Minister of Science and Chief Protector of the Faith

Monday, June 16, 2008

"I like my women like I like my coffee... Bitter and murky."

 
Tony Avalon & The Belairs - "Sexy Coffee Pot"
Otis Redding - "Cigarettes and Coffee"
Star Trek Coffee House
Coffee Art
Folgers Coffee Advertisement [ 2, 3 ]
Wilkins Coffee
Garbage - "Cup of Coffee"
Frank Sinatra - "They Gotta Lotta Cofee in Brazil"
"You're the Cream in My Coffee"
Alvin and the Chipmunks (coffee scene)
Scrubs - Coffee Addiction
Morning Musume - "Morning Coffee"
Potato Gun Vs. Coffee Maker
"Coffee and Cigarettes" [ 2, 3, 4, 5 ]

I came across these a long time ago when I was looking up something else entirely and I ended up doing a minor Google wander. My favorite was always, "I like my women like I like my coffee... Bitter and murky." I also found the sheet music and an mp3 of "O Blessed, Holy Caffeine Tree!", Coffee Croons & Tea Tunes, and a swell Caffeine Molecule Necklace. Tony Avalon & The Belairs doing "Sexy Coffee Pot" is awesome!

I like my women like I like my coffee... Sweetened with two lumps.

I like my women like I like my coffee... On my lap as I drive to work.

I like my women like I like my coffee... Cheap, imported and with artificial ingredients.

I like my women like I like my coffee... Hot, strong and with a spoon in them.

I like my women like I like my coffee... Instant.

I like my women like I like my coffee... Filed as a miscellaneous expense on the budget.

I like my women like I like my coffee... Cheap and easy.

I like my women like I like my coffee... Drunk.

I like my women like I like my coffee... Smooth, hot and wonderful in every way.

I like my women like I like my coffee... Controversial.

I like my women like I like my coffee... Bitter and murky.

I like my women like I like my coffee... Tall, dark, and with a lot of emotional problems.

I like my women like I like my coffee... Strong, black, and with a penis.

I like my women like I like my coffee... "You really want to pay $200 for a cup of coffee?"

I like my women like I like my English cottages: warm, tidy, and covered with ivy.

I, too, like my women like I like my databases. Transactional.

I like my women ethically purchased from farming cooperatives in Latin America.

I like my women like I like my Neodymium Magnets, bipolar and hard to handle.

Eddie Izzard: "I like my women like I like my coffee ... In a plastic cup."

The movie Airplane: The flight attendant asked a young girl how she takes her coffee and her answer was, "Black, like my men."


(Deranged): I like my women like I like my coffee.

(Jet): Black?

(SteveTheImpermeableHamster): full of your cream?

(mistik): hawt?

(Jet): Columbian?

(Aimee): hot?

(Jet): From McDonalds?

(SteveTheImpermeableHamster): in a cup?

(Jet): Spilt all over your lap?

(mistik): cheap?

(Deranged): No...

(Deranged): Ground up, and in the freezer.


Caffeine combines with the stomach's hydrochloric acid and forms a potent toxin, caffeine hydrochloride. As this toxin is absorbed into your circulation and hits your liver, bile is released in an attempt to flush the toxin from your system. This accounts for the increase in bowel "regularity" of which many coffee drinkers boast. Coffee also has an acid-based oil which is an irritant to gastric mucosa. It simulates the secretion of gastric acidity and this results in secretion of adrenalin. The secretion of adrenalin stimulates insulin secretion with consequent secondary hypoglycaemia. The end results are tension, mild rise in blood pressure, 2-3 hours later a craving for sweets, low energy and mood levels, and over working of the adrenal glands. Coffee can also create a Thiamine (B-1) insufficiency... And I DON'T CARE!


PSYCHIC BLOGGER UPDATE: Unbeknownst to me, Germaine Gregarious blogged a post about coffee this morning too! (Spooky!)
 

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14 Comments:

At Mon Jun 16, 09:15:00 AM, Blogger The Station Agent said...

I was wondering if you would have Eddie Izzard on this list, and you did not disappoint me.

 
At Mon Jun 16, 09:57:00 AM, Blogger Unconventional Conventionist said...

Java! Forever!

 
At Mon Jun 16, 10:09:00 AM, Blogger Angry Ballerina said...

"I like my women like I like my coffee... Tall, dark, and with a lot of emotional problems."

That made me giggle.

 
At Mon Jun 16, 11:19:00 AM, Blogger dguzman said...

You and GG are obviously mental twins, joined at the java-hip!

 
At Mon Jun 16, 02:18:00 PM, Blogger Utah Savage said...

Bitter and murky is my favorite-- I am that woman, and that's how I like my coffee.

 
At Mon Jun 16, 07:23:00 PM, Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

I like my women like I like my coffee... Hot, black, and full of booze.

Those are some good lines.

 
At Mon Jun 16, 08:30:00 PM, Blogger Lockwood said...

I like my womeen like I like my coffee... exotic, unadorned and rich.
Thanks for the laughs!

 
At Mon Jun 16, 10:45:00 PM, Blogger Bubs said...

Yep. It doesn't make you nervous. It just heightens your awareness of your own inadequacy. But I do loves the coffee.

 
At Tue Jun 17, 02:17:00 AM, OpenID theardentthread said...

I like my women like my coffee, warm, creamy and sweet. I get to be the bitter and murky one!

 
At Tue Jun 17, 01:16:00 PM, Blogger Utah Savage said...

Dear theardentthread, you must like your women young, too. Only young women come warm, creamy and sweet. Women over forty become bitter and murky.

 
At Tue Jun 17, 03:02:00 PM, Blogger Liberality said...

I like coffee like I like my men--hot, organic and dark. I think I'll just help myself right now...

 
At Wed Jun 18, 07:31:00 AM, Blogger Dr. Zaius said...

The Station Agent: Eddie Izzard is great. (He's an executive transvestite, don't ya know!)

Unconventional Conventionist: Indeed! They can have my coffee when they pry the cup from my cold, dead hands!

Angry Ballerina: Ha! That's one of my favorites too!

Dguzman: I can't believe we posted on the same subject at the same time. Freaky!

Utah Savage: Bitter and murky women are the hottest women of them all!

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator: Hee hee! I missed that one.

Lockwood: Ha! That's a good one too!

Bubs: The heightened awareness of my own inadequacy that coffee affords me helps to quell some of my egotism. (But not much!)

The Ardent Thread: You will always be warm, creamy and sweet to me!

Utah Savage: I must disagree. Many women start out bitter and murky. They call them Goth Chicks!

Liberality: Ha! You have just endorsed Obama!

 
At Wed Jun 18, 11:43:00 AM, Blogger Liberality said...

Shhh!

 
At Sat Jun 21, 10:59:00 AM, Blogger Dr. Zaius said...

Hee hee!

 

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