they want, but if you're a villain. I will not rest, I will not stop until you are hunted down and brought to justice. Now let's go get a pizza.

At Sun Jul 22, 09:16:00 AM, Blogger Dr. Zaius said...

naladahc: The Morrison Doom Patrol? Is that where that is from? I have all of these comics that I have swiped from the internets stashed on my hard drive, but I can't place where I got (nor name the original source) for half of them. Thanks!

I'm guessing that gay robot-gorilla sex must be pretty darned special. But why did the gorilla's gum make the brain aquarium explode?

Alicia Morgan: Thanks! I'll go check it out!

MWB: Yes, because berets are French. The French are all about gay robot-gorilla sex.

Angry Ballerina: Yes, but the afterglow was nice. Have a cigarette!

Liberality: Ack! Mint in box, for $4.50?!?!? My value is receding! Apparently my stature as well, as I am only the size of a GI Joe. I hope that you paid the meager ransom of $4.50 to my kidnappers to free me!

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator: I think that is the most reasonable and intelligent thing I have ever heard you say, Jon. I like the cut of your jib, Intergalactic Gladiator!

Julie O.: As a candidate, I am all about things having sex with other things. It's is a top priority of campaign! I really like your new word - "communislamunistamphibial!" It rolls trippingly off of the tongue. Thank you for my new word for the day!

I just checked out your blog, by the way. Cool! I plagiarized one of your posts! I too am one of the Cap'n pirates. Did you get the special decoder ring in the mail yet? It's way cool!

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator: Hmm.. I think that you are moving the goal post that you originally set in this comment, Jon. No matter! I heartily approve of any paragraph that uses the phrase "disembodied brains encased in robot bodies" more than once. Music to my ears! disembodied brainwise, that is.

Speaking of disembodied brains encased in robot bodies, you are talking about Dick Cheney, right? I'll have two slices of pizza, please!

At Sun Jul 22, 09:45:00 AM, Blogger Liberality said...

I figured you'd want to know. Maybe it's mini you and you haven't received the ransom note yet.

At Sun Jul 22, 11:06:00 AM, Anonymous fairlane said...

Gay robots are clearly "misunderestimated."

The gum was a bomb meant to kill the gay robot and his gay solar powered calculator.

At Sun Jul 22, 02:46:00 PM, Blogger angry ballerina said...

After that, I think I need one.

At Sun Jul 22, 06:47:00 PM, Blogger Julie O. said...

I like the anti-villainry, pro-sex themes of your campaigns, Jon and Dr. Zaius.

There are so many quality "special needs" candidates in this election, I hope everyone wins and forms a ruling council like the Justice League, with a round table and no leader (though everyone knows Superman was really the leader).

Just one question, though: brooklyn or chicago?

At Mon Jul 23, 05:44:00 AM, Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Clearly Chicago, Julie. Chicago is home of the Cubs, the Bulls, and the NFC Champion Bears. Chicago is a place to get delicious pizza and the best hot dogs in the world. And although Brooklyn is a nice place filled with many wonderful people, my kind of town Chicago is.

At Mon Jul 23, 06:21:00 AM, Blogger Dr. Zaius said...

Liberality: Oh, dear. That is a very serious situation. Oh, well. I am sure that Homland Security will get right on that.

Fairlane: Oh, yes. That explains everything. It is all clear to me now. ;o)

Angry Ballerina: Gay robot-gorilla sex without a cigarette afterwards is like a peanut butter sandwich without a trombone!

Julie O.: I like my pizza just about any old way, as long as there are no anchovies, artichoke hearts or pineapples on it. (ick!) I'll have two slices, please!

Every body thought that Superman was the leader of the Justice League, but really ir was Saturn Girl!

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator: You sound like a Frank Sinatra song!

At Mon Jul 23, 06:36:00 PM, Blogger Julie O. said...

I've been to Chicago a couple of times. My husband proposed to me at the Buckingham Fountain and took me to dinner at The Signature Room in the Hancock Tower as the full moon rose over Lake Michigan (though we lived in Michigan at the time, my hubby vowed that no important milestones in our lives would occur in Michigan).

But I have to confess to preferring Brooklyn-style.

Dr., I am ingrained with the old-fashioned assumption that everyone knows there is an unspoken female power behind the nominally-dominant male. Sometimes I disappoint myself.

At Mon Jul 23, 06:49:00 PM, Blogger Dr. Zaius said...

Ah! But you are now conflating the subject. You are making comparisons between people from Earth with people from Titan and Krytpon. I direct you to wikipedia, which states that this about Saturn Girl,

"Her powers, in her Silver Age incarnation, appeared to be limitless: she could summon distant people, probe human, electronic and animal minds, 'push' weakened minds, and even directly control others' thoughts and emotions."

At Wed Jul 25, 01:41:00 AM, Blogger Julie O. said...

Plus there's the whole "exists one thousand years in the future" thing.

At Wed Jul 25, 06:41:00 AM, Blogger Dr. Zaius said...

Well, yes, there is that. But I am from 1,971 years years in the future, and for an orangutan world leader from the future, I'm perfectly normal!


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