Minister of Science and Chief Protector of the Faith

Friday, July 25, 2008

The Latest News From the Campaign Trail

 

We have a new presidential candidate! Diva Jood has thrown her hat into the ring, and selected Sister Mary Ellen as her running mate. Randal Graves shall serve as her campaign manager, and OKJimm shall be serving refreshments.



I must say that am glad to see that they have adopted a similar position as that of my campaign on the situation in Iraq that was presented last November by the official spokesperson of the Zaius/Gregarious campaign, Sandra Lou!
 

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18 Comments:

At Fri Jul 25, 08:58:00 AM, Blogger CDP said...

I'll need to know their positions on:
1. Happy Underpants
2. Puppies
3. Chocolate Cake

before I can consider their candidacy.

 
At Fri Jul 25, 09:21:00 AM, Blogger DivaJood said...

Does this mean we have to have a debate? That sounds an awful lot like work, and as a Diva, I shun work. However, I love Happy Underpants, especially when little puppies have pulled them out of the hamper and are happily chewing on them. I am very fond of puppies, and will be getting one soon. Chocolate cake is a food group, and must be cherished.

 
At Fri Jul 25, 10:01:00 AM, Blogger DivaJood said...

And by the way, I am going to add your blog to my blogroll so I can keep an eye on you. Just making sure you don't have your hand in the till, or are doing something illegal or scandalous.

 
At Fri Jul 25, 10:02:00 AM, Blogger Randal Graves said...

You know, this campaign is probably going to be less nasty than the one on teevee. Should we start throwing spitballs at each other? Or underpants?

 
At Fri Jul 25, 10:42:00 AM, Blogger okjimm said...

gees, I don't believe in underpants. Why put them on if you just have to take them off for all the really important functions & fun.

Plus it is less laundry. Conserve Water&Soap&such.

this is really breaking me up. I had to add you to my infant blog roll thingee. Hope you don't mind.
I'm gonna do it anyways! :)

 
At Fri Jul 25, 02:49:00 PM, Blogger Bradda said...

Thw wrath will come down on thee Dr. Z, oh who am I kidding, these dang Happy underpants are just a little tight!

 
At Fri Jul 25, 08:11:00 PM, Blogger FranIAm said...

Oh my- finally something to turn this awful election season around!

And just a few months ago it was all Monkey/Love and Zaius/GG...

 
At Fri Jul 25, 10:22:00 PM, Blogger Anita said...

hmmm ... seems like there's an awful lot of talk about underwear this campaign season.

i guess that's ok. as long as you keep them panties clean i'm ok with it.

and yes, of course, conserve water in the process. we need to save OUR planet.

 
At Sat Jul 26, 01:00:00 AM, Blogger GETkristiLOVE said...

A diva and a sista? No way. Monkeys will rule the world, with a lot of Love to boot.

 
At Sat Jul 26, 10:27:00 AM, Blogger Angry Ballerina said...

I smell a scandal............

 
At Sat Jul 26, 03:39:00 PM, Blogger okjimm said...

// I smell a scandal...........//

Ok. Who didn't change their underwear?

 
At Sat Jul 26, 06:55:00 PM, Blogger Unconventional Conventionist said...

I'm so torn. I'm an Unconventional Delegate you know. I have previously pledged support to the Zaius/GG ticket, but I have actually offered the price of my vote to Divajood;

MINISTER OF UFO'S!

Now if Zaius will offer Minister of Appetizers, Happy Hour Czar ALONG WITH Minister of UFO's well then, I would HAVE to vote Ape/Lesbian.

Yes, I am SO shallow....

 
At Sun Jul 27, 02:16:00 PM, Blogger DivaJood said...

Unconventional, I will double your salary. That's all I'm saying. Minister of UFOs, Appetizers and Happy Hour PLUS doubling your salary. Shallow belongs with Divas and Nuns.

 
At Mon Jul 28, 10:16:00 AM, Blogger Dr. Zaius said...

CDP: Ha! You raise the most important questions of all! Good work, CDP!

DivaJood: Indeed! We seem to be running on a similar platform, Ms. Jood. What is your position on moonbeams and kittens?

