Minister of Science and Chief Protector of the Faith

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Melanie Bowers Might Find the Career of Her Dreams at CNN

Lou Dobbs in drag

A 13-year-old girl who claimed she was attacked by a group inside Athens Middle School was caught on a surveillance camera causing the injuries to herself.

The girl now faces disciplinary action from the school and will be charged with filing a false police report, AISD superintendent Fred Hayes said during a news conference today.

The parents of Melanie Bowers have since sent letters of apology to school and law enforcement investigators.

Hayes said officials in investigating the matter saw the tape that caught her scratching herself on the arms and neck. Last week she had claimed the injuries were inflicted by a group of about 20 students who also threatened to sexually assault and kill her.

The girl had participated in a history class project with a "protest" theme. She brought to school a protest sign reading "If you love your country stop illegal immigration."

She claimed she was attacked because of the sign. Oliver Willis

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At Thu Apr 10, 07:01:00 AM, Blogger pissed off patricia said...

Hey, ya gotta teach hate to the youngin' early if you want it to grow up to be a complete asshole.

At Thu Apr 10, 08:13:00 AM, Blogger Randal Graves said...

Speaking of hate, don't you think it's hateful to show a picture of Lou Dobbs on his wedding day? That's going to be the cause of a month's worth of nightmares!

At Thu Apr 10, 08:54:00 AM, Blogger Jess Wundrun said...

I wonder if the parents wrote Republican Apology Letters?

The ones that go "we are sorry if anyone took our daughter's actions the wrong way"


"we are sorry for your over-reaction to our daughter's imaginative expressions"

Like that.

At Thu Apr 10, 09:19:00 AM, Blogger angry ballerina said...

Fucking idiot child.

At Thu Apr 10, 10:13:00 AM, Blogger mwb said...

I think she really got confused about the "Why are you hitting yourself?" taunt.

At Thu Apr 10, 11:45:00 AM, Blogger Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

I'm going to start carrying a signthat says, "If you love your country, then open it's borders to everyone. NOW!"

At Thu Apr 10, 02:13:00 PM, Blogger Freida Bee said...

I hope that girl will get some help, and that she never really gets raped, 'cause that would be a bitch for her to overcome.

At Thu Apr 10, 02:32:00 PM, Blogger Christopher said...

There goes the vitamin water on the keyboard!

Adding you to my blogroll.

I love good, brutal snark! :-)

At Thu Apr 10, 02:33:00 PM, Blogger Dean Wormer said...

Who does Dobbs think he's fooling in that WHITE dress?

We all know about him and the football team.

At Thu Apr 10, 03:04:00 PM, Blogger Spirula said...

Wassup with all the comments about "wedding dress"? It's a kid. You all live around Eldorado TX or something?

So, is that Lou's anchor baby?

Oh, and I'm in favor of wingnuts beating themselves up. The sooner the better, I say.

At Thu Apr 10, 03:50:00 PM, Blogger Wyldth1ng said...

The parents must be democrats.

At Thu Apr 10, 04:07:00 PM, Blogger Christopher said...

Lou Dobbs makes a splendid Mormon bride child.

At Thu Apr 10, 05:54:00 PM, Blogger Unconventional Conventionist said...

God, that picture! Who knew Chuckie's evil bride was Lou Dobbs?

At Fri Apr 11, 06:02:00 AM, Blogger Dr. Zaius said...

Pissed Off Patricia: **sigh** They grow up to be assholes so fast...

Randal Graves: Lou Dobbs is actually married to a Mexican woman. I think that his tirades are merely a subconscious desire to get a divorce!

Jess Wundrun: Oh, dear! I shall mail you a Zaius/Gregarious '08 Apology Letter right away! (I can't allow a Apology Letter gap at this important juncture of the campaign!)

Angry Ballerina: Indeed! Well put, Angry Ballerina.

MWB: Ha! That took me a minute to figure out. Very funny!

Dr. Monkerstein: Don't forget to beat yourself up and blame the bruises on your classmates!

Freida Bee: A very good point. I think that we all hope that for everyone, female and male. Also, it would have been difficult for her classmates to get over being falsely accused if she had not been found out.

Christopher: Ha! I love your blog! I have added you to my blogroll as well!

Dean Wormer: Oh, dear. Who blabbed? Was it the tight end? ;o)

Spirula: If only we could find a way to get all wingnuts to beat themselves up. Repeatedly!

Wyldth1ng: Yes! Damned hippies! Always trying to spread a message of peace, love and understanding! They should be shot.

Christopher: Hey! Then he could wear magic Romney underpants!

Unconventional Conventionist: Ha! I love your blog too! I have added you to my blogroll as well!


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