Minister of Science and Chief Protector of the Faith

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Election Update for August 14th, 2007 - 'Cooking Up a Delicious Plate of Crow'

 

Sleestak is being stalked by a serial killer in downtown Miami! See if you can guess who the killer is by watching this dramatic video! Also, Sleestak gets his campaign message out about what real Americans in America know to be sacred and truly American!


Jess Wundrun reports that Dr. Monkerstein was captured in downtown Madison, WI earlier in the week. Dr. Monkerstein reportedly bit a bystander outside State Street Brats. Authorities spent hours searching the State Street area for Dr. Monkerstein, who was wearing a diaper at the time of his arrest. His companion, Senator David Vitter (R-LA) had already fled the area. Jess also has exclusive photograhic evidence of Monkerstein's incarceration.


Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator has a Campaign Strategy Meeting with Professor Xavier that reveals quite a bit about his leadership abilities, as well as the Professor's future political aspirations. He also has another Man of Action Campaign Update, and attempts to reach a younger audience. (A much younger audience.)


After a recent failed suicide attempt, Samurai Frog has made blundered into another failed attempt to discredit me. He has also dug up some more dirt on Dr. Smith.


After photographs surfaced of Dr. Smith's first date with Marcia Brady, his running mate, his campaign attempted to obfuscate some of the negative press he received by releasing his own snarky information about his opponents.


Dr. Smith has also made an interesting choice for his new campaign manager, and has recently added a bodyguard.




And I, your humble servant, brought you news of Samurai Frog's botched suicide and the possible downfall of Dr. Smith's campaign at the hands of his opponent running mate Marcia Brady.

 

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5 Comments:

At Tue Aug 14, 01:11:00 PM, Blogger Distributorcap said...

i am roflmao....i am making such a scene at work

 
At Tue Aug 14, 02:07:00 PM, Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

I hope you are roflmao from the truth, Distributorcap. The truth that I am your presidential candidate who is a Man of Action.

 
At Tue Aug 14, 03:35:00 PM, Blogger Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

As usual you drag everyone through the gutter you were so obviously born in sir!

I am not for lowering corporate taxes, I am going to raise them but they will save money when my single payer national health insurance program gets going.

You are so like your right wing media pals in your selective reporting.

 
At Wed Aug 15, 07:23:00 AM, Blogger Dr. Zaius said...

Distributorcap: Cool! You will have to tell us sometime what happened at work! I want to know!

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator: Yes, but do you have a Kung Fu Grip©?

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein: Ah, so you feel the need to insult others based on their origins? How very typically Republican of you. I am sure that you are feeling the loss of Karl Rove right now. I feel your pain, really I do. NOT!

 
At Wed Aug 15, 04:52:00 PM, Anonymous Dr. Smith said...

Someone had to take Marcia to the dance what with the rest of the family trying to hide the shame of cousin Oliver's flirtation with cross dressing.

I was just being a supportive friend.

 

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