DivaJood: Illegal? Scandalous? Moi? My dear woman, you cut me to the quick! I shall of course do likewise, for the same reasons.

Randal Graves: Why don't we start with some chocolate cake, and see what develops?

OKJimm: Ack! You don't believe in Happy Underpants? Underpants can only be truly happy if you believe in Happy Underpants. Don't ruin it for all of the other underpants. Think of the children!

Bradda: Oh, dear! Happy Underpants must never be too tight. Try thinking of Happy Underpants thoughts to loosen them up!

FranIAm: Ack! Don't forget Splotchy, Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator, and Sleestak! :o)

Anita: The Zaius/Gregarious campaign isn't only about puppies and rainbows... Our campaign is about kittens and moonbeams too!

GETkristiLOVE: Maybe not a monkey, but definitely a simian...

Angry Ballerina: Hmm... the nose knows... ;o)

OKJimm: Randal Graves, of course. **phew**

Unconventional Conventionist: Although I foresee no problem with your request for any of the positions you have requested, I would like hope that you will explain your abilities a bit further regarding, The intangibility of the position of Minister of UFOs lends itself readily to my administration, but I do have a few questions regarding the other positions. For example, as Minister of Appetizers, what is it that you could bring to the table specifically? Can you make sandwich art, as seen in this post? And as Happy Hour Czar, will you bring your own paper umbrellas and swizzle sticks? Can you supply those little plastic mermaids for the purpose of spearing olives in martini glasses? Some of these important details must be worked out in more specific terms.

CDP raises an important point - are you able to swear you undying allegiance to Happy Underpants, Puppies, Rainbows, kittens, Moonbeams and Chocolate Cake? I have no intention of merely offering you an empty pledge and then not being able to deliver on said promises, as some might do. I do think that we came to terms, however, and I think that you will find that I am making you an offer that you can't refuse.

I am able to tender an additional an additional important perk to you, if you choose to accept my generosity - and that is the finest life insurance policy through LGPPP, Inc., free of charge, and with coverage that is good for the rest of your life. With this comprehensive life insurance policy you will be safe from being thrown down a staircase, riddled with bullet holes, drowned in a bathtub, or poisoned by a perilously potent piña colada. You will not be inadvertently encased in the cement foundation of a building, you will not unwittingly fall down an elevator shaft nor accidentally commit suicide without your foreknowledge. With this life insurance policy you can rest assured that you will not be garroted in a geisha house nor set ablaze in burning bordello. Your mind will be at ease knowing that you are safe from all of these (and other) possible perilous events. Without this important insurance policy, I am afraid that one never knows what might happen...

DivaJood: Don't attempt a high dive from the shallow end of the pool, Ms. Jood. The Unconventional Conventionist is a man of integrity.

 
At Mon Jul 28, 04:34:00 PM, Blogger mwb said...

Man, Dr Monkey von Monkerstein and Samurai Frog drop out and now Jon, Dr. Zaius and I have some new young pups getting into the race.

The battle begins anew!

 
At Mon Jul 28, 06:38:00 PM, Blogger Unconventional Conventionist said...

Life Insurance through LGPPP? Hmmm, probably insured that I have NO life if I do not accept.

Touche!

I accept, and shall produce details of a plan as you have asked.

 
At Tue Jul 29, 07:10:00 AM, Blogger Mary Ellen said...

Gosh, I should have come here to scope out my competition sooner! What's all this talk about underpants? Nuns normally don't wear underpants under their Habits, except on Holy Days of Obligation where we are obliged to wear them...but that's a special occasion so we wear thongs.

Unconventional Conventionist: What can I do to make you change your mind and come back to the team? How about a tour of my vice presidential undisclosed location? It's a sight to behold, I can promise you that. Come back to the light UC....leave the darkness and come back to the light......

Dr. Zaius, I'll add you to my blogroll. I've go my eye on you!

 
At Tue Jul 29, 09:30:00 PM, Blogger Distributorcap said...

i worry about all these choices -- cant we just have the Soviet Union

 

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